Whatisfaith's Xanga

Life taking a bit longer

Sat, 07 Jun 2008 23:32:13 GMT

Praise the Lord that I do get out of my house to go to Physical Therapy. Yet, life takes a bit longer to get around. Instead of walking in smaller circles at home we will go to a store or eat a bit out which gives additional excersise. Plus, it changes the scenery. I will admit I was quite self conscious about going around at my age with a walker! Crutches are in my opinion more acceptable in ways. Yet, I find the walker more stable for the klutz I can be! Yet, if I'm eathing we find a way to hide the walker under the table or such.

I can be blind at times focus on myself or look around to see opportunity. I will admit I still fight looking down as I walk which is a lot for my own safty. Yet, when I do sit to rest I find another person my come up to sit and ask questions. Children are interesting. I think I have convinced a few not to play in the street, it is dangerous or being too close to the street! Yet, it worth it to keep a child thinking safer!

At times, I can be shy, yet this can cause a few to ask questions. The swelling in areas is gradually decreasing which is nice. When I do share, I share it simple unless more questions are asked. Yet, it allows me to give credit to God for protecting me. I find fellow Christians who smile in aggreement and others question if God was protecting then why did it happen in the first place and some other questions. Hmmmmm............... it gives me an opportunity to share about God with you at this appointed time?

I have worked 12 hour night shifts for years and don't get out much in the day. My life and shifted more to a day life in ways which fit the schedule requested of me to keep. Yet, it all still flexes with different things. I want to be flexible to learn and accept changes. I was gradually loosing some weight since Feb. but this has given new incentlive as it will help in getting back to the streets. My eating habits are changing for the good in ways. Yet, life takes time. I thought I may get caught up in things but life is still busy and full.

Yet, promises of healing I do get in the scriptures and things I learn I get to apply. I pray I'm faithful during this time to do what is put in front of me to keep my focus on God and not myself or men's thoughts of how things go. I see a strong leg muscles waste away yet know they will be rebuilt. I think rebuld verses rehab. I think of spiritual muscle that can do the same if not worked! I do praise the Lord for what I"m learning and want to be faithful to learn! I look at this as an opportunity to learn and work in a different way for this time until the healing is complete to return to the streets!

I do like things quiet

Fri, 23 May 2008 18:26:45 GMT

I do like to keep things quiet in ways. When I was young I learned about what is rewarded here on earth will not be rewarded in heaven. Don't let your left hand know what your right hand is doing. This last week that did not go too well. I'm one of those that like to be behind the scenes. I have found already in life when you are in the spotlight the enemy loves to attack and tear down.

I do understand scriptures that encourage us to let others build us up not ourselves as we are not too think too highly of ourselves (Romans 12:3). Humbleness lets us live more peacably with those around us. Yet, God does bless us with many blessings which can upset others too. Yet, again, God will protect us. I must learn to apply that over and over.

The accident last month was kept out of the news which I praise God for and know He was amazing in how God did that! Yet, my supervisors at work wanted to give an award based on that night and past performance. I had not seen them for awhile. Yet, the words they told me when I was out at the activity was that they were still glad I was here on earth and protected from what happened. I again was able to give God credit for it to others.

I struggled before I went to this activity due to what it was about. Yet, afterwards, I was able to give God the credit for how He did protect me when people came up to me. Did I want to go in a wheelchair? Did I want pictures of me in it and the brace? No! Yet, again, I could see my own pride creeping back in about things.

It is amazing all the ways our pride can creep in and prevent us from wanting to do things that can give God glory for what He has done. I was not out looking for that award. I was just caught on that scene instead of riding off into the sunset.

Yet, in ways, I dreaded going because I like to do things quietly. Yes, I may write on xanga on how I can do things better or what I'm learning. Not to many visit this site and fewer that few around here where I live. I like that it is quiet. This site is a way to share quietly. I could be any face in the crowd that a person could pass. We are all learning and doing that even through our mistakes we make.

Psalms tells us of God's Protection repeatedly!

