alright, i'm posting again... mostly because i have nothing better to do and it's almost 4AM (yey for naps that lasted 3 hours longer than you anticipated!).

school has been... eh... nerve wrecking... i'm failing math. i'm probably failing japanese. i just can't keep up in that class. i'm gonna talk to my advisory teacher. he's said before his only purpose in my advisory class is to help us with school stuff we don't understand (not homework, but like the Running Start program and stuff). so i'm gonna take him up on that offer and make him find me a different 1st and 2nd period. i just can't stand mr. allen. he's such an ASSHOLE.

a few days ago mercedes got yelled at because she told mrs. gradoville that her dad had called like 3 times and left a message. gradoville was like screamin at 'er and everything. don't know WHY she was so OFFENDED but she was. she takes everything like an insult and loves to get you back for it. like someone was skipping her class and she's going OUT OF HER WAY to find his parents and tell them about it and even try and get him signed up on the becca bill (poor rick). it's like... most teachers when they know you're skipping their class they'll write you up, tell you you got written up and that'll be the end of that. they don't call home, go on and ON about how you're failing or what a bad student you are, and how it's all your fault etc etc. it's just... ugh, she's just a bitter old woman and needs to be put out to pasture. it's getting rediculous.

i've realized what good friends me and mercedes are... i mean, we almost never see eachother in the 1st half of the school day and when we do we just wave. we have 3 classes together and only talk in two of them. we COULD talk in mr. ericson's class but i have too much respect for mr. ericson to disrupt the class just to gossip with mercedes.

but like, at lunch, we never talk. i talk to the only two or three people left that i understand and have any connection to. gary, alex, and jose. sometimes chris but not really. he just hangs around us alot. mercedes is usually on the other side of the table, she knows everyone there and is either silent or is talking to them. either way, she and i don't sit and talk or even socialize much during lunch. after school or any other time though, we're practically inseperable. i just realized i grew up a little bit *shock* usually i'd use that as an excuse to be righteously angry but i haven't. it's... unnerving... i keep waiting for the shit to hit the fan but it hasn't... yet. cross your fingers and toes children.

gary's been sick the past two days... it's sad. i've been meaning to go visit him but i don't know what i'd do... sit there and talk about everyone at school? i dunno. maybe i will, i'm not sure. if i'm bored enough i'll call ahead and see if he's home (i know he's sick but he's not DEAD) and go visit. oh well... everyone send him a get well soon.

i don't know why, but i just read james' xanga... like everything from when we broke up and on. that's the level of boredom i have. sometimes i miss em but i imagine it's just me missing being in a close relationship... jee, i definately miss kat more than james. i mean, of course i still love em but that's not enough to make me contact him, or try and rekindle anything. i'm fine with kat. i love kat. and i could actually have a successful future with him. i don't know, maybe it was just idle curiousity... lol.

i'm going to the last showing of SW13 tomorrow night. or tonight... which is it...? not sure. oh well. you know what i mean. mom said me and chibi would be at Elliot's party tonight when i TOLD her chibi and i would have plans saturday night. i even invited her to come with! but nuuu, she's just gonna let elliot think we're ditching him. ugh, sometimes...

lots of drama in the drama hall. see mercedes for details you dirty gossip queens. either way, it makes me sad to see that wedge in the theater family. i was jealous of it at first but eh, now it's just fun to see. not the fighting, but i mean, BEFORE they started fighting. it's just nice to see people bond so easily.

the title screen for the scooby doo movie has been playing over and over for about 3 hours now. maybe 4. only reason i haven't turned it off is because that would make the room darkER. and as you all know i'm afraid of the dark.

umm... hmm... i wish more of my friends were night owls. almost none of them are. gary, maybe... i'm not sure. his parents are too mormon to let him stay over here or stay out past like... 10. alex definately isn't. mercedes has had a hard week so she's out cold. chibi's passed out. i'm not close enough to donny to know whether or not he is, but i doubt it. *pouts* does no one know the joys of neon lights at 4am? *glomps gabe* he's the only freak left awake and tha's just cause he doesn't want to cuddle up to the skater boy that passed out in his bed.

well, i'm gonna leave these questions for anyone who wants to comment. i stole em from james' xanga. dunno why, they just seemed nifty...

