WaitingForEpiphany's Xanga

testing...testing

Sat, 02 Feb 2008 10:51:10 GMT

my page is all screwed up. Granted I haven't used it much but, heh, it's mine!

Hugs

Mon, 09 Jul 2007 18:15:23 GMT

There is nothing more pure than a spontaneous hug from a three-year-old. And, given enough of these, I think that I could survive on this alone.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Sun, 22 Oct 2006 10:35:48 GMT

I looked at the calendar and realized that if I’m going to keep up my semi-annual blog rate, I’d better get busy and get it done. It is Sunday morning and I am sitting at work trying to figure out how to reduce overhead costs. This blog is a tell-tale sign of the progress that I am making.

It is a grey autumn morning. The trees in our area are beautiful this weekend. My mind keeps drifting back to yesterday, which was one of those perfect autumn days that we get to enjoy from time to time. I saw this excerpt in one of LMF’s recent blogs and it really struck home:

-O world, I cannot hold thee close enough!- E. St. Vincent Millay

Late in the afternoon, my wife and I drove to a nearby town to pick up a piece of furniture that we had bought. I told her that I really hated to see this day come to a close because it was such a perfect, rare autumn day. I felt like I couldn’t breath in enough of the sweet, sharp air and that I was compelled to look at every tree. I suppose that if days like these were more common, we might appreciate them less, but as it is, I will wait impatiently for this time next year.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Tue, 27 Jun 2006 08:14:42 GMT

"PaPaw, mon"
"Where we goin'"
"pin"
"You want to open the garage"
"Uh-huh, gawg"
"Do you want to push the button?"
"Uh-huh, but..tin"
"PaPaw, mow"
"Talk softly"
"PaPaw, mow"
"That's better"
"We can't ride the tractor, 'cause its raining"
"Mow!"
"Not now. We can hammer nails"
"Uh-huh, naoes"

Grandson is learning to talk at an exponential rate now. It's just amazing.
He can also drive an 1-1/4 roofing nail in under 10 whacks!

Friday, June 16, 2006

Fri, 16 Jun 2006 16:27:28 GMT

I had a bit of an eye opener this week. This is something that everybody is aware of unless you just flew in from Mars; things that one writes and posts on the web really are open to total public scrutiny. If you don't want everyone or anyone under any circustance, either present or future, to read what you've written, then you better not post it on the web. I was half listening to a story on the radio this week; I don't remember exactly what the story was about but, it had something to do with a soldier who I think died in Iraq. In the story the soldier's widow was quoted on some things she wrote on a blog or bulletin board. It may not have been an issue for her, the fact that this was now being broadcast over the radio waves. This wasn't clear from what I heard of the story, but the content sounded to me as if it was something that was written for a small, select audience of confidants. One part was something to the effect of, "...wait 'till he get's home with that sweet ass of his and we'll make more babies...". It struck me like a ton of bricks; The reporter who created this story was probably able, via some simple search techniques, to come up with some obscure postings by this "everyday" person and felt ethically sanctified and journalistically obliged to include them as part of her radio story. I think what happened with me on hearing this was that it got me over the hump of thinking that all of the warnings coming from various sources were derived from a rampant big-brother paranoia.

The internet is an amazing and wonderful tool on one hand. But, on the other hand is a media the likes of which we have never known. It will take time before social, moral, ethical and legal norms evolve that allow us embed this tool as part of our lives while minimizing its capability to control and even catastrophically change our lives. For those of us who are a little slow on the up-take, a little bit of paranoia my be a good thing.

Friday, April 07, 2006

Fri, 07 Apr 2006 11:43:43 GMT

Hello to all my blog readers...I mean, hello to both my blog readers...I mean, hi Faith. The fact that I haven't blogged for several months isn't really such a transgression. I have been in such a winter's rut that I can summarize my life in a few brief words; my health is progressing nicely, I haven't done squat on the house remodeling, I go to work and struggle with the same personalities, I come home and crash, and I am still enjoying my grandson immensely. That's about it.