Wed, 21 May 2008 14:55:35 GMT

In this world we can become fearful at times and not want to stand up for Godly values when it seems it can be so unpopular even with church "friends" that can be encouraging you to compromise values just to fit in with the peers of the world! Yet, when we read Psalms as it is full of praise to God in all things as they seek God's help repeatedly against enemies! As we read over and over what do we find out God will do with His enemies who go against Him? Why should we fear???!!!!

Yes, we still have fear at times and weaken our words at times to fit in when we know better and feel led to say stronger! I do that. At times, I can get so frustrated with my ownself for this weakness in me. I miss out on God's blessings when I don't stand strong. When somebody asks me if they are messing up? Why on earth do I think they are asking me this? Does it occur to me that maybe God has sent them to me to hear truth? Or, do I just try to be nice and not give them what I feel lead to say because I FEAR it could hurt their feelings!!! I take the easy way out which is wrong of me due to I may not be telling them what they were suppose to hear and counting on to hear. I tried to their friend by being "nice" instead of some one who could truly encourage them despite how they could feel for awhile.

Oh, I have experienced doing what I'm suppose to do when they ask me and how upset they can be when I say what I'm lead to say. Oh, then in their upset state they start running their mouth off to others in what I said to them. Yet, they asked me? Did they want me to lie or give them flatterying to help them justify the compromise of God's values in their life so they can blame others for the decisions made? Sorta like, Christian compromise peer pressure of justification to sin! We can come up with so many justifications to go off the plan in our life to Glorify God. Satan does not wear a red suit with a pitchfork for us to spot! He is deceptive! The temptation can appear good and justify itself in being right.

In college I remember a girl while I was in college who was in my Bible Study I was leading out in want me to tell her it was okay for her to live with a non Christain boyfriend during the summer to save money for college the next year. That one was real black and white to answer. Oh, she was upset that I told her, I don't think it is okay at all! She told her "Christain" peers that did give justification for this summer living arrangement how judgemental and all that I was. I was just horrible. She was not going to speak to me again ever. Well, I found out through mutual friends that fall she did move in with him but it only lasted a few weeks. She found a Christian boyfriend that fall semester. Toward the end of the fall semester she looked me up on campus and told me she wanted to talk privately as I could see her eyes had been in tears earlier. We found a place where we could talk in private as the tears flowed from her eyes she admitted to me she was with child and it was due last part of April. I did not have contact numbers for her till that visit. As she had asked God to forgive her and turning her life around she realized I had been a true friend to her and knew I would be there for her. She was scared to tell her Christian friends and her family. Later when she told the "justifying Christian" "friends" of the summer behavior they basically turned their back on her. I vistied her in the hospital when the little girl was born along with the Pastor of the church they were attending that time. Both were raised in strong Christian background families. Those two minds of college potential God had blessed to be in college dropped out and got married. I praise God the child was kept and not aborted like some of her "christian" friends along with non christian friends suggested so they both could have stayed in school like nothing happened. Her heart still seeked God as they both asked for God's forgiveness. They have had other children since and maintained a home of sincere faith. They did not let that let it get in the way of continuing in faith like some can as they can give up. Her faith grew huge since! Families reconciled and God protected them. She is a constant reminder to me how to go on after messing up in ways. We all mess up but have different consquences for what we do.

Yet, the friends we keep do make a difference in our lives and directions we take due to their influence. What kind of influence am I if I take the nice way of words instead of saying the full strength at times, I know I'm suppose to say but don't out of fear? Back to Psalms, over and over it repeats how God will protect us. God is given names of our Refuge, Protector, High Tower, Deliverer and so much more!!! Over and over it is repeated how God will protect us. If they go against God they become God's enemies which is a place I don't want to be. In a church there are sheep/goats and wheat/tares. Yet at times the goats don't even realize they are a goat as they are even blinded by their own pride and deceived by the enemy as he uses them to help others compromise in faith. Psalms 55:12-14 (14) "We took sweet counsel together, and walked unto the house of God in company." The Old Testament and New Testament ties themselves together over and over!

