and you know every word i'm going to say before i even have a chance to speak. these days begin and don't end for weeks. every night's another struggle and each day brings results of a fierce battle between myself and my addictions. yesterday i layed in bed all day because i didn't have the strength to move. i haven't slept in 4 days and i don't feel the least bit tired. i am writing to you now in hopes that you know that i'm thinking of you. i never meant for my actions to affect you the way they did, and i want you to know that i had no intention of ever hurting you. i am sorry. i only wish that being sorry could fix things, but i'm afraid that it cannot. i still remember those nights when you'd come over and we'd sit under the streetlight together, and i would tell you that tomorrow i would stop using and we'd move to california, you always wanted to go there. i remember saying how i would take surfing lessons with you and get a job in the city; i promised that everything was going to work out, and that one day, we'd be okay. i think you knew then that every word i spoke was created with false hopes. i loved that you pretended to believe me though because it helped me believe myself. you were what saved me thousands of times from giving it all up, from leaving this cold dark world, and still to this day i gaze at your photograph and remember all the days we spent together, and how they meant everything to me and still do. i'm afraid to kill myself now because of fear that tomorrow i might find you at my door step. i check to see everyday.

and you fall apart.

   for those of you that still visit my site, thank you. for those of you that don't, i hope you will come back.

..I know you well enough to know you never loved me...

todays theme; plants nd flowers.
no icons because i'll be posting pictures of my own. later.

[[deviantart photos;]]

Currently Listening Transatlanticism By Death Cab for Cutie see related

..I'd rather chew on broken glass, then keep on living in the past..

okie so, i'm not putting that many icons on here at least for now. nnd the photography is going to be put in categories, for example, todays; architecture.

[[this one's my favorite]]

<3
the end.

** i don't take credit for any of these photographs. [[ deviantart.com ]] and i'm not sure who made the icons, or i'd give them credit as well. **

you subscribe to me, i subscribe to you. you comment me, i comment you back. deal?

I'm thinking about coming back, re-doing things.

what do you guys think?