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| One Final TimeI'm saying this for the last time.
Knock it the fuck off...all of you.
Mandy - I understand deffending yourself...and I know we've already talked about all of this...so I don't have anything to say to you.
Liz - Listen, you put yourself into it...you gave everyone the wrong idea now. Mandy defended herself, and yes, she insulted you, but you insulted her too...she was only responding to that. She was done, until you said something to Nate...And how could you not think she wouldn't say anything back? Mandy is an outgoing person and has very strong oppinions. Because you said something, you got it all started up again.
Nate - Thank you for trying to be civil about it after awhile...thank you. I AM still allowed to talk to you...I will talk to you because I want to still talk to you...that is if you still would like that. Mandy was wrong to insult your family, and I was really mad about it ... it actually made me kind of sick to my stomach. Mandy's mom got on her case about it too. It won't happen again, and Mandy IS sorry for it.
Sam - You're done with me, I'm done with you. Forever, no buts about it.
Jason - You and Mandy stopped argueing all together...so I guess it really doesn't matter now...
Sarah and Michelle - Mandy didn't say Liz was ugly...she said "it seems to me that your only problems are that you're ugly and a slut, so you say" SO YOU SAY, that would be the main words.
Fuck mandy ... fuck mandy ... Yeah that's right...FUCK MANDY!
What the fuck? Mandy is not trying to put anyone down. She just likes to have the last word in things.
This all has gotten out of control. This whole thing isn't about Liz and who said what...it's not about whether Liz feels bad or not. It's not about "fuck Mandy." It's been about what SARA IS ALLOWED TO DO..............Do you understand those words? REPEAT AFTER ME: T-H-I-S I-S A-B-O-U-T W-H-A-T S-A-R-A I-S A-L-L-O-W-E-D T-O D-O!!!!
I want no more after this. None. | | |
| I don't give a flying fuck anymoreOkay, so this is it: Mandy and Me
that's it. That's the way it is. I'm with Mandy, and I can't see you guys anymore; Nate, Elisa, Jason, Jesse. I'm sorry it happened, but it did. I'm not going to complain about it anymore, because it just drags it out. It's done and over with. I dont mean to be so brutal, but what else is there to do.
Mandy may not have wanted me to hang out with some of you even if it weren't for the current situation, but I would still want to. She doesn't control my damn brain. But the situation DID happen, and now we have the results. Stop fucking blaming her for everything. It was my choice to choose her. I'm tired of all this shit. So now this is final.
I'm done.
Hate me all you want, I don't care anymore. Your life is not my business anymore, and mine is not yours either.
We all have to move on. That's life. | | |
| ChaosIn two days I'll be leaving to go to the beach.
I'm excited to get away from just this area for a bit, well not this area in itself, but mainly the problems that lye around here.
It's just I'm tired of it all.
I want my friends, but I'm not allowed to have them.
And Mandy I'm tired of you always saying "well then go back to them, leave me"
Just because I feel bad that I dont have my friends anymore, doesn't mean that I just want to give up on YOU. You said you understand, because it's happened to you, then stop acting like I don't love you, I obviously do. I'm sick of it. I didn't do anything to you that should make you think that I would leave you. Of course I tried to see my friends before, they're my friends, i didnt WANT to loose them. Don't you think you would've done the same thing if you had the opportunity last year? I tried and I'm done trying...so just trust me. The only reason we wouldn't work out is because I would get tired of you always, always ALWAYS doubting me. I know people have done things to you before, and it's hard for you to trust, but what you don't realize is that I'm a totally different person, don't you understand that? I'm not like the people you used to hang out with. I'm someone else, I'm Sara, and you know me perfectly well, don't judge me by the way other people have acted towards you in the past. It's not fair for me.
I just, depressed...mainly because if I'm friends with someone that does something bad, that automatically means that I do it too. All of this just makes me feel like...I have no control over my life, and who's in it. And basically, I don't...I don't have any control. I mean, there are certain areas I can understand as to why I shouldn't hang out with them; drugs................ok, yeah, drugs. That's it. And I know for a fact that if I told them not to smoke around me what-so-ever, they wouldn't. I know I wouldn't smoke with them. I don't want to get in trouble. But it's just not fair that I'm being peanalized for something other people do. I have no friends now, all the 'friends' I have at this point couldn't care two shits about me. They'll talk to me of course, but out of all of them, who would actually take time out to actually try to hang out with me ... not just ask but actually plan, and actually try. Who would actually go out of their way to keep me as their friend?
My real friends- I know they would do ANYTHING for me. They would go to hell and back for me, and that is more than what I can say about anyone that would try to replace them. They were true friends. They were with me, they helped me along. They made me stronger, and now they aren't even allowed to talk to me anymore. It's just so surreal...
Well I guess that's enough of venting for today.
I'm sure I'm going to have some angry people after reading this.
But...whatever...I just needed to let that out.
Mandy, I do love you, you should know that...and if you don't then you might as well just leave me now, because after all of this...everything that has happened, for you to not believe me...that's just bull. You can be mad at me for writing this entry, but that would make you a liar. You told me you understood, and if you really do...why would you get mad at me for feelings that I have? I can't help it, and you know that. You know what it's like. If you really love me like you say you do, then you will stick right by me and help me be strong again, just like you have been doing. I love you | | |
| Hey all..
I'm doing what i normally do...hang out with Mandddaaaaay!!! 
Today we are going to see Superman and hang out at Walmart...and have McDonalds. Yes
Next weekend Mandy, Me, and my parents are going to the beach for the weekend! I'm really exited! Well, I guess I shouldn't have updated cuz I gotta go now, because i have to get dressed and what not.
Welll bye. | | |
| Rains in AsiaSo .. i really miss my sister.
I miss ... a lot of things.
I can't sleep tonight for some reason. It might have something to do with the fact that I fell asleep during the day and sometimes that means I can't sleep at night...i feel kind of depressed but I don't know what to do about it. I'm bored, but I have nothing really to do ..
as a matter a fact, I really don't feel like writing this anymore. | | |
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