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Xpos3d
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Name: MeG
Country: United States
State: North Carolina
Metro: Greensboro
Interests: Atreyu/ As I lay Dying/ braceletes/Eyeliner/ Bleeding Through/ Lamb of God/ Marilyn Manson/ black lipstick/ crazy eye designs/ randomness/ Marilyn Monroe/ otep/ A perfect circle/ the used/ boys kissing/ boys in eyeliner/ Bettie Page/ Killswitch Engage/ Garbage/ phone calls/ laughing/ Slipknot/ Lacuna Coil/ Hopesfall/ Kittie/ Fear Factory/ Hatebreed/ Internet/ AIM/ green/ tongues/ lips/ Rage Against the Machine/ Walls of Jericho/ nirvana/ Glamour/ jack off jill/adolf hitler/screaming/ the nightmare before christmas/ lacuna coil/ water/ tila nguyen/ talking on the phone/edward scissorhands/ penis/ bondage/ corsets/ Skindred
Message: message me
AIM:  SinfullyxOxSweet
AIM:  DarkestEnvie
Member Since:
4/30/2004
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| - edge of a broken heart - - - - - - - - - I MOVED THIS BIATCH HERE
i pretty much deleted all my old post too.. wheeeeeeeee.. im out
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The name game:
1.Go to google
2.type in your name
3.click images tab
4. pick your three fav.
These are great haha!
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| dude.. it feels like forever since ive been here.. and i dont feel like
tlaking about whats been happening sooo.. ill tell you about today..!
wheee.. i got to school.. and i had to go change into thta damn chorus
dress.. and heels.. yess the mistress meggo was in heels.. it was
grand... well at about 8.30 we left the school and headed to wake
forest in winston salem.. the trip was boring.. and we sat and watched
people sing.. and then it was our turn..and i started freaking out.. i
thought i was gonna have a panic attack.. celeste was laughing at
me -_- .. not funny.. lol...but i got thru it.. cuz all the hot
guys left hahahah!.. and then we left and were sitting on the bus
forever.. and the guy with the mohawk (yall know how i looooove
mohawks) walked by and me and celeste started screaming out the
window.. it was hilarious.. woo.. and then we went to eat.. omg i was
starving.. and i ate like 4 plates of food.. *screams* it was sooo much
fun.. meggo made news buds.. uhhmm.. chels.. lesslie.. and chris.. woo
yay for the mistress.. but we had waaayyy too much fun there.. and
celeste even got dissed by the waitress.. TWICE .. *laughs hard*
oo my it was grand.. then we left.. and slept the whole way home.. that
was wonderful.. wellp.. ill update this shit latterrrrrrrrrr..
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| well.. todays the wake thing.. im not sure if i wanna see the body.. it
makes me all depressed.. everyone keeps saying im very unstable at the
moment.. i havnt quite noticed it.. and im having a hard time talking..
i talked to amanda yesterday that was it.. i just i dunno.. i feel like
i dont need to talk.. my whole world has changed.. and im afraid im
gonna go bahk to school and someone is gonna say the wrong thing to
me.. and im gonna lose it.. amandas comming tonight and hopefully she's
comming to the funeral tomorrow.. it means soo much to me to have her
there.. i just thought id let all u know i miss you soo much at
school.. i wanna come bahk but i dont think i can handle it yet.. mom
wants to find a new place to live.. which is fine with me.. the house
seems to have too many memories to stay.. mom hasnt been home since
monday.. she says she cant stay here.. =/ i can.. and i think i
will tonight.. i stayed at nanas yesterday with robyn harlie and ivie..
everyone has been soo good to the family.. rodney is gonna drive
pawpaw's motor cycle in front of the line of cars tomorrow at the
funeral.. and i think thats wonderfull.. it means alot to the family..
i read his obituary in the paper this morning.. my eyes teared up.. i
just know im gonna break down tonight.. on the up side of things.. i
got a really nice outfit to wear.. and its nice enough but still has
that meggo style to it.. well.. i guess ill update tonight.. tell
everyone whats going on ..
from left to right : Grannie Jackie.. my mom.. my pawpaw and me on his lap..
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| - - - Feb. 28, 2005
i walked into the hospital room.. and he was gone.. his tan skin turned
pale.. and his face was lifeless.. i held myself up against the wall
and just cried.. and i have no idea how to go on.. the one person i
loved more than anything in this world.. the sweetest man ive ever
known.. he's gone.. and i dont know how to handle it.. ive never had
something like this happen.. i hate this.. it shouldnt have been him..
other people deserve this.. he doesnt.. i dunno why he had to leave
this world.. and i want so bad to go with him.. our family will never
be the same.. nothing will ever be the same.. i feel like a completly
different person..
.. i mite not be at school for a while.. i mite be bahk next week i dunno.. i just want to be alone.. or with my family...
