Sometimes you want to be able to be cool with people, even when you don't like them. I guess I see doing this as a humbling act, learning to work an get along with different people. I guess we can choose who we want to be associated with in the end without causing conflict.

I feel this is a lot like how people think about me as well.

So Amazing... So Amazing

I say it twice because I look back and reflect on what I participated in while I attended SJSU...

Alpha Kappa Omega Fraternity and Campus Crusade for Christ... Both have blown up and have huge followings and events that we dreamed of when I was active along with my brothers and sisters in both organizations.

Last night I visit the 8th annual Root Beer Kegger at the Crusade house and it has exploded from when we first started it. I was disappointed to find that there was Thomas Kemper and not BJ's Root Beer, but hey that wasnt what put a smile on my face and excitement in my heart. I saw our once 75ish people event explode into a few hundred attenders. One keg of RB to 6 kegs of RB. Music from speakers to a live band; too bad the neighbors called the police so we could have them play; but still the fact that it has turned out so many people and seeing the new population and once freshmen I knew now Seniors from 3 years ago. It was nice to see that our pizza wall was still full and posted on the walls of the stairs from 5 years ago in the Crusade house. Thanks Little Caesar's for the $6 deep dish pepperoni pizza.

I heard that the Thursday night chapel was replaced with our activities and still hanging out at the house to the wee hours in the morning. Sunday Nights have the guest speakers now and I heard that there was 2 couples on staff for SJSU, that really what we needed many years ago and its good to see that action in place.

My Brothers, new and old, still strong and kicking from AKOmega. The family that taught me so much about myself and my flaws, and still continue too. I see the numbers jump, as my alpha class number 8 seems so long ago from the now 70 strong from Beta Chapter alone. The welcome and tightness of this group never fails and has always and will always be present in my life as well as all the brothers as we continue to help our family grow years after we have left the college scene, but I wish I was a freshmen again to do it all over. From La Salsa Classic to Perpetratin to Triple Treat DJ's coming out or being performed or competing, we have found many great memories that we all can share as time goes on. 2001 Spring will be a time that will forever be engraved in my life and attitude as I was formed into a more multifaceted individual that shined brightly in the name of Courage, my family.

So much excitement so not to long ago, but DAMN WHAT AN EXPLOSION!

so amazing... dream it... believe it... see it...

More than anything I think we all love freedom. I think we all can agree that having freedom is something we cherish if we are fortunate enough to have it, and if not something we hope and dream about possessing. Holding the ability to choose, do, feel, and express our emotions, opinions, and ideas regardless of self origin or under persecution is priceless and fought for constantly throughout the world and all through history. Because we are all unique and live accordingly to how we choose, if there is such a thing, we should be able to control to a certain extent of the out come of our lives. Putting aside tragic accidents and unfortunate events of life, I feel we have peace of mind if we have some control over what we choose to become and what path we choose to walk. I honestly feel perplexed and disoriented in life because of my faith, which says that we all have free will choose how to live our lives.

Being Christian and passionate about what I believe is something that holds me to stand firm and walk the path of life laid before me. I follow to the best of my ability the things that Christ laid before me in my daily actions; striving through the hardships of life with perseverance, focus, practice and persistence to evolve and become a more capable individual while growing in my relationship with Christ. Despite my short comings and failures, more abundant and countless, I am reminded that I am not perfect nor will I achieve perfection. I find myself constantly learning through my failures and discovering more and more about myself and life. I reflect upon my actions, both good and bad, pulling out what I can to do to improve myself, but not just for myself or for God, but for society and those around me that I directly influence.

I choose to do as I see correct and fair in my own eyes, remember the wisdom I have gain from personal experience and my studies of the bible. I remember that it is not the literal translations or memories that are important to put forward, but the heart and love that expressed through actions when it comes time to make a choice. To be humble in times of trials and grateful in times of wealth are not easy to express or remember. Getting caught up in a moment is something that common everyday and choosing our decisions carefully and making sense of what is going on around us at all times helps us to exercise our knowledge, which is wisdom. This wisdom will help us to achieve our aspirations and goals as we discover what we really want or see from life.

