Woof, Woof...Yes, I'm A Man!
So I've noticed that many women have man trouble lately. It seems that they all seem to be under the impression that all men are dogs! Women think that all men lie, cheat, flirt, and keep secrets. Do you know what I have to say to that? 
That's right! If you guessed that then you're a winner! All men (99.99%) are dogs. But let me explain why. Give me about an hour or two, because I gotta go to work. I'll give you guys and gals...scratch that...all my homies and homegirls my opinion later. Check back in an hour or two. But for now here is my question for you: Why are all men dogs? **EDIT**#1 (yes I'm still at work..will add even more later) 
There is just some strange reason (probably in our DNA) that men just have to try and kiss something new. It starts when we're young, and follows us to our adult life. No matter how much we like you, it gets old, and we're going to get bored. For example, I love "Count Chocula" cereal...and yet if I eat it for breakfast every single day, after a while I get fed up with it...you know what I mean? Kissing the same woman everyday...year after year...it can and does get old. 
Also, we men come from a long line of hunters. We used to hunt for survival and now we just go to Albertson's or Walmart for food and drink. We still have the need and urge to hunt though. There's something about stalking, observing and pouncing on new prey that fills us with a sense of accomplishment! Ahhh...sniff, sniff....smell that? That's the smell of a fresh kill, new blood! There's nothing like it! 
Also there are far too many choices! Now, I could have used a different (and more interesting) pic here but I decided to be nice. There are too many women to choose from. They come in all shapes and sizes, personalities, appearance, experience, and specialties! How can we stick with just one? 
Most men think that they're slick, and that they can get away with it...but women know. Sooner or later they get caught. We as men know and realize this...we just choose to take our chances. I know what some of you are thinking right now, "Well, not my man!" Guess what? More than likely your man too! I think that there can and are exceptions and my numbers may be slightly off, but not by much. If you are suspecting that your man is cheating...chances are that he is. But fear not my homegirls! There are a lot of things that you can do to avoid being on the receiving end of his cruelty! The problem is that I'm still at work..so you're going to have to wait until I get home for the rest! Sorry. ***EDIT #2 I'm home!  
Confidence in yourself is the best weapon in your arsenal! Nothing is a bigger turn off for a man than a woman who you have to keep reassuring! It's okay at the start, we'll do it...but it gets old way fast! Men love a challenge, and a confident woman makes him feel like he has to work for it. Being overly jealous or insecure is not in your best interest. If you're not sure of yourself, your man will more than likely stray.  
It's okay to be rather saintly in public view and around friends and family, however, in the bedroom...men don't want the shy good little woman...they want the whore. Don't be so fucking prude! Experiment, keep it from going stale and monotonous! Bring in the toys, the roll playing, the sexy underwear..whatever, but don't let it get old! Mix it up! Ask him about his fantasies...we all have a fantasy...get to know him. Communication is essential in the bedroom as well. Be sensitive too....like "Baby, speed up a little, there...just like that." Not "What the hell do you think you're doing?"<---will probably hurt our sensitive feelings, all men think that they are sex Gods in the bedroom. Once the sex is perfect for you, you'll enjoy it and he'll feel the vibe...he'll be proud of himself as well.   
It's okay to be nice. Cook and clean and even buy him gifts...but NEVER, EVER, EVER go overboard. He'll feel trapped, suffocated and will take it as a sign of weakness. It's human nature to take advantage of people. By being too "perfect" you're no longer seen as a challenge. Now, I'm not saying to stop cooking and cleaning and turning into a bitch. I am saying that you need to make sure that he appreciates you and doesn't always expect you to do these things. Remember that most men are dogs, so don't feel bad if you do these things and he still strays...you can always cut off his weiner while he sleeps! THE END -Miguel | 