Yet, at times, I still dread when people ask me what they should do and I know the answer I give them they will not like or want to hear. I know they can turn on me and be quite vicious. Yet, when they do this who's enemy do they become? I pray! God listens! God can bring them back, not me! I have to wait on God's timing. If I get involved on my own will not God's I can make it worse I learn from experience.

I'm learning things as God has me slowed down for awhile. He is reminding me that being "nice" can be wrong! I know God is preparing me for what is to come as I am reminded of my past in being "nice" at times. Being nice can really hurt them and me in the long run! We all then miss out on the blessings of God for doing what is right and what He wants us to do. Dear Lord please open my ears and give me the boldness to speak what I know to do and not compromise from fear of what the reaction can be. You will protect me! IN Jesus name. Amen.

How can I be a true sincere Christian friend if I don't stand for Christain values? I must remember God has sent them to me for a reason. Disagreeing with those that are encouraging them to compromise even if they do attend a church is something I'm suppose to do without fear! Narrow in the path...... wide is the path that leads to destruction. Good intentions are not actions of those with sincere faith. I must act when I'm told to act not be nice to save hurt feelings! How much pain and damage can happen if I don't obey?

Healing well

Tue, 20 May 2008 18:50:35 GMT

I was able to see the Doctor that put my knee back together in the operating room but know his hands were guided by God as it is healing well! He made the brace where it will not bend and I can start GRADUALLY putting weight on it to walk while using the walker. For some reason the word GRADUALLY was repeated over and over to me. I can now go out to PT! I can leave my house besides just going to the Doctor!!!!!!!

I see him in another 5 weeks! I'm excited as his words were encouraging as he did speak of me returning to work! I am excited in how God choses to work! I knew I would be going back that night of the accident as people looked me wondering about that. Do I trust man or God? I can dwell on man's words or God's promises!

Yet, I'm understanding the word "all" better than I did before in asking God to help me in things. I have taken so much forgranted in faith. Many lessons to learn yet! I do praise God for slowing me down to help me learn them so I can use them now and later so I can be used by Him better. I still have so much to learn. We all do.

Patience works with Faith

Sat, 17 May 2008 18:24:59 GMT

Learning more about patience lately as it relates to faith. Patience is also about dependance. Faith needs patience and dependance. I thought life would slow down a bit as some things changed for awhile. It is amazing how many things there is still to do!!!!

God can use us in any shape we are in! You don't need your legs if you are using your mouth or your fingers! Or other body parts! God is amazing! The learning continues and if I ever stop...... I don't think I will be on earth! Yet, then heaven is still more!!!! Praise the Lord!

Understanding Apostle Peter more

Wed, 14 May 2008 06:36:42 GMT

How many accident scenes have I worked over the years knowing God was protecting me? Yet, I knew I had the lights of my unit, police, and Fire protecting us to alert passing motorists that there is an accident and slow down. I have stopped on scenes off duty before to assist others but not on an overpass with that road speed as the cars still passed on 3 lanes going the same direction. More space available to avoid the accident right? Yet, the drivers must be paying attention!

Yet, even more important I need to keep my attention on my Faith in Jesus Christ as I walk on this earth and have the faith to know He is protecting me without a doubt. NO FEAR! Growing up and working since, I have been told I was crazy at times for some things I do when I feel lead to do them. I know I'm suppose to do them and God will protect me. I'm not about to do something with a risk that I don't feel God leading me in due to that is fully stupid as I would be doing for me instead of God's glory. I will admit if I don't know for sure I will not due to I don't want my own pride to get in my way.How many of us well meaning have let pride get in our way and have regrets? We all can do it. When we are risking ourselves and others, we have to know God is leading us in what we are doing!

