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| War of the Worlds: Another Tom Cruise Stinker
I posted this on The Other Dark Place this morning, but now I give you the extended version of my rant...
Dan and I saw this over the weekend, and I've given this movie some thought (prolly more than I should).
As soon as the movie finished, I thought, "Wow, that wasn't bad at
all." Then I got to thinking about it. In fact, I woke my sorry
ass up at 4 am thinking about it.
1) The first hour and a half dragged by and it was filled with a bunch
of useless information that didn't propel the story forward. Like when
Tom Cruise and his children are in his ex-wife's kitchen and he's
making peanut butter sandwiches. Through 15 minutes of blah blah blah,
we find out his daughter has a peanut allergy. Especially since
it was shown in the beginning of the movie that she ordered out, and it
was natural foods. Correct me if I'm wrong, don't natural food
places use peanut oil in a lot of their foods? And yeah yeah
yeah, he is a shitty father. He's a working man, by God!
The action didn't really
start until they discover what the aliens are doing (and we still don't
know exactly what that was). And even then it
really didn't. The scenes with Tim Robbins was a waste, and it's
about 30 minutes that I will never get back. I guess he's good at
that psycho look...he's been married to Susan Sarandon for awhile now.
2) Why did the aliens plant their tripods all over (especially
that they would plant them in an over-populated area such as NYC, looking into the future, I mean)
millions of years ago when they could've just vaporized several
thousand dinosaurs and could've been done with it.
3) Was blood just an afterthought? How did the aliens know they were
going to use SO much blood millions of years ago? And what the
fuck were they doing with it? Growing vegetables? Looked
like tubers to me!
4) And why the tractor scene? A tripod out of nowhere says,
"Hell, this is a good a place as any to suck this guy's blood out of his
gut with my nasty looking blood-sucking gizmo." I was not
impressed.
5) Why did they suddenly die in the end? "Wow, Look it's
birds! Their defenses are down! We won!" It's like
someone hit me right in the head with a brick. The climax was too
fast. It's like not being able to get your pants down fast enough
for sex. And even dry humping is more exciting than that.
6) When Tom Cruise "dropped his kids off" at their grandparents' house,
why did it look like they had just eaten Christmas dinner? They had
electricity, and they looked clean and happy. Why did the aliens spare
an uppity suburb in Boston? The mother's face was creased with
worry, sure, but that part ruined the whole movie for me. "Wow,"
the director says, "the movie is up to three hours long, let's cut all
the interesting stuff in the last half and leave Tom Cruise's boring
characterization in first half."
7) How the hell did Tom Cruise's son, Robbie, make it back so
soon? WTF? Didn't he blow the hell up? Did he hitch a
ride on a tripod and get the hell out of that field?
All in all, I gave it a thumbs down. I was really
disappointed. Normally, I don't say much about a movie, but this
one really sucked all the life out of me. I feel like sending Tom
Cruise a PayPal bill for the $4.95 it cost me to rent this trainwreck.
The more I think about this fucking movie, the more I want to yank every last hair out of my head.
Jesu Christe.
~Susan
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| The Pinnacle of Success
I was driving my son through the Burger King drive thru the other night and I realized one thing. To have action figures made out of your book that was made into a movie would be the pinnacle of success. This really only holds true if you're George Lucas or a children's author.
It's playing out at my head now. I can see all those little kids who want the kid's meal just because they want a toy of one of our characters. Little Bethie with the long red hair, Josh with the green eyes and funky hair, or even Michaela, the angelic being. Now that would be cooler than cool.
We're still awaiting on a verdict from Random House. I got an email from my "contact" there and he said that he'd have an answer to us before December 21. The day of reckoning. I'm nervous! I'm sure Dan is, too! Ack! Like I said before, even if they don't accept it, that's fine. At least it was worthy enough for the folks at RH to take another look at it. If they don't take it, we were invited to send it to Scholastic. I'm sure with the end of the Harry Potter books coming up, they are probably looking into children's series novels right now to fill the gap that's looming.
My stomach hurts just thinking about it.
Or maybe it was the upsetting article in Dan0oo's Xanga that made my tummy ache.
http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=Dan0oo
I guess either way, my stomach is doomed to pain me for the rest of the day. :)
~Susan
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| THE END OF THE WORLD IS NIGH, WHICH MEANS I WON'T GET TO SEE THE SECOND SEASON OF HOUSE M.D.