We are heading towards the finish line on a major effort at work which was to implement a new enterprise system to handle operations, accounting, and financials. It has been a huge endeavor for our small company, but when the dust settles I think we will conclude that the cost and sweat was worth it. Today, Friday, I am allowing myself to feel like things are going well. That inner peace is being allowed to stick its head out of the cage and sniff around a little. I always have it on a short leash and, anymore, it is inherently cautious; maybe paranoid. There are snakes in grass, alligators in the weeds, and hammers ready to fall but, for a little while I'm going to think things are in control and going well. If this lasts until 5:00, I can have a good weekend and mow the grass for the first time (yech).

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Wed, 19 Oct 2005 09:48:11 GMT

I will write briefly. I have taken an anti-nausea that brings on the sleepies fairly quickly. The thought running through my mind concerns the idea that i think we can lull ourselves into a sense of equity; of fairness. We can fairly indulge in life and take our fair share of the bounties; at the same time we expect to be dealt a bit of challenges to overcome; glitches in our effortless enjoyment of life. Each culture probably has a difference sense of what is fair in this negative part of life. Any more than our fair share and we start using phrases like, "why am I being shit on?" Certainly people who were devastated by Katrina and then only weeks later clobbered by Rita would be justified in wondering which god was getting his jollies by pissing on their picnic.

In the last few years our family has dealt with illness and deaths, some tragic, some just sad. But, at no time have I felt that I was being hit with more than my fair share of life's negative side. Really. It never crossed my mind, "why me". I look around at those who deal with such horrible conditions and wonder, "why not me".

This week, my sense of fairness may have been shaken. We learned that my 84 year old mother has breast cancer. So far it sounds like timing, size, location, etc. would indicate that it is the better of a bad situation. She lives in a condo in my little town, but there is already talk of having her going to stay with a brother who lives near Philly. She should be abe to find an excellent oncologist and my sister-in-law can get her to and from appointments. It's all doable. But that is about the best I can say about it. Yes, there are many poor souls who have it much worse with little hope of ever seeing improvement in their lives but, this is my mother and I'm having a hard time wondering who decided they had to piss on our parade.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Sat, 15 Oct 2005 18:18:04 GMT

Reserving a space for a blog that is slightly interesting read...

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Thu, 18 Aug 2005 09:45:43 GMT

I met with Dr. Pohlman at the Cleveland Clinic last week and we started laying out the schedule for the Stem Cell transplant. We won't start with stimulation chemo until second week in Sept. so he suggested that I get one more chop+R treatment. I went into my wonderful home oncologist this last Tuesday to get the treatment and she said that we would have to do a Bone Marrow Biopsy soon in order to keep on the Clinic's schedule. I said, "how soon?". She said, "how about today?". I said, "Well, it's a good thing today is Tuesday because, that's clean underwear day!".

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Tue, 02 Aug 2005 09:11:15 GMT

Dateline: August 2, 2005
We’re at the front lines in this latest war to beat back the tyrannical forces of cancer. The men and women up here are staging a relentless battle. The battlefield is often deceivingly quiet but, behind the clean, sterile façade rages an epic struggle. The allied forces comprised of doctors, nurses, technicians, and Bob have beaten back the hideous menace to half its strength, clearing the way for the Allied invasion. What is sure to be a historical confrontation holds promise of once and for all beating the evil one back into long term remission. Sources close to the command center predict that the invasion forces will be ready by mid September. The operation code name, Stem Cell Transplant, will be an all-out commitment of Allied resources. Morale is strong and the troops are eager to get on with it. When asked what he thinks about the chances for victory, one G.I. replied, “We’re not gonna give up until we lick those Bastards (excuse my French)!

So, there you have it. The battle wages on with the insidious enemy. The destruction of war lay all around, yet, with victory in sight, the Allies will surge forward with limitless determination.

Reporting live from the front,
E.R. Murrow