Seeing the one car accident. I knew I was suppose to stop. I saw they guy standing inbetween his open drivers door and the car which would be a terrible place if someone hit his car as the front of it was facing oncoming traffic in outside lane with front damage to the point of his headlights not properly working. I got out of my car in full faith knowing God will take care of me. I was so focussed on running up to the guy and trying to get him away from his car that I did notice Jess having difficulty in getting out of the car on the passenger side due to how close I parked on the outside shoulder a distance ahead of the car to keep the car and her safe. I was focussed at the job at hand. I was calling dispatch to notify of accident and no injuries at this time (People can always change mind as they calm down.). I was forwarded to another dispatch system to give better attention to the scene yet there was a few second lag time on the phone and I was not use to being fowarded to another dispatch. Those few seconds I became a bit frustrated which took my eyes off my focus of God taking care of me. I looked over the rail noticing the drop, I watched and felt the vibrations as traffic passed us on the inside two lanes. I noticed the wet road which caused this first car to possibly hydroplane as it had been raining but had stopped. I realized I did not have any flashing lights in before of the the wrecked car to warn people if they were paying attention. I started to have fear with doubts! I looked right behind me to see Jess right there wanting to learn and help. In my fear and realization of what was going on, I yelled at her in a commanding voice to get back in the care where she would be safe! In those couple of minutes I doubted God could take care of us up there. I took my eyes off of oncoming traffic as I was assessing what was going on to make sure Jess was safely in the car and she was as she had ran back to the car. The guy was at a distance from his car. I heard no brakes but a loud crash to see the first car like a pool ball move out of the way and not my direction. Yet, the full size pickup was coming right at me as I was on the shoulder and I started to run the few steps remaining to the guard rail but truck was moving too fast. All I could say was a quiet "ooh" not a scream. I just in my head knew I had been with God since I was seven years old as a great peace consumed my body as the truck hit me and I ragged doll as I twisted and kept hitting the truck repeatedly as it started sliding sideways and hearing brakes as it made a "Dukes of Hazard" type stop a foot from the back of my car with Jess in it.

After the motion stopped, I praise God that I did not loose consc. and able to move and feel my toes as I felt the location of pain from parts of my body. I praise God for being alive and felt so "okay" compared to what I knew could have happened as I had went under the truck as it slid sideways and the tailgate came upon the concrete guard rail.

I did not officially cry out for God to help me vocally but my mind knew I had given myself to Jesus since I was seven. I did acknowledge I was God's as peace consumed me. I had such joy after the movement stopped that I was alive.

Apostle Peter was walking on water with full faith in Jesus. Yet, he too stopped to look around at what was actually going on as he took his eyes off Jesus with full faith focussed on Jesus. He began to sink in the water. Jesus who loves us reached out to Peter as Peter reached out to Jesus to save him from drowning. I have no doubt God reached down with His angels to help protect my life and ability to be able to help others on the street once again after Jesus heals me.

God has slowed me down a bit as I heal so I can spend more time in the Word to learn more about Faith and trust. I have choices in how I spend this time to heal and the attitude I will have. I have a choice to walk in Faith in God that He is going to take care of me or chose to doubt! God gives me freewill and the rest of the world to chose. I know He has kept me on this earth due to He has plans for me. I want to seek God to be able to prepare daily and find out as He lets me know what those plans are to be on this earth. He knows I have been praying for souls to come to Jesus in those I know! I pray to see them and more come in my lifetime. I pray to be able to encourage those who get frustrated with their relationship with Jesus as they are confused at times by what they see other "Christian" or "Christian leaders" do but words say different. Yet, nobody is perfect. God knows the motives of our heart as He is our Judge. It is always sad for me to to see one God has used get so discourage after a time to in ways turn their back on God and others condemn them for it instead of encouraging them back to Jesus. Yet, I know human pride gets in the way on both sides.

Peter was used as an example as Jesus pulled him from the water and back in the boat. The disciples could have had various reactions to this but Jesus was right there with them in person to keep them where they needed to be focussed and do. Peter had fear again later as he denied Jesus three times when the soldiers took Him. Yet, Peter was convicted of his denial of Jesus and repented of it. He did not give up and mope around about the mistake he made. He chose to beleive God would forgive him and he continued his relationship with Jesus. Peter learned through his mistakes and increased his faith instead of letting it discourage him into ineffectiveness of his own Faith in Jesus and what God could do through him the rest of his life.