Choosing is an expression of freedom, but freedom is the ability to choose to express. To act in accordance of our desires, wants, and needs is something that can feel restricted at times. Taking into account of those around us as well as the outcome or consequences of our actions can then limit our ability to choose freely, thus limiting our freedom. Remembering principles we are to follow is usually meant to be protective or the “best for us.” I speak of sin and the action of sinning; it is always not so clear and cut or black and white. In fact I think it is fair to say there stands a huge grey area at times.

We don’t always want to follow the law, and sometimes like to take it into our own hands. We naturally like to “do as we please,” breaking our own rules and guidelines we set up for ourselves. Whether they are personal, spiritual, or religious, we sometimes feel limitations to our freedom, thus impacting our free will. Limitations that we put before ourselves meant to prevent damage or give security to our lives - good in principle - however if breaking them for purpose leaves guilt, these rules and guidelines then become questionable. What was once an absolute, becomes questionable whether we want to continue to “put our foot down” or choose step over the line. It is unsettling.

If something is already set and decided in a plan, does it matter how the ending arrives or is there an alternate finish line? This is a second unsettling mindset. Logically we can express that we can change a direction, path, line, goal, etc... By my faith I feel that God has set forth a plan and predestined the outcome of what He has put into motion. This in turn brings an unsettling mindset as predestination negates the fact of freedom of choice, or free will as a whole if a there is only one “hole for the ball to fall into.” Meaning that despite all actions, somehow or someway all things will end up the same in the end.

These two subjects: freewill and predestination are full of discussion and controversy within the Christian faith. I like to tell people I don’t like to talk about it as it usually results disagreement, upsetting emotions, or hurt feelings. It is something that I struggle with a lot as I think about what I believe. I like to think I have control over my own life and can choose to do “what is best” given circumstances at any given time, despite it going against my range of “protective walls” or restrictions. I like to do what is fair and just, but realize this: “Who am I to decide what is fair and just or anyone for that matter?” I want to make a decision freely and without something being decided before hand. I like to know that I was the one that made my choice and not an outside influence acting upon me or through me. I like to know I truly have free will at all.

Ironically, questioning what I believe has grown my faith to help me stand solid and know what I believe to be truth. Despite the many loopholes and logical fallacies within religion or faith, it is so true for me to remember this: Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

I am also reminded that: "Everything is permissible for me"—but not everything is beneficial.

Xanga for LIFE right?

I havent written in a while but I have had some great times this year...

The greatest accomplishments in life arent always victories, sometimes the greatest accomplishment one can achieve is learning to become more humble and selfless.

Just something I have been thinking about.

-Xet

I’ve often thought about what I would do, say, or write about if I knew my life was going to end. Not that I’m planning on it ending, but the fact that I’m going skydiving does imply I’m taunting death. I’ve often wondered about what it would be like to know that you’re going to die and then what actions would I take. Would I produce a bucket list or go on living life the way I had been, not changing anything? I’ve often felt that I don’t think I would do anything differently if I knew I had a limited amount of time left. What is the point to experience something if you can’t cherish it? It would be like a short lived celebration and then have it taken away; however having experienced something is better than to have not experienced anything.

I’ve always have wanted to go skydiving ever since I was a kid, and more so as I grew older. The funny thing is that most people in my family are too conservative, minus my brother, and are too afraid to take any real risks. Having uncertainty in life is what makes it great and risk taking is part of that uncertainty. Sure I could play life safe and be conservative and do what is “the best decision” for being safe and sound, but why would I want to live a boring and predictable life. If I could pretty much control the outcome of my decisions to always be positive and protective, I would be living in a shell and miss out on so much. “It is better to live life risking everything, than to live life and risk nothing.”

