I need to write. To simply be able to sit down at my computer and send a message out into the deep void of the internet. And so I return to Xanga.

Do you remember the days when you were a kid and you had that one best friend? That one person that you made mud pies with, scared the neighbor's cat with, had secret clubhouses with, and just spent all your time with? I had a few of those. Nicole, Rachel, Deanne, Laura....With most of them we grew apart somehow. We moved, our interests changed, our churches changed, and life just simply happened.

I just lost one of those. Again.

Somehow I thought that after growing up a little it would be different. That with new technology the idea of "we just grew apart" would be antiquated and life would always be a jar full of lollipops.

Now I'm finding out that my general store idea of friendship is so incredibly wrong.  

I was told once that some friends are friends for a week, some for a month, and some for years. And that whatever type of friend one happens to be, it's okay. Because at least you had their friendship. 

Yeah, that idea sucks. I still believe that it's true, but that doesn't mean that I have to like it.

 

I leave in four days. No the crash hasn't changed my plans it was at a different airport than the one I will be flying in and out of. And yes, I miss my family already.

I just bought my ticket and I leave for Brazil on the 23rd of July...18 days from now. Amazing. And incredibly scary. So much to do....

I will be going to Fortaleza for six days, and then traveling back to Sao Paulo to start orientation and classes. Fortaleza is like the Bahamas. They don't have winter, they have a rainy season. And that just finished so I am going at the perfect time. :) Sweet.

I am so nervous, and scared. and incredibly excited. how in the world am i going to do this.