Deep thoughts by Sean Philip
(Whoa this is a long one. Either close
your browser right now or get comfortable. For those of you who don't feel like reading a bunch of random thoughts, just skip to number 8)
1) In the thousands of years we as humankind have been on this earth, why have
we not yet found a cure for starvation? We've had so much time to come up with
a system where all nations "pitch in" and make sure that everyone
living is fed. It could really be such a simple system. Although when you think
about it, there are a lot of variables. One major one would be population
control. Still, it is a simple concept and a feasible one at that - especially
with the technology and resources we as humans now have. The answer to my
question is that nobody cares enough to put something as large of an idea
together.
2) What is reality? Is there anyway one could manifest reality? It may be
possible but I've yet to do so. You sure as hell cannot do it with drugs or
alcohol. I've realized that doing these things just gives one a false sense of
reality for that short period of time. Your problems and your worries are going
to be there no matter what. So that leads me to ask myself, "Why continue doing this stuff?" Is it because it's fun or because it passes time?
It's always
good to look at things from a wider perspective to get a different view of life
or my inner workings. But what do I do when I'm in an altered state? I only
view things from a much more narrow perspective. I think it's time for me to
grow up, but where is the motivation? I have no motivation. Am I the only one
who can help me?
3) Something there is that loathes what I've become.
4) When will I begin the metamorphosis into the adult life? Is it going to be
when I join the military? Am I going to join the military? Do I even want
to join the military? Do I even want to be an adult? Even if I don't, there is
no choice - it's inevitable. Or is it? Is adulthood denoted by age? Is
adulthood denoted by self realization? Is adulthood denoted by maturity? Does
growing up have to happen? Maybe we must become adults because we accept it as
an inevitability. I cannot believe I am almost 20 years old. There is so much I
haven't seen or experienced. I'm just beginning my journey through human life.
What the hell do I know? I suppose the more appropriate question would
be...What don't I know. There is so much out there that I'm not aware of nor will I ever become aware of. I have a hard time accepting this. Is becoming an adult going to be a gradual change? Or will it be a sudden
incident? I feel as though my life has something special in store for me. I
know I'm different than most people. It's so hard to find people that I can
connect with and understand. It's even HARDER to find someone who understands
me. I can't even find myself so I can understand me. Does this ultimately mean
that I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life? I have no idea. There are
so many people on this earth and I'm sure at least one person in existence is
like me and will imperforate me. When will I stumble upon this person? Will I
even find this person? Why rely on another person to complete myself? It's only natural to want to be loved. Even if I don't find anyone, I'll be content with being alone.
5) Why is whatever someone says correct? Only because it's never been proved
wrong? Truth as we know it is characterized by a few things:
a) Wide acceptance
b) Narrow opposition
c) Mathematical or evidential support
The thing is, because something has not been proven wrong does not make
it true. Of course there are plenty of things we consider the truth that are
actually "the truth", but have any of you ever questioned things? Is
that what's wrong with society now? We are just spoon fed information and
accept it as the truth. Do you folks know what propaganda is? If not, look it
up. Now getting back on a more religious view of the truth...will I ever
understand this concept? The concept of something being absolute and divine.
The idea that there will be nothing that will ever arise to disprove the
presence of God? I tell you what, I sure hope so.
6) Humility...hmmm...I have to think about this for a while. In fact, let me go
to Dictionary.com and look up the accepted definition of what humility is.
"The quality or condition of being humble." Being humble...why is
this so hard? Why do we think we are better than others? Social status,
monetary status, ideological concepts... why do these define superiority? Who
cares? Well...most of us obviously do. A concept most of the world cannot grasp
is that we aren't better than one another - we are one. We are humans living in
this wonderful world. One quote that my mother has always had on the fridge
states, "Love your life and it will be worth living". Wow, that is
deep. So many of us forget to love our lives. Why do we do this? Because there
are things that bring us down and things that don't appease our desires. It seems funny to say this, but the fact that our desires are not always fulfilled is such a beautiful thing. If we always got what we desired, there would
be nothing special in this world. Nothing to make us appreciate the good and
appreciate our lives. Our happiness would be defined by our possessions...oh
wait isn't this true already?
7) Now to the most interesting question I thought about the other day: If one were
to play hooky from school...does that make him or her a hooker? 
8) I realize I'm just rambling on. I didn't have such a great night so it got me thinking about random crap. I should probably start writing more to release my angst. I really don't want any of you to think that I believe i'm better than anyone else. I hardly know anything about anything. There is so much more to life than what I see. There is so much more to "more" than what I know. There is so much "more" to "know" than I can comprehend. I just want to become a wiser more understanding person (which I believe will lead the way to adulthood). To even start this metamorphosis, do I need to begin with self realization? This might be the hardest step.
<3
| 
Sean got a job! 