I like that last quote, but I guess I miss the point of it as I take it to the extreme and risk a whole lot all the time. It is really saying, “Take some risks in life,” as I have interrupted in my more sane consciousness. To me stacking the odds against yourself knowing that you’re most likely to fail or get burned with a slight chance of victory or glory is worth taking. It seems irrational, stupid, and foolhardy to risk anything with the odds stacked against you so high, but the reward of the experience to do so is well worth it. To achieve something that someone might say is “Million-to-one odds,” is something that is more fulfilling than a million “safe plays” in my opinion. Anyone can live in a shell, some can live around it, yet it takes a measure of character to leave the shell behind and venture into the wild.

Exploration of oneself is something that I love about life. Seeing how we can grow and mature by experience is often forgotten and only remembered during acute fractions of clarity, which originate from time to time during our lives. Don’t become overwhelmed, excited, or impulsive due to experiences; remember them for what they are and learn from them, and evolve your persona. Consistency is found in many parts of our life, but metamorphous is often forgotten due to our limited capacity to understand we have the ability to break free from our cocoon of everyday life and live out more. Much like the caterpillar that lives its life on the ground only seeing what is directly in front of it, until it marinates in a silky sleeping bag and then becoming airborne. We live grounded because we choose to. I have chosen to constantly metamorphosis so I too can experience the more than what is in front of me, like flying.

We are given multiple paths in life to follow much like the way a tree has roots, which has a trunk, which has limbs, which have branches, which have twigs, which has leaves. The roots are our foundation which allows us to grow our tree trunk; we can choose how many limbs, branches, twigs, and leaves to produce. We can choose to be like a giant redwood, or a tiny bonsai. We get to choose as we are given this freedom. It is a risk to be small and it is a risk to be gigantic. Each comes with its own benefits and consequences, failures and victories, and loves and heartbreaks. It is all dependent on where you choose to plant yourself. If we choose to plant ourselves in a desert, we become like a cactus; in a forest, like a tree; in a cave, like fungus; in the ocean, like seaweed. All are different and all are unique; most importantly, all have purpose.

Our environment can shape and mold us to who we are and what be become, but we are not plants; we can uproot and move a seven hour drive away or have way around the world if we need to. We do what is necessary to achieve what we want and set our eyes on. If we are growing in no particular direction, then nothing is necessary to guide us. If we have guidance, we have a goal in mind and then, and only then, we can choose to do what is necessary to cross the finish line. After enough trials, tribulations, and hardships are completed that draw a similar focus or purpose, dreams are realized and achieved. A dream achieve, if only even one in a lifetime, is a life well lived and thoroughly enjoyed. But all dreams are not to be achieved, and some are meant to be let go.

Disappointment is part of the overall function of life. “Without disappointment, victory wouldn’t taste so sweet and be so meaningful.” I think I heard something like that some time ago. If going through life without failing seems like a good thing, then do it. I pray for whoever goes far in life continuing to remain flawless, because failing once would be life crippling and enormously devastating. We as people are meant to fail, so that we might learn. Learning is the biggest part of life that is often seen as something that is “just a part of life.” Learning is what manipulates our character to what we are each day; the more learning, the more change, resulting in more manipulation. The ironic part is that we get set in our ways and behaviors as we feel this is what defines us with age; which is perfectly fine, but not for me. I like to continue to learn and become further manipulated.

“Manipulation – management or influencing skillfully, especially in an unfair manner;” since life is not fair, nor was it meant to be, we can omit the “especially in an unfair manner,” and are left with “management or influencing skillfully.” Kind of puts a ripple on that last number I shared, but it is crystal clear in the sense that failures develop management ability as well as influence us to have great skills in life. So it all works out in my bogus logical mannerisms. The goals that we accomplish or fail are due to both management and skills. See, manipulation in life is all fair and just, from a certain point of view. Yea I’m twisted in my thinking, but who isn’t?