Along with all the thanks I gave over Thanksgiving, I also got another little morsel of news from my Mommy the other day. She tells me the end of the world is coming. Well, maybe not. She said her brother, his wife, in-laws, and their church, The Missionary Baptist Church of Bum Fucked Egypt Oklahoma, have all been praying for Armegeddon. I'm so thrilled. And here I thought I was dying of a deadly disease (after watching too much House M.D.) like meningitis or a myocardial infarction, and they're gonna spare me the pain and agony of a lumbar puncture or a spleen biopsy. I'm glad I don't have to sign that DNR after all.
I love how these people DECIDED to make this HUGE decision of monumental proportions. I guess they think the world getting too sinful. Wow, and we were getting to the good stuff. Britany Spears must be too much for the old cow's ticker. Or how about the evil X-Box? Rated V for Violence. I wonder if they're waiting for a Cabbage Patch Doll to get possessed like they did in the eighties. Nip it, nip it in the bud!
I'm truly bummed now after thinking about it. I guess I'll never find out if House and Cameron have hot, wild, monkey sex. I guess I'll never know if that customer from NYC ever decided to buy that expensive set. I guess I'll never know how much fun WHC could've been and how drunk I would've gotten with Wenchie and Bloody. These people have really saved me a lot of:
1) Pain 2) Agony 3) Guesswork.
THANKS A MILLION!!! It is so appreciated that mere words can't describe my elation.
Now seriously, folks, what kind of person in their right mind asks God to end the world? Are their lives just so horrible that they can't stand it anymore? Are they so worried about what other people are doing that they can't function properly? I guess it must be difficult for the leader of the church (my uncle's mother-in-law from hell) to pay those prices at the pump for her Lincoln Navigator or the heating bill for that five bedroom, 4,000 square foot house they live in. (I guess all that praying is going unheeded.)
Life is so hard sometimes.
**** NOTE: I'm not making fun of church or religion or spiritual people here. I promise. I respect all religions. I'm just making fun of a small group in particular.
~Susan | | |
| Happy Belated Turkey Day!
I had such a wonderful day yesterday. Even though I couldn't spend it with my son (he was at his grandparents with his father), I spent it with another amazing individual. Dan and I had a great day yesterday, had a great meal, and had a great time.
I enjoy his company SO much. :)
Nothing much else to report. Gotta start thinking Christmas Shopping. I think I'll let the fervor die down some before I traipse out to get my goodies. Not much can be spent this year since I'm catching up with my bills since I was out for a week when my father died and the week I went on vacation thinking I had more vacation time, but in reality, had only three days. I'm glad E. is still in that little kid stage that he'll be happy with a lot of little stuff. He's got a ton of things, but could use some more! Like Hot Wheels tracks. And more cars for those tracks. I might get him some extender tracks for his train. I bought all the big stuff last year so there's really nothing to get now but add-ons. I may even get him another Playstation game, but can't decide because he's SO into it and needs a break.
I think I will get a real Christmas tree this year but haven't figured out how to get it from Point A to Point B. If I can't get the logistics worked out, then I'll be forced to get a fake one. Oh well, such is life. Believe it or not, I'm in the mood to put up the Christmas tree already. That just means I'll have to take all the Halloween stuff down. Can you tell I haven't been at home much?
This work schedule is killing me. I'm lucky on one hand that I can bring my son to work with me. On the other hand (the one with six fingers), I'd much rather be hanging out with the monkey at home. He's such a wonderful child. I'm so proud of him. One thing that really makes me happy is the fact that he's happy and well-adjusted in spite of the divorce. I firmly believe that it's the way you act in front of your child that makes all the difference. I try to stay as upbeat as possible and shed everything in a very positive light. I've never been a pessimist (although I've had my moments), and I think that reflects on the child who I love dearly. With all my heart. More than anything in the world.
He's my little man. :)
~Susan | | |
| If you all haven't checked it out yet, please stop on over for a visit at our (me, Dan0oo and John Burks) message board The Other Dark Place.
http://p103.ezboard.com/ftheotherdarkplacefrm12
It's very interesting over there right now. Plus, in the Midnighter thread, you might learn a thing or two from Biledragon and Nick Mamatas (whatever you do, DON'T click on this man's porn site link...it's grosser than gross) about writing and the publishing industry.
One thing I've learned: I read on a second grade reading level. hahaha
~Susan
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