Who did Jesus say He was going to build His church upon? He referred to Peter as a "rock"? Yes, this is the man that about drowned and denied Jesus three times? Oh, yes, in is passion to protect Jesus also drew a sword and cut a ear off those who tried to apprehend Jesus in the Garden as Jesus healed this man's ear! Is if by Faith not by human strength or man's weapons we fight the enemy with. It is our faith! Peter learned by his mistakes in trying to be all that for Jesus. He chose what his attitude was going to be like as he regained in faith and focus on Jesus in life. Jesus used Peter in might ways in the church after Jesus ascended.

We all can chose to be discouraged when we mess up or bad things happen. Yet, we can chose to learn from our mistakes and build our faith. Peter was willing to take a sword and defend Jesus from an army/angry mob who apprehended Jesus. His faith kept growing to do more! Yet, he stilled denied knowing Jesus 3 times just after that. Yet, Peter repented and chose to continue to learn from his mistakes to grow in faith!

We all have that choice! We all have that freewill to chose! Are we going to let others discourage us from our faith due to their actions or lack of actions? We are not to judge them, God is! We can encourage them back to rely on their faith letting them know God forgives! We don't have to live defeated lives consumed with guilt we can't get over! If God can forgive us, we can forgive ourselves too and move on in faith! Don't let the guilt of it what the enemy can help us believe defeat each of us in our faith! God is in control! Greater is He that is within us than he who is in this world!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Praise the Lord! Amen!

Mother's Day different this year too!

Mon, 12 May 2008 12:54:27 GMT

One thing our dear Mother can say is that we are not in a rut in how we celebrate her day. Just after midnight last year after she arrived at the airport after a delays in her flights from visiting our third sister states away, her other two daughters met her with flowers and took her to IHOP to celebrate Mother's day around 1:30 am! Then we kindly let her sleep after she arrived home from church a few hours later.

This year instead of the past norm, my Mother and sister came to my house since I have been declared temp. homebound by my Doctors! We ordered Pizza and had it delivered! Yet, it was nice to have visitors. I must thank a dear true friend Stacey to come over to my house to vacuum and straighten up prior to my family coming Sunday! She is a friend like a Sister who has helped me in so many ways I can't even say during this time. She even helped up in this way by having a nicer Mother's day with my family! Her help and encouragements have ripple effects.

Only God truly knows what next Mother's day will be like. Who knows? We may start doing Mother's Day suprizes just to keep excitement for my Mother. I was not quite able to get out get my Mother something special like I do like to do. I do spend time thinking of what would be practical yet fun! This year she told me she was happy that I was here to celebrate it. I guess the last couple of weeks have been out of the norm and life is a practical things. It is far more than that! Again, we don't let our Mother's life be boring! She does blame us for her color of her hair. We are three basically tame girls! We are not sons! Yet, at times, action adventure is not all for just sons!

My youngest sister come with her family in a couple of weeks to visit the area. Our Mother will get to see all of us within two weeks of Mother's Day! Hmmmmmmmm we are just spreading it out!!!!! I don't think our Mother minds if we spread out Mother's Day all year long with special things.

A Class Final on more than just Paper

Fri, 09 May 2008 10:29:33 GMT

Two weeks later, Jess finds herself witnessing another car accident right in front of her as she is the second car back from the busy intersection it happened. The lady infront not at all part of the accident jumps from the driver's seat immediately to the back seat that spurrs Jess's curiousity for such a move as she gets to see if the guy who was hit to the driver's side is okay. As she passes the car infront of her she sees the lady in the process of protecting a baby in the backseat with each one okay.

Learning from two weeks ago she encourages people to stay in their cars if they don't have medical training so they will be safer and not hit by other cars in the intersection as she sees several people calling 911 and yelling to others that is what they are doing. Fortunately the speed of the impact was not that fast due to the light had just turned and everybody observant expect the the one who was hit.

