I hate it!

Where's Romantic?

Lost the <3 4Christmas

Moments to Appreciate:

Remembering the times as we were once kids, we use to talk and msn for hours. It like a endless roller coaster ride. As we grow up, life is not always the same. It is a constant cycle of rotation in dymansion of times. We grow to be humans sooner or later becoming the slave to enconmic jobs. But in order to do so we must earn some sort of "paper" that says we are ready to work. Either way there isn't much choice unless you either want to be homeless poor or you were just born filthy rich to work. Who knows? Then its the process of make babies and BOOM your old. Thank you and see you in heavy suckers! Its out there waiting for us to just age into this process of life. But my point here is not to talk about the thoery of life and growth of babies poping out of mothers virgina. No it isn't! MONIDA..SHH DON'T EVEN IMAGINE THAT OKIE?

My point here is talking about the age of young adults like post-secondary students and how times of stress and more stress makes us lack forgetness of people around us. We lose the smile that we had carried. We lost the thoughts that had once contain the voices of our child youth. All of our friends and our moments together. We must not forget. Yes, I know people are in the dead zone of studies and stress outs! But realize that if you ever happen to see another on the bus (which we don't see another not so often) then don't ignore another and just greet and thats it. YES I know you guys rather save you bloody energy to suck up some words on a book than to use your nerve muscle to smile and talk. Some might just stand there like a robot and nod or reply uhhuh, yes, no, maybe, who knoes, huh?! and so forth. Adding on some who just rather SLEEP. BUT there are some GOOD ENERGIC PEOPLE (ie. Jenny Chow) who does want to talk.

Therefore, we as people should not grow into a world of robots and mindless fools that make us lack the youth we had once carried. If people in the world could greet and talk to another happily this would not affect anothers mood. Like we once said before...if you cry I cry...if you smile I will smile too and so forth.

So friends, lover, bisexual and so forth WE CAN DO THIS! SMILE AND TALK!!

The Things He Does For Me:

He made his move like a man he should be.
He rob my kiss as if it was already his.
He stole my heart before I could have taken it back.
He work so hard to pay for meals for those nights.
He warmed me up as if we were naked.
He told me jokes and made my stomach luagh.
He hold me tight as if there was no day and night.
He cried so hard just when I left that day.
He knew me well it was no more than a cheat book game.
He call me then and there to see if I was alrite and even times to say goodnighte.
He sang me songs to make me smile.

Of all the things he have done. There's not much I can ask.
I can't complain nor say. The things I try to do is never an effect.

I couldn't make a move because he did it first.
I was shy as a girl and he kiss me first.
I was never sure if I stole his heart.
I try to work but I can never find a job consistant and higher paying than his.
I try to warm him up but he gets hot all the time.
I tried to crack jokes but none of them never worked.
I tried to hug him but he was occupied playing games.
I cried alot these days in secret to take it out on myself than to him.
I knew him too.
I call him mostly everday but the affect of love seemed to have worn off on him.
I sang him songs but he never asked me to sing it again.

So there you have an idealism of me.

There is a saying:

He likes you 1 week.
He loves you next.
He propose romance month.
He propose engagement months after.
He fianlly have you.
He have completed the list.
He has done what was needed and things have been achieved.
Now, time have grown long and feelings aren't as strong.
He meant I love you for the last time and he never meant it again.
He grew tired of hearing his girlfriend.
He wanted a left of his own.
He cared about school, work, family and lastly if there was nothing else to do than his girlfriend.
He gave her back her heart, but the pieces have already been damaged.
Before he knew, she had cancer and died.

Love is like a butterfly. If you hold it to TIGHT it will die. If you let it FREE it will fly.

Diep's Day~

Today in the morning, I went to my old elementary to do a guest speech to my old teacher and his students. It was a class contain of kids with learning disabilities. I was one myself and I could understand what it must have felt like. Presenting my speech today I was happy I influenced kids in the classroom to believe in their writing and to work hard in school. I remember that before I had left elementary I had full of values and motivation of where I had to accomplished and struggle for. I gave kids advices for highschool and a summary of how I made it till today without dropping out of high school. I realize that I have became a role model to them. It felt as if something money can't be bought. Looking at the classroom that I had been in yours ago myself, made me feel a presence of belonging. I made history in this room. It was the room where it made my life change. Mr. Schoeber (my old elementary teacher who taught me to become more than a LD student) wanted me to be interviewed and written into a novel for motivation for kids. Shocking as that sound I never expected to be on a cover of story that will be every in the libary.

After that I went to school. Class felt so different from the environment I was in to the college. A friend of mine in english name Hanyoung is fun to talk with. I realize I forgot to thank him for comforting me last time at the scene of the moment that bastard took my cellphone. He didn't tell me I should do this or that. All he said was don't worry and don't cry anymore everything is going to be better. Simple but it felt comforting. He tried to making me feel better by telling stories of his own. I felt really bad for crying at the mall with him, it felt as if when people looked at us he was the one who hurted my feelings. Today, we sat today after english and just talked about the environment and how society in countries became what they are because of war. It was a good debate as I drank my tea (treated ^^). Good news I have convinced Hanyoung to buy an air car. Actually I was abit shock that he agree and he told me that its better for the environment and as long as it can take you to places thats all it matters.

After that I headed off to my last class. Then off I went home after wondering what lectures and yell I could get today. Heading into my house I greeted my mom. BUT why must she make me greet that PERSON.  She always tells me to not be like him and compares me to the likes of him. As a child I went crazily mental damaged of hearing this. I hate him. She doesn't like him either but since he came back she seems so normal as if nothing had happen before. Just wait till he fcuks you off. Already I can see his drinking problems. Over again. He snores as if the music player was on. His balls itched so he scratched it in front of my face. Our levels of manners are so different. How on earth did she stayed with this man. The way he has treated you. I the person I love ever treated me wrong I can't help but to leave him and if he ever hold me to tight or set me free then our relationship is obviously grew apart. Dinner time was up and I look into his face and I hated him so much more. But I PROMISE if he died I would atleast go to his furneral to pay respect.

Later before it was 10 I messaged to nick so I could talk to him. i realize I couldn't have told him my full true and toughts and feelings for him to know more about me in a few sentences. I miss the old time when we use to talk to another because he missed me and even if it was past his sleep time he would continue talking becuz we were so interested in another. Our webcam we use to do and made face. I realize that he aspect of what was important change. He needed to do what he needed to do. But nothing beyond the limits. I understand. At that moment as he signed off. I finally felt how it felt like to be a old grandma last of her husband or even last of someone to talk to since you are living alone in a seniors home. I learn that everyone hates breaking up over and over. But I learn I WANT to feel as if an excitement of love and ever of interest for another like the time a relationship had started up and that the romance keeps on going. The care and passion for another.

Nothing else to say about my day. As I head off wondering what could become of me.