| should i have taken a look in the mirror
before opening my mouth to speak
the look and color of my face
could only say so many things
my lips would studder
thoughts beneath my skin
particularly read
by a specific set
of naked eyes
something missing inside
you longed to hide
behind blue eyes
if you had seen
the warning
blushing through my cheeks
you would have understood
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| would you look at that its October 23 already. Seems i "forgot" about
this journal. sorta slipped my mind i guess cept for Pickles of course
i keep track of her journal as if it were my own. haha how ironic. I
feel... idk how to describe this feeling lets just call it
not-as-happy-as-i-have-been-lately-b/c-you-fucked-it-up. not you
personally but you hypothetically. now if only this person could fit it
through their skull and wake the fuck up to realize wth theyre doin to
me. but oh wait thats not gonna happen. This new found happiness lasted
oh id say 2 weeks but maybe thats b/c the last time i had a normal
conversation with anyone was prolly that long ago. there are some
people i still have normal daily conversations with and i love those
people but not to be rude/mean/bitchy/snottball but the "others" go
behind your back anyway. the lies and other various consequences for
the supposed "crimes" ive committed. its like im plastered all over the
school. "he" seems to have said one thing or another to various
know-nothings who believe everything they hear forcing me to scream
with laughter at the stupid things i hear about myself. i feel such
hatred towards those who choose to take what isn't theirs in a
subliminal sense. screw you for stealing from me. i dare you to stare
me in the eye and talk to my face rather than my back.
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| wow i haven't written or posted anything in a wicked long time.... so much shizz goin on... and i have a livejournal which i dont write in either... lol but today is like the first day in a loooong time where im home alone...not even my sista is here which is amazing cuz shes usually locked in her room being a LONER but some fun stuff has happened in the past week... i keep meaning to write it down cuz i def dont wanna forget these times cuz they were "hella good" lol like goin to the creek by coles yesterday and goin on "the thing with the thing that makes you go wooooosh on the thingy" haha cole descriptions and k-rock on friday and left-handed thieves on saturday and movies at taras with laura and tom and kara haha fun times then the hott guy that kept following me on sunday and last week running around my house with the ducks hiding them and my mom freakin out... but at least all the "cheese drama" is semi-settled
*sigh* so many memories i would live this summer over and over again  |
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| i stole this from my good trackie buddy sam gonna miss him
I was reliving all those times we shared, and it's hard, because you used to be so strong but time has changed you. You turned away. I keep trying to escape from the past. But those days used to mean so much. We stood side by side and nothing else mattered. We were straightedge and at least I still am. Did you forget about what we said? Or did it just not mean as much? Sitting here with my head in my hands. Wondering what happened to us. Now only a a whisper remains of the person I once knew. We came, we conquered those days. But now, you're gone. Don't tell me that you're the same. |
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| clouds roll in
lounging on the deck
its been years
smile so distinct
hours of laughter
forget about the drama
of my life before now
I've found my destiny
although still lost
searching for closure
theres a hole in my soul longing for repair
time after time
i was always there
but moving on
damnnn im scared |
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