It’s not all disappointment and it’s not about manipulating either, it’s more about contentment. To be able to see and feel contentment in all aspects of life is to be able to be full of humility. Being sad or happy are emotions, much like satisfaction and frustration, but contentment is a state of tranquility where emotions don’t play a role into our actions, but our mindset will always be influenced by our heart. Not to say we shouldn’t feel emotion, but not too become overwhelmed by the impact that it has on us. (Maybe I should be listening to myself) Overreaction is common, but like my grandma says, “Everything in moderation.” Something that I try to improve upon each day, and something I think we all can take to heart, whether it be emotional, financial, or physical; however I think love should not be in moderation, but in abundance.

Love, a driving fuel of life, encouragement and a sports drink that gives us the ability to push ourselves above and beyond what we ever thought imaginable. Well, maybe not a sports drink, but it is the biggest risk in my opinion much like doing some “deep water soloing.” (Deep water soloing is bouldering, free climbing without gear, over cliffs in the ocean, usually to crazy heights that make you pee on yourself. Yeah, it’s crazy! Crazy fun, that is.) I like to use the analogy of rock climbing to love as rock climbing helped me realize so much about life. Each route, or “problem” as climbers refer to them as, is unique, much like each loving relationship with a family member or significant other. The texture of the stone or wall is like the foundation on which love is built. Full of cracks, bumps, slopes, smooth areas, sharp points, and beauty are all part of the equation. The difficulty is based on how hard it is to climb; or in relationships, how much effort will it take in a given type of relationship.

Love is a problem, but not something meant to stump us. It is something we need to explore, mediate on, believe in, and devote ourselves to in order to achieve something awesome; ascension to top, thus finishing the climb. Each hold of the problem helps us get that much closer to our goal, but just like anything you do, do it because you love it, not just to get it done in life. Feel out and position yourself so that you can prepare yourself for the next move or motion. Understanding what and how to go about things is to first plan out how to reach our goals, just getting there isn’t always as easy as thinking about it. It requires energy you don’t have, it requires patience you don’t have, and it requires a mindset that sees perseverance and yearns for it. It is the perseverance that gives us the heart to go beyond what we see as possible and lets us grab that next hold. Sloper, crimp, jug, heel hook, or mantle are all holds and techniques, all unique, and some tougher than others, much like the stages of a relationship. Parents and children are probably the toughest love relationships, but I wouldn’t know; after that probably significant others. Nonetheless all different, all have different aspects of them.

There is only one way to become a better climber, or learn how to love in a deeper compassion and that is through experience. Experience requires risk, risk is scary, but isn’t love? To allow yourself to become vulnerable physically, mentally, or emotionally is not something we want to do, but is necessary. In order to experience anything, we are at some level of threat to our well being. The greater the threat, the greater the experience, the greater the wisdom gained; I like to view it. But what is all about love? What is climbing all about? It’s different for each person. We all have our own unique views on the things we enjoy doing and what it is about them that we enjoy so much. Whatever we do in life is much like that, the one thing that everything we do is connected to life itself. Life is the greatest risk.

Life is composed of any and every action, emotion, experience, and goal. We choose what we like or want to do. We risk what we are comfortable with. Some risk a lot, some risk a little. The greater the risk, the greater the cost, the greater the chance of devastation, the greater the reward if we succeed, but always guaranteed a greater experience and wisdom gained.

I encourage you to take risks. Love is one of them, yet living life is the greatest. Some call me crazy, but I like greater experiences.

“It is better to live life risking everything, than to live life and risk nothing.”

