2:32 this afternoon marks the fifth call i have received today from an 800 number looking for elizabeth gonzales, who is apparently me.  perhaps i have an alter ego whose dominant presence refuses to allow my part of our shared consciousness to be aware of her?  and she's hispanic?  that's the best explanation i have for why they (a collections agency, apparently), staunchly demur at my denials of being ms. gonazales, and continue to call my number looking for her.

a sample first conversation:

*phone rings*

me: hello?

recording: we have important business to discuss with you, however all of our associates are busy.  please stay on the line......

real person: elizabeth gonzales?

me: no, you have the wrong number

real person: oh.

*rp hangs up*
_______________
sample fifth conversation:

*phone rings*

me: expletive 800 number!  i told them not to call me any more!!

me, composing myself: hello

recording: we have important business to discuss with you, however all of our associates are busy.  please stay on the line......

real person: hello, ms. gonzales?

me: no, this is not, nor has it been recently the number for elizabeth gonzales.  please leave me a-...

real person: *has hung up*

me: oh no he didn't.

*i call back number*

recording: hello, thank you for calling card services.  we have verified your account number based on your phone number.  if the last four digits of your account number are 3756, press one.  if this is incorrect, enter your full account number now.

*i press 0.......*

......real indian person: hello, may i have your name?

me: MY name is JESSICA, but you have been trying to reach someone named Elizabeth Gonzales at this number, which is not her number, not for the 5 years i have had it.  I have told this to all of the people who have called me today, and no one cares that they have a wrong number.  I need this to stop.

real indian person: *is very nice, promises she is pulling up the account to make the change*

me, skeptically: thank you.

real indian person: thanks so much for calling xyz card services today, we appreciate your business.

me: frakking morons.

_____

as of 3:07 i have not received any more calls.  time will tell, my friends.  time will tell.

_________
UPDATE:

4:28....another call.  i was assured this would be the last one.
i, drunk with pessimism, laugh.

mom and dad sent to my work for graduation the first flowers i've ever been sent, since they'll be out of town for the only thing i'm doing for graduation: honors luncheon.  hey, why dress up and wait forever to walk across the stage while they pronounce your name wrong in front of a lot of people you don't know when you could get a free lunch and a medallion?

i don't know about you, but i chose lunch + medallion.

today, i'm just at a loss.
hmmmm....