R.I.P. Robert "Pawpaw" Edwards.. we love you and miss you sooo much..
that sweet loving face.. ill never be able to see again.. and ill never
be able to climb in that big leather recliner and take a long afternoon
nap with you.. ill never be able to walk into your house and the first
thing i hear is "heyy baby" .. ill never again get called to the office
on my birthday and there be a huge boquet of flowers just for me.. ill
never again here that laugh.. or the rumble of the motorcycle comming
up the drive way.. or your voice waking me up on christmas morning
telling me breakfast is ready.. and ill never be able to go to the
beach with you again and watch you and robyn get drunk together.. ivie
wont remember much of you.. and harlie will only remember a little..
kalie wont be able to hear you and neither will madie.. i wont get to
see you hoop and holler at my graduation.. or have u walk me down the
aisle at my wedding.. or let you approve of my prom date.. or meet you
at the hospital to see your great grandchildren being born.. ill never
get to hear those stupid redneck jokes.. or argue with you over whether
its bugs bunny or bugs rabbit.. ill never get to ride in the big truck
with you again.. your house will never be the same.. it will never
smell the same.. and the bike will get dusty.. and we'll never be able
to take pictures together again.. or meet playboy bunnys again.. and
ill never be able to have that great chilli in the summer time..or come
to the house and hear the stereo blasting.. and listening to the oldies
will never be the same.. and ill never be able to go bahk on the boat
and just cruise around the lake.. all these things ill never get to do
again with you.. and it breaks my heart soo much.. why did it have to
be you? i dont understand.. ill never hear the silver of your
cowboy boots walking down the hallway.. ill never get that edwards look
for saying something stupid.. nana will have to live alone.. and go day
by day without you.. and ill cry myself to sleep everynite.. and no
more calls on snow days telling us not to go driving.. or those late
nite calls just to say goodnite.. and never again will you have to come
over in the summer to help my momma fix the lawnmower or what ever else
it is that she's broken.. and the biscuits will never be homemade again
the way you made them..ill never be able to eat beside you at the bar
again in the kitchen.. or go up to green's and see you smile and
introduce me as "my first lovely granddaughter" and be soo proud.. and
ill never get to hear you argue with me about my hair.. or the clothes
im wearing.. and the elvis xmas cd will never sound the same.. ill
never be able to hear momma or robyn say "we're gonna go see daddy" or
hear ivie screaming your name .. or you telling me to find your
glasses.. or hear that famour "what dya say grace".. i hate that your
gone.. and all i want is you to be here.. with us.. this family
will never be the same.. it will never be ok
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| - who will i run to - -
hmm mom just left...
sooo uh Saturday: i did absoloutly nothing! my lazy
ass just sat at home.. well i was bored out of my mind.. and then
amanda asked if i wanted to come stay with her and katie and of course
i did... so i went over there.. and we decorated my other pants.. which
everyone will see wenesday.. haha it was fun.. and then sunday we were
lazy.. again.. and sooo we went to katies house.. which was awesome..
her house is huge.. we watched Polterguiest.. becuz amanda was the only
one who had never seen it.. then her mom sent us out with 25 dollars..
to rent another movie.. and get something to eat.. i dont think matt
could quite handle the three of us.. but of course we got
napoleon..=] and mcdonalds.. and headed bahk.. after the
movie.. me and katie and matt watched children of the corn 2 and
laughed the whole time.. amanda had already went upstairs and went to
bed.. at about 2 me and katie went upstairs.. and just watched tv in
her room.. and amanda started talking to us in her sleep.. which wa
hillarious.. and well monday morning.. we uhh.. well i made breakfast
for everyone =] .. and then we just stayed in our pajamas.. all
day.. hah and my mom came to get me at about 3.. and ive been home
since then.. and i already wanna get out of here.. haha im
stressed.. my grandfather is still in the hospital and they said that
hes not gonna be able to leave.. and i hate that.. hes more my dad than
my real dad is.. and if something happens to him.. i dont know what our
family is gonna do.. me and robyn.. are handling it the worst.. i cant
take it.. last week i went up to the hospital and he was on life
support... i was in the room not even 5 minutes and i just kinda went
into a panic attack.. i cant stand seeing him like that.. the
worst part is.. i know that hes never be the same again... and i dunno
how im gonna make it... ive always wanted him to outlive me.. i know
thats foolish.. but i did.. i always want him to be there.. when
somethings going on.. hes always helped me and my mom and my whole
family through everything.. and without him.. its gonna be absoloute
hell.. i cant stand it.. i dunno how im gonna get thru school.. i just
keep hoping that some kind of miracle will happen and he'll be ok.. and
things will go bahk to normal.. but thats a very far off
possibility.. ive got my music as loud as i can get it.. but compared to these thoughts.. it only sounds like a faint whisper..
this song reminds me of him.. i took some parts out tho...
Who I could tell my deepest
fears
And you were the one
Who always wiped away my tears
So now I've lost everything
Cause now your
Youre gone forever more
So who will I
Who
will I run to
Who will I turn to
Now that you left me behind
Who
will dry my tears
When I cry
Who will I run to
And who will I turn
to
Now that you're not here
In my life
How could I be so blind
Not to see what's before
my eyes
I'll get you back here with me
If it takes the rest of my life
Cause I would do anything
Cause I want you back forever more
Who will I run to
Who will I turn to
Now that you left me behind
Who will dry my tears
When I cry
Who will I run to
And who will
I turn to
Now that you're not here
In my life
I will gladly
journey
Across the deep blue sea
If I could know
That I would have
you here with me
I realize that I was blind
But now I finally see
I
need you back here in my life
Who will I run to
Who will I turn to
Now that you left me behind
Who will dry my tears
When I cry
Who will I run to
Who will I turn to
Now that you?re
not here
In my life
Who will be there for me
Who's gonna rescue
me
Who's gonna share my dreams
Who's gonna mend this broken heart> | | |
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