1. what is life to you?

2. Do you like me?

3. would you hug me?

4. would you kiss me?

5. what do you believe in?

6. what is sex to you and why do you believe the way you think? (i.e. 'it's a commitment' 'it's just a fun thing to do with someone you like' etc)

last but not least

who do you like/love at this point in time?(whatever you want to call it)

dun look at me that way, you know i actually do give a damn about these answers. they're not JUST a way to nudge you people into commenting. ^____^

theifin from Gabely ness because i'm too lazy to do a REAL post.

10 years ago....
- i was... 6
- i wore hand me down tshirts and black jeans EVERYDAY
- i thought i was a boy.
- i beat up my sister for making fun of me in baby gibberish...

5 years ago....
- i was 11
- i... tried pot.
- i moved off the rez.

1 year ago...
- worked my ass off in freshman year.
- i had a better attendance record
- had two wives whom i lurved and enjoyed.

Yesterday...
- Went to school
- pouted cause i keep missing 1st period
- tripped and died.
- seriously thought about dropping out.

5 snacks I enjoy:
- tiny microwave burritoes!
- Struddell. wheeeeee!
- TOFFEEEEE! OH GOD YES TOFFEE!
- strawberries
- chocolate covered people with fresh mango juice

5 songs i know all the words to:
- Jagged Little Pill - Alanis Morrissette
- The Dope Show - Marilyn Manson
- the My Pokemon (bring all the boys to the yard!) song.
- Rock n Roll - The Sounds
- Into the Void - Black Sabbath

5 things you would do with 100 million dollars:
- invest 100,00 (i know, i'm so damn dull)
- Buy a big house near the city
- Buy puppies!!! oh god, i miss my dogs.
- shop. damnit, i'm a woman, i have to give into dem urges SOMETIMES

5 bad habits:
- Drinking. i spike too much soda with rum everyday lol.
- Sleeping in
- biting my nails
- staying up too late
- not doing my homework

5 favorite toys:
- Peeg (giant pink pig who sleeps in mah bed)
- mah nintendogs!!! (can you tell i REALLY miss having a dog?)
- Compooter (*agrees with gabriel's answer*)
- mah piggie lighter that i lost... i can't buy another either! *sobs*
- um... boys! wheeee....

List 10 things that bring you a moment of joy:
- coming home after a shitty day at school and there's cold coke in the fridge for meee
- when someone i like blows off their other friends to talk to me *glomps donny*
- when i actually have something interesting to say.
- when i get called on to be humiliated but i know the answer and she has to go humiliate someone else! HA! IN YOUR FACE MRS. GRADOVILLE!!!
- when xplay has a marathon...
- um... when my bed feels extra comfy and i fall asleep right away
- when i get a new piggie.
- eating chocolate and don't get pimples the next day
- listening to my favorite song at the moment.
- when alex does those cute noises

Tag 5 friends to do the same:
- whoever reads this.

Stuff that makes me happy:

1 - Being inside, in my attic room, when it rains. With a book.
2 - Baking cookies, because it's easy and you get to eat them.
3 - Dancing and drinking with friends.
4 - My dogs.
5 - Laughing with my sister at two in the morning, in her room.
6 - My mother.
7 - When you find randomly nice people, who you would of otherwise not spoken to.
8 - Window-shopping.
9 - Very occassionally, getting soaking wet in torrential rain.
10 - Harry Potter. when Severus was found out, whooo!

Stuff that makes me unhappy:

1 - When people I care for are upset.
2 - When I fuck up and piss people off.
3 - Throwing-up.
4 - The fact that my Alarm Clock ate itself.
5 - When my internet is slow, because I'm a want-want-want consumer sort of gal.
6 - Fights.
7 - One of my dogs died.
8 - When I can't get to sleep, like now.

Well, that was fun, wasn't it?

now you fill one out.

