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Friday, August 15, 2008

  • Hello all!
    So my midweek post- as so often the case- didn't happen. Sorry about that and hope you understand.
    Last week was pretty good overall, taking it one day at a time. And this week.. has been fairly busy so that is always good, it keeps your mind focused on something somewhat constructive if you know what I mean.
    Right now I am faced with the choice of weather to stay here in Oregon until December or return home on the 9th of September. It would be helpful to stay here longer and keep my sister-in-law company, but on the other hand I miss my family and friends back home in Michigan. This chapter of my life consists of some rather daunting choices for the future.. or my future. Do I go to school or work and go to school- or travel, or mission work... God's plan is not very clear at the moment, but that is standard God- always keeping us guessing.. or rather trusting and waiting for His timing. As much as I would love to see the game plan.. I have a feeling that if I did, and noted all of the trials and tribulations, suffering and pain ahead-- I would surely run, or at least avoid them if possible thus bypassing the wonderful things that the Father teaches us through these times and 'rough spots' in our walk.
    So then again I am quite thankful that I can't see the map-- taking it one day at a time and waiting on the Guide to talk me through it.
    Right now... I wait. I wait on the Lord- my soul waits for His divine direction.
    Much easier said than done..

    What sort of thing caused you to choose the path you have taken? How did you decide your future plans?
    (for collage and what not..)

    Prayer would be lovely! And I hope you all have a wonderful weekend full of the blessings of the Father!
    As always with prayer,
    AnDy

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

  • [How Deep The Father's Love]

    How deep the Father's love for us,
    How vast beyond all measure
    That He should give His only Son
    To make a wretch His treasure

    How great the pain of searing loss,
    The Father turns His face away
    As wounds which mar the chosen One,
    Bring many sons to glory

    Behold the Man upon a cross,
    My sin upon His shoulders
    Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
    Call out among the scoffers

    It was my sin that held Him there
    Until it was accomplished
    His dying breath has brought me life
    I know that it is finished

    I will not boast in anything
    No gifts, no power, no wisdom
    But I will boast in Jesus Christ
    His death and resurrection

    Why should I gain from His reward?
    I cannot give an answer
    But this I know with all my heart
    His wounds have paid my ransom


    W    e sang this hymn Sunday while I was at a church that I visited while in Seattle. I had not heard it in such a long time, the lyrics really touched me. Hope that it is a blessing to you as well!

    [actual 'update' post to come later this week]

    AnDy

Thursday, July 31, 2008

  • Earlier this week I received a phone call from Julie, at the Eugen Health Center. She had called to give me some news that I had been anxiously awaiting. The news that the blood test results had come back from the lab and they came back clean.
    I am HIV- .

    Thank You Jesus.
    As greatly appreciated as that news was, the fact that I had to go and be tested was slightly... i don't know.. shaming.
    It has almost been three months to date since I mad the decision to go into the relationship with Christopher.
    A whirlwind of events that are frankly a blur to me-- what caused me to break? I only wish I knew my exact thought process, you know? momentary laps of judgment? If only i could plead that. I went into my first relationship with all the energy that I had, so much of my heart. Which made the breaking process even harder.

    The worst part of it, the pain that I caused him and also the pain that I caused my family.. who I might add has  been my backbone, my support through all of this.
    God got a hold of me in a painful way, breaking me down to my core until I had nothing more of myself left.
    No more hard heart.. because my heart was in pieces on the ground. That is when He told me..again.. that this wasn't the life he had for me-- but it really wasn't that even, but the realization  that  no desire of mine was ever worth losing my relationship with God-- because a life without Christ, is a life without hope. and a life without hope...
    is it even worth living?
    i would have to say.. no.