One thing I think about a lot is life, and what exactly keeps me going or wanting to continue the weekly grind to live for the weekend; putting aside my faith and beliefs. The fuel for life is really unique for each person and the drive that keeps it going comes from that uniqueness. I often find myself wondering what is my fuel and uniqueness, but cannot derive an answer. Sports speak a lot to me and have made me development into the competitive person I am with a spirit that refuses to submit or be dominated into defeat. This spirit I have seen most clearly revealed when I play hockey. With three periods of penalties and goals, lessons for life, and one outcome; all these add up to one result: game over. But did I win of lose? It all depends on how you played.

Practice and Learning How to Play

The first time I put on skates was because my aunt took me and my brother ice skating. Despite the fact that I held onto the wall and went in circles, it was necessary for me to get a feel for the ice. Time and time again I went ice skating walking around the parameter of the rink, until I finally became comfortable. I don’t remember when it happened, just like I don’t remember my first steps, but I had to start somewhere. Just like in any endeavor in my life, it all started with a first step.

Learning to play the game of hockey came due to a great friend Frank, who was inspired by his father. We begged our parents as kids, my Dad in my case, to put out for the gear so that we could get out there and have a good one. We played tirelessly for hours from morning until night, when there was no school, from afterschool until dinner time, and day after day starting back in second grade. We learned to puck handle, pass, shoot, but most importantly how to love the game. Blood drawn or no blood drawn, we played. We played regardless of injury, because we loved the game.

Our first team was comprised of the neighborhood kids and we learned teamwork and how to piss each other off as well as celebrate with great joy. We had a rival team from another area a few streets over that lead to countless games and good times. We eventually formed a team together that would dominate the peewee league all the way through high school leaving golden figurines as reminders of our devotion, dedication, and love for this game.

Practice was fun, but playing a competitive game is what it is all about…

Pre-game

Before the game is even started, the ice is cut, teams are in their locker rooms, the fans – mostly parents - are waiting, and anticipation is in the air. The teams charge out to the ice and begin to warm up and if not already focused for the game ahead, getting their mindset in gear for the battle ahead. There are going to be moments of excitement, disappointment, and eye-opening revelations.

Much like our parents that planned or didn’t plan for our each one of us to be born, a game to play is set in motion. Strategy, preparedness, and the idea of winning is all that can be thought about in that locker room by each team. The coach there to encourage you, your team there to support and make fun of you, and only a few ticks of the clock before it starts. Let’s go boys, game time!

First Period

The face off starts the game as both team silent with all eyes on the center faceoff circle and the refs signal to the goalies if they are ready. It’s more of a formality, because you know weather or not they are ready the glove hand rises into the air and the ref blows the whistle. The puck is dropped and all hell breaks loose. Sticks clash before the puck even touches the surface as the ref throws it to the ice. Emotions, adrenaline, and egos take over as the fight for the puck begins for the next 60 minutes. Hope you ate your breakfast, you’re going too need every calorie to burn if you want to do more than just play; you need to compete to win, just like life.

The first five minutes of the game sets the mood as both teams get to size the other up and decide how to compete and beat the other team into a pulp and declare domination. The style and layout of the offense and defense is observed much like the scenery of any fantastic view. It may not have mountains, valleys, rivers, or cliffs, but the game play will climb and fall, settle and hysteria, and flow. All while crashing against each other like white water onto rocks. The boards shake, the puck glides, the fans cheer, and the teams are engaged in an epic battle charge to determine who wants it more; in just five minutes this was seen clearly in every game the Oakland Killer Bees played.

Comfort sets in as this period comes to an end as the game is paced and whether up one goal or down five, it’s still anyone’s game believe it or not. Did you come to play or compete; two periods left, and that is plenty of time to make that legendary come back or to continue to steamroll that your opponent into the pavement while they scream in agony. Two periods to go, and I hope you’re not tired. This was the easy period.

Second Period

I’m living the second period right now. I have a grasp of what I have to deal with in life and what is around me. I just need to decide how hard I want to play. I love hockey, so I better play life just as hard.

“5 minutes for fisticuffs…” “What the hell, he ran into my fist as his helmet flew off on its own. I was clearly skating away! Ref needs to get them glasses checked!”