-.- just got back from babysitting some behbehs. there were four:

*a 4 year old, Taylor, spoiled brat
*the next youngest was Bailey, bonified wussy.
*next in line is Zachary, has to take pills to control his temper and they don't help much.
*then the oldest, JJ who loves to rile up everyone and get everyone angry then run off laughing. yes, i was extremely close to dragging him to his room and locking him in there.

taylor was up all god damn night, getting into everything. finally just gave up, and went to bed. chibi had passed out way before. the kid kept coming in the room and showing me stuff so finally i just shouted at him "GET THE FUCK OUT AND GO TO BED!!!" he jumped and RAN outta that room.

next day chibi got me outta bed (FORCED ME) and told me to help her with the kids. she's like "i only came to keep you company, not babysit." i was like "-.- brat."

she made some breakfast and i tried to make sure they didn't break anything or kill eachother. -.- none of them would have much of the breakfast she cooked so i just gave in and let them have cereal. last time the cereal was almost a total disaster so i REALLY didn't want them to have it when the rambunctious 4-some were all together.

after they ate they had the energy to be a running, screaming, fighting, smashing machine of loudness. i just gave up and went to their mom's room and watched tv, laid there and pretended i was dead. chibi wouldn't let me. -.- cause she wasn't comfortable hiding in their parents room she was stuck outside with the boys. eventually i came out, lost my temper and starting screaming at them. "GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE HOUSE IF YOU'RE GOING TO FIGHT LIKE THAT!!! KILL EACHOTHER OUTSIDE! and don't let taylor stray off into the road, okay?" o.o mreh. i dun like behbehz.

it was so nice with them outside... soon after the other babysitter got there. for some reason i don't know why their parents don't use us as a babysitter more often. i imagine it's a mercy thing lol. they know most babysitters run screaming, flinging their pay into the air and crying like a baby. not us, we were too worn out to do that.

after the other babysitter got there we talked for awhile and then Diana (the boys' mom) got there and gave us a ride home (HALLELUIAH! [sp]) the ride home in the truck was cramped and uncomfortable. chibi had the worst time of it, what with the stick shift going up her little ass. prolly got round bruises all over her ass cheeks xD i gotta remember to ask.

---------

went to SW13 again. it was great. we sat up front and i got to grin at my friends on stage and it's just funner when you're in the front row. i don't know why.

gary was great, he was the sexiest tree, ghost, and dancer there was. mercedes giggled when she was on stage, i don't know if anyone else noticed. she was still a very good Mrs. V and flocker (people who are in the background mostly just to take up space). misha was a narrorator. i think... well, kind of. yeah. seksi narrorator. and a mother. a pretty sick suicidal mother lol. still, she looked hot.

i bought them all roses, then chibi bought some soda... um... brad kicked ass in his play and the Pinnochio dance. i gotta remember to buy Megan a rose the last day of the performance. she and i have gotten a little closer. i've always thought she was cool and a fun person. cute too.

umm... waited the longest time for mercedes to change. i don't know why it took her so long, but she was the very last one outta there. then she told us her dad wanted her to come straight home and she had someone driving her home. when she had asked us to wait so we could go out and eat. i was pissed. i was frustrated because i had wanted to take off with Sean but i couldn't because i was with chibi and i didn't want her to go home alone and i didn't want to hang out with sean and her at the same time. i'm uncomfortable enough around that guy, without worrying if she's gonna tell Kat i'm slutting around again.

so yeah, i was frustrated and tired, and cold, and annoyed and just not in the mood for disappointment. i let her guilt it up, i wasn't going to say "oh it's okay, some other time!" cause i wasn't feeling that perky. chibi kept snapping at me without meaning to. it's annoying that her natural disposition towards me is rude and snappy. it erks the fuck out of me.

wellp... left a bulleton up on myspace... hoping mercedes or sean or maybe even (doubtfully) gary.

