Well there are times when people enter your life and leave them whether it be because of stupid mistakes on your part or upon others. I have lost a lot of people due to my own decisions I have made in my life. It's hard to look at yourself in the mirror only to be faced with something that is staring back at you that isn't even recognizeable. I have loved people and people have loved me, but to have to let go of something that you love so much because of a stupid decision you made sucks even more.

To anyone who hides behind a smile
To anyone who holds their pain inside
To anyone who thinks they're not good enough
To anyone who feels unworthy of love
To anyone who ever closed the door
Closed their eyes and locked themselves away

You don't have to hide
You don't have to hide anymore
You don't have to face this on your own
You don't have to hide anymore

So come out, come out, come out wherever you are
To anyone who's tryin' to cover up their scars
To anyone who's ever made a big mistake
We've all been there, so don't be ashamed
Come out, come out and join the rest of us
You've been alone for way too long

And if you feel like no one understands
Come to the One with scars on His hands
'Cause He knows where you are, where you've been
His scars will heal you if you let Him.

This reminds me that no matter what bigmistakes I make I know Jesus is always there to pick me up again, only if I let Him. 

i want to see my scooter... i miss him. he's been busy lately with a lot of stuff. but, it's okay i go to work tomorrow at 5 so hopefully i will see him before then. i can't seem to go to bed early, like ever. sometimes i wish i could sing like really strong. kinda like kelly clarkson belts it out. maybe it's there within me i just have to let it out lol. i have begun to save money for my ticket YAY! like a whole $108.61. I am actually proud of myself. God has been using me lately in other people's lives like the past couple of days I have been blessed with the opportunity to encourage others, I love being able to sit down with someone and encourage them in their faith. it's a great thing the things that you can share with someone by just talking to them. imagine what it would be like if you couldn't speak. i don't think i would like that. my voice is my tool i use to express how i feel besides dancing or writing poetry. which i should write some more.

i look at my life and think what will come of it?

who will I be?

where will God carry me?

there isn't a dotted line to sign on a contract.

it's not like i have to do these things i do.

but in order to be happy, and to live i must.

to trust in the lord and know him more

give him my heart and mind freely

for the pain and sins he bled and bore for me

i must trust.

i must see.

i must be all that i can in times of miserable company.

the land is wide, but the path is narrow that i walk.

i hear rumours of talk

of who i once was and am now percieved to be

yet they don't know the truth

for the choices i made were in stupidity of youth.