“5 minutes for misconduct…” “I better shut my mouth before this ref starts hear how retarded his face looks…”

I hate the penalty box. Better be on point in life.

Badass!

The next best kid in town!

I believe that there is a fear that is so overlooked, so
powerful that we cringe deep inside every time we come close to it. I do not
think it is the fear of death or losing something important, as these things
will happen and are accepted; but the fear of uncertainty. Not just any
uncertainty though, it takes a special personal and embarrassing fear to put us
on tilt. I speak of the fear of: "Plugging up the toilet at someone's
dwelling by way of dropping a Godzilla-sized deuce that just will not flush.”

We all have the unspoken etiquette not to drop a deuce in someone's house,
unless absolutely necessary. And by absolutely necessary you better have a
damned good explanation why they can’t go use their own bathroom due to the
fact that they will pass out upon opening the door to the porcelain throne of
relief. And even with good explanation you may be banned from this residence
due to the catastrophe that you unleashed.

 

We all know the routine. Do it fast, do it quick, and do it
when no one will notice. However, due to these thoughts, sometimes we forget
about other details. Here is a list of questions/thoughts on your mind:

 

1. Is there any toilet paper?

2. Is there enough toilet paper?

3. How many ply is this toilet paper?

4. Are there reserves of toilet paper somewhere hidden in
this bathroom?

5. I hope I do not destroy this sanctuary of peace with my
unholy load dropping.

6. I hope I don’t have mud butt.

7. I don’t think it will stink too bad.

8. It’ll be okay.

 

We find a progression of reassurance in our mind as we start
to think more. We feel by willing it to be a quick and dirty task that some how
we will escape unnoticed and undetected by evidence, until the beast is let
loose like the atomic bomb going off. We begin to panic and wonder if anyone
heard that enormous roar of a fart leave our bottom side hatch, but that is not
the worse of it. Oh no, there is the smell to contend with. Here we encounter
the next thoughts:

 

1. It wasn’t that loud was it?

2. There is a lot of noise going on out there, so I don’t
think anyone heard it?

3. It doesn’t smell too bad I don’t think.

4. Do they have air fresher or matches in here?

5. How big is the long brown trout?

6. Too many thoughts, must remember: Do it fast, do it
quick!

7. Wipe ass and get the hell out!

 

Almost in the clear so far we might have encountered some
major embarrassing moments to ourselves during the journey, yet have no idea if
anyone has figured this out on the other side of the door. We have relieved
ourselves and feel a million times better stand up and pulling up your pants or
fixing your dress; yes you ladies experience this too.

Then the moment of truth, the moment of silence, the moment
of prayer, and the moment of the toilet handle being pushed down. And you hold
it down hoping that in someway this will add more flushing power or let more
water run into the toilet. You may chant or start to will the log to go into
the hole and be gone forever. But the only thing on your mind is; IT’S NOT FLUSHING!!!!!!! THE WATER IS RISING!!!!!! NOOOOO!!!!!!

At least it doesn’t overflow, but the water level is at the
rim of the toilet bowl.

 

 You begin to panic,
curse, and swear… the turd from hell as it sits lodged into the tiny hole that
it is supposed to go down. The tip of it pointing at you as if to taunt you in
the most glorifying way saying, “You wont get rid of me that easy.” These new
thoughts of anger and frustration begin to form and little do you know you have
spent a few minutes sitting there contemplating what to do. These thoughts are:

 

1. WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST FLUSH

2. WHO THE HELL DESIGNED THIS TOILET WITH SUCH A SMALL HOLE.

3. Calm down…

4. Do they have a plunger? (panic starts again)

5. They have to have a plunger? (panic developing)

6. WHERE IS THE F@&^ING PLUNGER! (PANIC ERUPTED *2^nd
Time)

7. Why do they have a toilet brush and no plunger (*mental
crying begins)

8. Maybe I can just use the toilet brush to smash it down
the toilet? (hopeless optimism begins)

 