    Breaking up with Chris was a really difficult thing for me to do because I had invested so much into the relationship. And it was what my human self really wanted-- He didn't take it well and bombarded me with text/calls/messages trying to convince me that I was making the biggest mistake of my life. I was fine ignoring the calls and what not- but if I saw him in person, he had this funny way of changing my mind as to what I really wanted.
    God created an awesome 'out' in the situation for which I am truly thankful. I was blessed with the oppertunity  get away for a while..  two and a half month in Eugene Oregon staying with my sister-in-law while my brother was gone working. She is an awesome woman whom I really hadn't gotten the chance to get to know. My brother was my roll model growing up, the perfect guy who could do no wrong. He sat me down and told me about the sexual sin in his life which he tried to deal with by himself that almost cost his marriage. Sarah his wife has been my accountability- my shoulder to cry on.
    Sure enough I still hurt-- feeling the daily stinging of consequences that I have to live with.

    So now you have a little bit of an idea of where i am coming from.. fighting to except God's forgiveness when  there is so much self-condemnation. but day by day... bit by bit.. i am gaining ground. trying to wrap my head around a love so unfailing.. crazy.

    Prayer is always welcome and greatly appreciated .
    thank you all for the prayer-- couldn't do without it :)

    AnDy


Monday, July 28, 2008

  • Isaiah 55

    Invitation to the Thirsty
     1 "Come, all you who are thirsty,

           come to the waters;
           and you who have no money,
           come, buy and eat!
           Come, buy wine and milk
           without money and without cost.

     2 Why spend money on what is not bread,
           and your labor on what does not satisfy?
           Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
           and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.

     3 Give ear and come to me;
           hear me, that your soul may live.
           I will make an everlasting covenant with you,
           my faithful love promised to David.

     4 See, I have made him a witness to the peoples,
           a leader and commander of the peoples.

     5 Surely you will summon nations you know not,
           and nations that do not know you will hasten to you,
           because of the LORD your God,
           the Holy One of Israel,
           for he has endowed you with splendor."

     6 Seek the LORD while he may be found;
           call on him while he is near.

     7 Let the wicked forsake his way
           and the evil man his thoughts.
           Let him turn to the LORD, and he will have mercy on him,
           and to our God, for he will freely pardon.

     8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
           neither are your ways my ways,"
           declares the LORD.

     9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth,
           so are my ways higher than your ways
           and my thoughts than your thoughts.

     10 As the rain and the snow
           come down from heaven,
           and do not return to it
           without watering the earth
           and making it bud and flourish,
           so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,

     11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
           It will not return to me empty,
           but will accomplish what I desire
           and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

     12 You will go out in joy
           and be led forth in peace;
           the mountains and hills
           will burst into song before you,
           and all the trees of the field
           will clap their hands.

     13 Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree,
           and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
           This will be for the LORD's renown,
           for an everlasting sign,
           which will not be destroyed."

       be blessed in the coming week!

    AnDy

    [p.s thank you all for the encouraging comments. i am so blessed by you all]

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

  • hello there-
                 it's me..
                           yes, it has been too long.

    could we, perhaps, take a little walk.. talk for a bit.
       
        you see.. the places i have been- have been less than pleasant. that proverbial fence they speak of.. i road it. and walked it. and jumped over it.. man, it is no place for children. hah nor grown ups either.
    the memories of that place in my life--- on the wrong side of the fence are forever etched into my memory..
            
    i. have. been. broken. bloodied. bruised. given. my. self. away. strayed. disobeyed. lied. ran. as. far. and. as. fast. hidden. my. face. so. full. of. shame. let. me. just. die. not. worthy. am. i. cannot. look. straight. into. the. face. of. an. angry. mighty. just. God.

    for. i. am. the. sinner. i. am. the. prodigal.
         nothing. can. i. bring.  nothing. is. required.

    He    . is.
                       and. i. am.
                                    ...forgiven.
    Psalm 32:1-2
    [     1 Blessed is he
           whose transgressions are forgiven,
           whose sins are covered.

     2 Blessed is the man
           whose sin the LORD does not count against him
           and in whose spirit is no dec    eit.]



                                      A.n.D.y

When_the_loons_call

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    • Name: AnDy
    • Gender: Male
    • Member Since: 1/6/2007

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  • Hey! I'm AnDy. I'm just a guy trying to discern God's will in my life... but I do know that no matter what life throws at you, God is always faithful. He is a refuge in times of trouble. And will always take you back- no matter what we have done.

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