It's Shannon's birthday.  My heart hurts.  I can't ask "why?" anymore.  She's still with me, and I can hug her in my dreams, but gosh, what I wouldn't give for a real hug, or 5 seconds of laughter.  One day,,,one day we'll be back together.

I feel so old and defeated.   If we could only go back, when the biggest drama was who was sitting with who in the cafeteria, or who was holding hands in the halls.  Actually, now that I think about it, the cafeteria at work stresses me out now.  But it is fun to look for the young single men in the hallway :)

Life is ok, it really is, I have a new routine, but its just ok.  I want the thrills again.   I tried to jump out of a plane twice in the last month, but the weather has cancelled both attempts.  Maybe it is God's way of telling me I don't need those kind of thrills, maybe the ok should become my great.

2.5 months in the apartment, and today I finally have furniture,,,,and full internet access.  I love my new loveseat.  It's Red.  And Microsuede.  I think it's pretty sexy. haha.  I just pray Dixie doesn't destroy it.  I already lectured her about staying off it,,,yes, I talk to my dog,,,,and I pretend that she fully understands me. 

Work.  Work is work. I feel like I've sold my soul, but I don't know what else to be doing to not feel that way right now, so, I guess I'll take it.  From 8-5ish everyday I reside in a 6x8 cubicle (of which most is desk space).  Its interesting working in IT.  I have two mentors,  one works in GA, the other in Brazil.  3 months ago I never would have thought I'd spend a couple hours a day to someone so far away.

It's hard to make friends.  Its pretty sad.  Everyone I work with is middle aged, married and have children, which is fine, but not quite the social group I was looking for.  My coworkers that I was in training with this summer were mostly around my age, but now they have gone back to their separate corners of the continent. 

I'm happy, this weekend was exactly what I needed, just to relax.  Last night and the night before were the first nights in 2 months that I haven't woken up in the middle of the night.  Stress/allergies/asthma got the best of me, but hopefully it will eventually settle down.

I'm pretty happy. 

I've decided that I don't like the "real world".

I've wanted to quit twice in the 9 days of training that I've had.  I also now fully understand the purpose of Happy Hour.  I'm sure had I been working all through college, and used to having people in my face, literally "bossing" me around every minute of the work day, this wouldn't be all that bad. 

I operate off of encouragement not so much on harsh criticism.  Just 3 more weeks, and then I'll actually be in the office working under my real supervisor.  My actual supervisor seems to be the kindest, nurturing person, and I think once I'm working under her, I will feel much more motivated. 

On the other hand, I absolutely love the new loft! Well, I did until the 5 o'clock news tonight that notified me that my parking garage had 13 cars broken into last night!  (This is a time that I'm glad I drive a 12 year old car, and park next to a BMW, haha).  So much for security.  I can't believe so much went on so close, and I didn't even notice when I left this morning! 

I've been in a bad mood for about 2 weeks straight.  I hope this goes away soon! 

I'm really looking forward to this weekend though! I figured out that Whitney lives about 5 miles away!  I think I'm going to go to church with her on Sunday too!  Church,,,,,now that's a good idea.

(I won't have internet access for another two weeks at my loft,,,,that's like a death sentance for an I.T. person!  Hopefully the next time I update I will have better things to say!  )

Currently Watching Ratatouille By Patton Oswalt, Adam Scott, Brian Dennehy, Lou Romano, Janeane Garofalo see related

In the words of the great Roger Creagor (I get to see him this week!), "Things look good around here."

I've spent the last two weeks house sitting for my brother and sister-in-law.  It was supposed to be 2 weeks of doing nothing but sun bathing by the pool and playing with the dogs, but due to the excessive rain, its been 2 weeks of watching tv and controlling 3 cabin fever stricken dogs.  I find it amusing that both my dog and one of their dogs are named after bars, Dixie (dixie chicken) and Adair (adair's saloon), how Aggie of us.  Adair's boredom is getting out of hand; last night I walked in to find that she had completely shredded a bra and a pair of shorts.  Its funny to me now, but last night, not so much.  **Edit (As i was writing this, i saw Adair come in here with something in her mouth,,,,I then found my Nike shoe, shredded to bits.  ARRRRGGGG!) 

This past weekend, I signed my official paperwork with my new job, and picked up my company laptop, hehe, how official!  I also signed a lease for the coolest apartment ever.  Its directly across from my new job, and its an "urban apartment", meaning its studio and loft apartments that are really expensive, which is why I now live in a apartment about the same size as a dorm room, yikes!  They're so cool though!  Along with the lofts there is a strip of very ritzy boutiques, bars and bistros.  Last Sunday I drove by the area to find that every other car was a Mercedes or BMW, even the occasional Farrari.   You know I love pulling up next to them in my 95 civic, haha.   I guess its just very much close to the fantasy dreams I've had of living in NYC.  However, these are cheaper, cleaner, safer, and closer. I'm really looking forward to it!

Not much else is going on, I'll start the new job, or the next phase in my life, next Monday.  Its all very exciting and very scary at the same time.

Please say a prayer for my brother, sister-in-law and their church group.  They're flying back tomorrow from Europe, but they are in the area that the car bomb was earlier today.  I'll be very relieved to see them at DFW tomorrow night!

The stormy clouds have passed.

Last week, I walked 26 miles.  I started walking a nature trail that runs throughout my hometown.  The first day, I got caught in a thunder storm 1.5 miles away from my car, needless to say, I was soaked.  The next time, I completed the full 7.5 mile trail,,,,two days later I did it again.  I also walked 3-4 miles a day around my neighborhood.  It was refreshing.  I haven't been back this week, but let me tell you why:

-Last Tuesday, as I hit 5.5 of my 7.5 mile trip, I recieved a phone call, from a very prestigious company, offering me a position in their company!  I hesitate to mention who with, because I don't want it to show up in a google, but basically, in the Information Technology field, they are #1.  I'm still in shock, never in my dreams would I have expected them to want me.  I'm truely Blessed!  When I interviewed with them 2 weeks ago, it was the first time, that I truely wanted the position, the fact that it was with that particular company was just the icing on the cake, really good icing at that.  Anyhow, I know I will be married to this job, and I'm really going to have to step it up to keep it, but this is such a huge blessing, I don't even know how to express it.  The official offer/acceptance didn't take place until today, although I think most of the PBX girls already knew (it was too hard to keep it under wraps!)

The next conquest is living situations.  Its 60+ miles from my parents house to there, so commuting even for a brief time is going to really stink.  I've been house/apt hunting almost every other day this past week.  But as I have really come to believe and understand, "what's meant to be will be!" 

Thanks for all the support!