You begin to smash the brown brick down into the hole along
with all the toilet paper and notice the water level is falling. A smile begins
to develop on your face. The duke of darkness curses you by saying, “It won’t
be the last time! I will have my REVENGE!” You begin to dance and flush the
toilet a second time and it washing away the rest. But it’s not over…

 

The toilet brush is covered in pieces of pieces of toilet
paper and chunks of nastiness. You think it be a good idea to leave it as is,
and place it back into the nifty housing from once it was taken from; like the
sword in the stone. This allows you to cover up the evidence, while leaving the
message of the next person to use it, usually someone’s mom, “Leave a plunger
in here next time.”

 

You manage to escape an embarrassing moment this time, but
always remember that Mr. Hankie will have his revenge!

 

And yes one day you will overflow the toilet.

 

Happy Flushing! =D

I have read a lot of blogs; some are directed toward a specific audience, a place to vent thoughts, a place to write random things you did or experienced, or a place to give your own reviews. Of course it is not limited to that, but that is a lot of what we can find most commonly on most blogs as I have witnessed. I denote and specify that my blog in fact in not any of those things, but all of them and more.

To me this is what a blog is:

People often have thoughts, emotions, feelings, experiences, ideas, revelations, and many other brain explosions and are often crammed up into our brains, which we tend to keep to ourselves. For a few of us, sharing these impulses is the best way to show or vent what is on our mind and through it, you can find out a lot about a person just from reading their blog. A blog is nothing more than an expression of a brain's orgasm.

Blog can be many things, but what is will always be is a piece of writing that will be shared over the internet, unless of course it is made private. It contains much more than just words and inner thoughts or desires. It contains more than just ramblings and venting. It contains more than just photos, videos, or music. It contains something that is intangible, transparent, and above all unquestionable stature. It contains everything and nothing all at once. Blogging contains quite simply life.

Life is what we experience it to be and though blogging we share life with one another. In life we experience many things and take interest in many things, much like blogging. We read and related to one another on levels that we never thought possible. We see and hear sights and sounds or all that is happening with life. If we are lucky to have smell-a-vision, we might even catch a whiff of its fragrance as well. Nonetheless we can experience more life through blogging while recording our own at the same time.

Limitations in life are abundant and plentiful with many walls, moats, and mountains making it a little difficult if not unsurpassable to overcome. Blogging has none. You can be the journalist, emotional expresser, commentator, news reporter, philosopher, player, or even a troll. You are as free as you wish to jot down and provide details to anything you want as long as you can live with the consequences of both good and bad dealings in cyberspace.

Keeping a log of what goes on in life or the random events that surround us day in and day out is something that our brain does for us as it records memories. And like memories we like to reminisce on them from time to time with friends, family or even strangers, but it is only what we can recall at that time in our life that we are able to share. Blogging also provides a historical account which does forget, despite the fact that sometimes we wish it would. A legend recorded is a memory that does fade and is able to be recalled at will, as long as an information superhighway connection and computer is available.

With records and accounts of what we choose to reveal to the world or one’s and zero’s also gives us hindsight into our lives. Where we came from, who we met, the places we have been, and where we want to be or strive to be from the past. An evolution of a person is contained within a blog; of course we have to continue to write in them for years to see this. It is exciting to read about and see how things turn out and how our thinking does or does not change. However, our record of the blog does not change, unless of course we use the edit button.

I choose not to use the edit button or delete my posts because that is a part of my life. I cannot delete my brain’s HD or modify my memories that have been recorded and I have been able to see how my life has changed throughout the years. I am proud of my posts as they are an expression of who I was, who I am, and what I hope for.  I accept my blog the way it is and the way it develops just as I have accepted life and its terms as it have gone through development as time goes by.

Blogging means quite simply “me.”