As Jess tells me about the accident after she got home from class and taking her final, she admits it was not easy at first to get out of the car to assist remembering seeing me hit by a full size truck on an overpass as we had stopped to render aid on a dark night with the road speed of 60 mph. Yet, she knew this guy needed help and make sure his neck was protected from movement or the pt. himself. This one was going to be injured. When first responding firefighters arrived she gave them a full consise report as they asked who she was as she was dressed in normal clothes. She informed them she was an EMT student on the way to class to take her final that night. Yet, one commented that she sounds like she has been around this stuff more than just a normal "student". She informs them that she lives with a Paramedic and drops my name as I have been working on the service for the last 14 years so I have worked with these men. EMS arrives soon and the information of who she is passed as they continue to allow her to assist in the call. She was small and fit into the sport coupe back seat with broken glass far easier that then men would that responded would have. She did have her class student name badge on her which further proved she was telling them the truth.

As the scene was being wrapped up the Firefighters and EMS told her to tell me they were praying for me. She was 20 min. late for class yet her instructor has a radio for the county as he is part of EMS headquarters. Sometimes, after calls that freak students out a bit they no longer want to pursue being an EMT as something to do. She was a bit freaked out after the accident two weeks ago after she saw me hit and thought dead as she saw me go under the truck with the speed of it all. Yet, she was able to put that behind her when it happened in front of her again. We both ask God to use us each day and she knows God is her strength to do what she does. She thought it was cool that the glass did not hurt her. God protects us in so many ways.

Yet, I learn things from her not even being on this call. She was able to continue to assist due to she appeared to them she knew what she was doing and dropped a names to prove where she learned what she knew. She used her skills instead of just talking about them. Yet, in our Christian life we do drop the name of Jesus Christ of who we are and we attend church where we learn more about Jesus Christ and grow in our personal relationship with Jesus if we have one or go through the motions and words of having one. The ones watching her observed her that she knew about what she was doing and could give a report of what was going on upon their arrival. Yes, she had a bad time of things two weeks ago but she did not let it stop her in following God to be used of Him again to assist another. She did not let a bad experience that scared her greatly keep her from doing what she was being trained to do and feeling led by God to do! Plus, she was on her way to take a paper test final but in ways she was taking a test of putting what she knew in actual application. She knew God would help her do it. The Police had come quickly and shut down the traffic so the scene was much safer!

For me, you spend time investing in people in various ways. She has happened to live with me for the last two years and has become like an adopted daughter to me. We have been accused of looking similiar by many so some actually think she is mine! To watch one grow and take what she learns and experience to be able to apply it without you there is encouraging to me. Dropping my name allowed her to be able to continue to help on that scene. Even if I was not with her, it still allowed her to help. In our Christian lives we work through Jesus Christ as his Name has more power as He is God of All! Jess did not let a bad experience keep her from continuing in God has called us to do. No, we may not be leaders in a church or ordained but God gives us all things to do on this earth. The question is will we continue to do them when things do seem to work out like we think they should! God is teaching Jess and I both during this time many things! I praise God for what is going on despite not knowing the answers to why's! That is faith and trust in the Lord to be open to learn and continue to encouraging others! Romans 8:28 (KJV) And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." She was tested far more than on a piece of paper last night! Praise God she chose to trust God and not be stopped by fear! How many times are we tested and don't even realize it!

Learning Dependance vs independance

Thu, 08 May 2008 05:53:17 GMT

(conti from previuos day) In few seconds I went from being the one trying to help another on a scene to help keep them safe as I was calling 911 dispatch on my cell phone to being the one needing the help. Yet as the impact hit my cell phone was gone from my ear and hand and was found after the impact on the trucks back bumper near the center where one would put a ball hitch. The phone was resting there without obvious damage a few inches from where my fingers would reach as somebody found it and handed it to me. I use to for years helping my patients not being a patient in need of help!

I was transported with the only fracture found being my lt knee cap(patella) with an open laceration requiring surg. in the morning as I was told that there was a lot of soft tissue injury. God had protected me from so many other possibilities of injury from that sort of impact. No fractures to my back or hips as bruising and swelling started! As I felt my back side I thought about the Proverb " For whom the Lord loveth he correcteth, even as a father the son in whom he delighteth" 3:12. My parents did not believe in sparing the rod growing up as my Mother had made that area painful many times while growing up when my Father was out working on the farm. My body was sore all over as time passed. Yet, again, I was happy to be alive and knew God wanted me on this earth for a reason as this could be a lesson in life that will help me further down the road. Iknow God does want the best for me and is fair in His dealings. Yet, I don't understand things at times.

