I've been thinking about this a LOT lately, too, miguel. I have no idea, honestly, why women act this way. They say  they want some caring, sensitive, artisticly creative faggy boyfriend to help them sort their pink-unicorn-themed teapot collection, and then they end up running off to goddamn oregon with some miscreant tattooed  baby-seal-clubbing asshole who pees in the fountian at the mall and then gets the security gaurd in a headlock and dunks his head in the pee-flavored-smelly-mall-water.  I think if someone has a vagina it automatically makes them technically insane, which is pretty bad because well, the majority of men enjoy vaginas, and well, that is their quest in life, and by condoning assholeism, them crazy-ass womenfolk are subjecting themselves to being the basis for "Lifetime, Television for Women" movies in which some guy beats his wife's ass and she shoots him in the nuts for as long as this vicious circle goes on.

Wow, that is a though provoking question. I've been there and done that so to speak. Actually, I've chosen Fred Cleancut and I've chosen Mr. Puppet. Okay, first before I go any further I LOVE your new header graphic! Okay, now I'll get back to the question at hand.

My first husband was for the most part Fred Cleancut. He was a hard working man, educated, determined to leave his mark on the world. Obviously as I say he was my first husband that means that I didn't stay with him. He was a good man as men go, and a caring father in every sense of the word. He provided for his family and never strayed. We also got married way too young. At least I was too young (16 and pregnant). He was egotistical. He was mentally abusive. I wasn't as much a wife to him as I was a house keeper and child care giver. We divorced after 6 years of marriage.

My second husband was an abusive alcohalic. This wasn't apparent until after we had been married for a few months. I knew he liked to drink and party but then so did I. He physically abused me twice through the period of our 4 year marriage. People think I'm crazy when I share this next bit but I honestly think that he did love me. Yes, he beat me twice, but compared to what he had done to his first wife (landed her in the hospital with broken ribs while she was pregnant with his child), the girlfirend before me (almost killed both her and her lover with a pen knife), as well the woman whom he married after he and I divorced (he pistol whipped her at least once a month). If the scanner said the police were heading to the apartment complex where they lived (welfare apartment complex) than likely it was because he had beat her yet again. He became well known to the local police. Now, back to why I think he actually did love me. Because what he did to me only happened twice, and neither was to the extent of his prior or latter history. Something held him back. Now, he was a key example of Mr. Puppet.

My current husband is again more like Fred Cleancut. He is a well educated man. He is the first man to ever give me flowers because he wanted to not because I hinted at him that I would love to get flowers. When it comes to important dates since we met, he's the one that remembers them better than I do. He is a hard worker and absolutely hates the fact that I have to find a job. Now granted, our relationship isn't all sunshine and roses. He's done things that have hurt me more deeply than any one else I've had a relationship with has ever done.

I've had both worlds and honestly don't know if one is truly better than the other. There is no Mr. Perfect. There never will be a Mr. Perfect. I stay with my husband because I love him and know that we are meant to be together. If the time should come where the decision is made to end our marriage it will be a mutual decision and I honestly believe that it would be the only one that I would be able to remain friends with.

Have I just totally strayed from what you were asking? LOL It's Saturday night and I'm brain dead and definitely by all means have a drink for me. If not for me at least to me.

Love and Hugs

I have someone that's 85% Fred and 15% Puppet and I love him more than I could ever say.  (Keep those percentages in mind, and apply them to what I'm following with.)  Brian is sweet, funny, sensitive, sexy, smart and an all around wonderful guy.  Yes, he fucks up like the rest of us and he has fucked me over before, but 'it's not the general rule, it's an exception to the general rule'.  While he's not overly romantic, he still does sweet and romantic things and I wouldn't trade that for anything.

In my opinion, part of the draw of Puppet might be that on the rare occasions he gives affection or offers sweet words, they mean so much since to his SO because they hardly ever come and are therefore not taken for granted.  Or it could be that, generally speaking, men are clueless assholes and we women are bitchy doormats.

Personally, I've only dated one Puppet and even then he wasn't that bad.  Just only wanted me for one thing, yada yada yada.

we believe that we can change them.  we see the good in everyone and want to help out.  bad boys are appealing but I avoided them for the most part while dating.  You never know exactly what will happen when with a bad boy.  I would most likely go for Fred E. Cleancut III.

Yah my pics r up.  maybe next time my fingers should be spread a little farther apart.

I think it's the excitement that he could've been with any of those women but he chose you. Of course, he hasn't actually commited but women think they can somehow change that. Despite popular culture saying that men like to do all the chasing, women also enjoy a challenge. They want the satisfaction of knowing they took some badass and whipped him into a nice, obediant man. That he just changed all his ways for her.. and in reality that doesn't really happen.

Fred doesn't make them feel protected because he probably wouldn't put them in a situation where he has to. Women feel like they didn't have to do anything to charm him because he is affectionate and appreciative of them from the beginning.

Fred is boring and predictable and reminds me of my father.  Puppet, on the other hand, looks like a hell of a good time in bed, is more likely to appreciate a dirty joke, and completely unpredictable.  I'd say a mix of the two would be adequate.

Steph is probably right, but I learned a long time ago that I don't have the ability to change anyone but myself, so my perspective reflects this knowledge. Some people learn this more slowly than others, or not at all. I know women who think they can change someone who's a badass into a good little boy, but in the end they are left with tattered emotions, empty wallet, and battle wounds that sometimes do not heal. I distance myself from those people, usually, because it even drains me looking from the outside in. I have preferred to be with men who have already decided for themselves that they need to change, and have done so to better their own lives. Of course, that doesn't mean that they are perfect, but at least they are trying to make some sense out of the chaos of this life.

Doesn't it kind of go both ways? Not that men go for gangster women necessarily, but they often go for the high maintenance bitches. The ones that spend all your money, never say thank you, rarely listen to what you're saying, and date your best friends. I would say that's along the lines of the female equivalent of mr puppet

Speaking of personal experience, I once picked a 'bad boy', just to piss my mother off.
I was 18 at the time. It didn't work out.
Yeah, I know..shocker, hehe!

I think women do this, because they are being told to be good girls, to behave, be lady-like and dainty. It is a form of rebellion. Most of the time.

It also goes back to self-esteem. If a woman feels she does not deserve any better, she'll go for the easy catch.

I dunno..I guess I really do not know why we do the things we do, then bitch about it to anyone who will listen, hehe.

So, why do most guys seem to go for the boney, blond chicks, but not for the curvy redheads?

Have a great Sunday, dearie.
Hugs
L