*ROFL* mah kat just fell off the back of the couch imitating 007!

ah, just got back from SW 13 (whole bunch of plays and dance routines, written and directed by the drama department students). i was so nervous for mercedes, misha, and gary. i chipped off all my nail polish, terrified they were gonna screw up (mah pessimism showed up in full force obviously). they didn't. all three of em were so great, i was so proud... whoo. i wanna go again and sit way up from so i can oggle the pretty drama people.

bought gary a rose. decided against buying one for misha because i was still a little erked that she'd dump me and then chase something like KEVIN. i mean, if it was someone hotter than me, or more fun, or ANYTHING  but he's not. he's like furniture. i mean, she and i barely had a relationship in the first place, so it's really just a blow to my ego, i know that. oh well, i was still offended. that, and she never talks to me. she never interacts with me in anyway. why should i buy a rose for someone whose been ignoring me for the past few weeks?

i didn't get mercedes one because i was still sore at her for ditching me during homecoming. can't use the excuse that i didn't go into the gym cause she walked off long before that. i was just... erked... since she was the one to talk me into going in the first place.

oh well, stupid reasons just to hold onto my money for a little bit longer. -.- sucks. since i ended up spending it all on chibi by the end of the night. we bought munchies between blocks (intermission).

ummm... the plays kicked ass. i loved them. my favorite was the 1st one with misha, she's a kick ass narrator. looked hot up on stage. the best dance routines were Blue and Gary's routine, Iris. i just had a ball, and it looked like the actors did too.

afterward the actors were all outside the theater, shaking hands with people as we walked out. gary got mah rose. he seemed happy about it so that brightened my night. i miss having him around, drama has been taking up so much time i never  get to see him... oh well, i'll live lol.

went down to mcdonald's for dinner, gary's mom gave us a ride. i hope she doesn't think i'm a heathen O_O mercedes and chibi said i slipped up SO much. cussing and saying perverted things. oh jeebus... i didn't know, i caught myself cussing once, maybe it was cause i was so tired. oh well, i'll apologize to gary or something later.

we sat around in mcdonalds talking for like, an hour. there was this chick, lauren, there. she works there. she used to ride my bus and i used to have a small crush on her. she's still cute as hell. at least her red and black uniform suits her lol, but i could tell she was a little embarrassed that we were meeting there. i just smiled and was extra friendly.

there was this blonde guy there, just hanging around. i don't know why he was there. he occasionally talked to the staff but otherwise he just stood around looking at a map. i guess he was road tripping with a friend who occasionally came in and they'd argue over something then the dude would leave again. eventually when i went to get ketchup i stopped and asked if he needed a hug. he just laughed and said, "no, but thanks for thinking of me." and from then until we left at like 11 he kept smiling at me and waving. when we finally did leave i gave him a friendly, "bye bye!" and he gave me the peace sign O.o okie dokie... lol.

got home and mom came home and told us from now on we have to be in bed by midnight. i just stared at her and decided against saying, "yeah, like that's gonna happen." since she was disrespecting me infront of my friends, i decided to take the safe side and not disrespect her infront of them in retaliation. just seemed a little bit more childish than i was feeling.

so instead of going to bed and sending mercedes home alone i walked her home. since her step mom had said she didn't want her walking home alone... that, and it got me away from mom. i didn't feel like being around her if that's the way she was gonna be.

if you wear TAG body spray for guys, beautiful women will want to have sex with you.

i didn't get to school today. i made it in time to miss the student matinee, which according to gary, was a good thing. apparently the students were assholes and wouldn't shut their mouths. i would've decked anyone who heckled misha's, mercedes, or gary on stage. so i guess it's kind of a good and bad thing i wasn't there.

chibi came home kind of bitchy. she'd occasionally say something that made me want to scream at her and call her a whiney bitch, but i just took a deep breath and counted to ten. kept me from throwing something at her. she'd occasionally say something so fucking rude it just... *growls* after awhile though she cooled off. she was just pissed that mom handn't come to pick her up and her feet were still sore from the day before. she did a 20 minute walk in heels.

i could sympathize, i've been there. it's a very painful nightmare. i'd be pissed too, but i don't know if i'd take it out on her by telling her "UGH, wendy's is fucking nasty" right after she said she wanted to go there for lunch. just fucking rude, i'd have asked for an apology but i wasn't mad enough to try and force one out of her.

wellp. that's my day. i'm going to bed now before my mom comes out to skin me alive. g'nite loves.