How many times, do I think I'm in control of my life like the scenes at work I work? Over and over in the Bible "Trust in the Lord". Trusting the Lord is being dependant upon Him to take care of me. No it does not mean I sit on the couch eating Bon Bons waiting on God to do it. Yet, it is about a dependance in seeking the Lord daily using my freewill to chose this instead of going other directions. Life gets busy and was I seeking as much as I should be for God to direct my steps? Had I become too busy? I still have many questions I'm asking and learning things other than the questions I may ask.

Yet, being injured, home bound by Doctors for awhile due to issues in healing allows me to no be independant. Being in the hospital those days with limited movement as my overbody was healing from soft tissue injures as it continues to do so now. Basic life activities, I needed help with which were things I took for granted I did daily. Yet, I still knew God protected me from so many other injuires and death. He has a plan for my life and I have time to study in the Word and pray to discover more of it and prepare my heart for it more.

How many people I know do not know what will happen to them when they die? How many more am I still on earth for God to allow me to encourage? I will only learn answers to questions by being dependant on God not my own independance thinking I'm in control of things. We all can slip into it despite seeking to Trust the Lord fully. We are instructed to pick up the cross daily, pray without ceasing, rejoice, forgive, and many more as I know I can improve in all of those. God gave me freewill to chose each action I do and for who's glory it is for!

Being slowed down, I'm able to learn more about faith and dependance on the Lord to trust Him that much more with more of my life that I seem to keep taking back in a tug a war at times. I'm learning more trust and being able to listen better. Yet, so far to go! I praise God for those praying for me as God is answering those prayers! I praise God for healing me! I'm learning/reminded to ask my Heavenly Father to help me in functions of daily life I never actually thought about asking Him to help me before. "In all things" has taken on a new meaning! When I am weak, He is strong! Praise the Lord!

Consuming Peace

Wed, 07 May 2008 06:04:53 GMT

What is one's reaction to impending impact to one's body of a full size Chevy pickup near road speed? Mine was a quiet "oh" I whispered as a consuming peace released itself in my body just a moment before impact realizing my running the away was futile as I looked back to see and feel the impact. I was on an elevated highway and the rail only offered an aprox. 20ft. drop with a possible concrete landing.

Did my life pass before my eyes? No! I just felt the impact to my back side as I was then pushed but somehow twirled to be struck again by the passenger side mirror to my forehead and repeatedly hit again along the side of the truck as the back of the truck started sliding sideways as with time I went under the truck before the tailgate hit the concrete railing. I remember going under the truck with my head again brushing concrete as the space closed in. I stopped sliding as the truck stopped too. I felt pain allover but mainly to my low back, backside/hips and left leg not moving normal. I knew I should not move further as I made and watched my toes move!

I praised God for being alive and started yelling for those who could hear, "I'm okay!" "I'm okay!" I was fully alert and could move my toes! Joy abounded in me knowing God preserved my life from this! Peace turned into on of the deepest joys of my life despite pain I was in! Pain let me know I was alive! Pain felt good in this way! Pain meant I was living! The level of pain God helped with! Plus, right then I was so excited to find out why God had me still on this earth in the days/years to come!

I praised God further to find out no one else was injured! My goal for stopping was complete! They guy in the first car was safe! Others not injured! I know God will be taking care of me! Yet, I had not expected to be injured! Yet, what was God's plan in this?

When the impact hit I thought to myself in the peace, "God I have been with you since I was seven" but the repeated impacts stopped my thought. I did not think or say any thing inspiring as others might see it.

Yet, we all have been through rough times in life in some shape or form Jesus helps us with! He is there for us and at times we can't always see Him working in our lives! We take it forgranted at times or even frustrated on what is going on. He is truly there for us as the Bible tells us over and over! Scriptures can flood each of our minds as God shows Himself to us in them! I just knew I needed Jesus in this! He gave me a peace which I know must have relaxed me in this as He protected me and moved me through it. God protected others on that scene from injury! Praise the LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!