XxBrOkenLiEsXx's Xanga

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Thu, 23 Jun 2005 13:32:46 GMT

well im at jenns.. and it was fun until i talked to my mom.. :( she is such a bitch.. i mean she knows in going though shit right know and she still insists on yelling at me.. She is never normal.. She only cares abut herself and will... what a big surpirze.. ill wrte more later

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Wed, 22 Jun 2005 17:41:08 GMT

If only you know how much this meant...

If only you realized im not okay...

If only . It was all a dream

Even if shes not Endless Tears

So take thiS razor and sign
your name across my wrist'
so everyone will know who
left me like this.*

well.. things are changing so rapidly.... My brother is leaving for the ARMY my cousin might have brain damnage and she is only 5 years old.. My grandmother has lung cancer.. My grandfather has a heart problem.. And my mother is gone... It's amazing how many times i can go through shit.. and yet there is still more shit for me to go through... when will it ever stop? its like i cant get a brake.... nothing is going to be alright in the end will it? so many people tell me that is will be okay and time will show the way.. but im the one that has to believe in that not them. and i just dont... I really dont!!!! I sit up in my room at night and just wonder what went wrong again... Nothing i do will ever make it right again.. nothing

u will feel my anger
u will feel my pain
u will feel my torment
driving me insane
I can`t fight these feelings
they will bring you pain

| I ~~Don't~~ Need You |

•Your choice is [black or white, not a shade of ~~gray~~]• •Because in love, there's no such thing as [halfway]• •|Devotion| can't be swayed, |emotions| can't be torn• •I'd rather we be hot or cold than 'lukewarm'•

*Don't Make Me Cry*

so next time when you look at my wrist

My Bløød ~~Red~~ Sky...

And say nobody in this world thinks about you

You can remember I do....

Monday, June 06, 2005

Mon, 06 Jun 2005 02:26:23 GMT

well there is alot to be said.... but there is also alot that cant be said... alot happend this week.... ALOT!! but i dont feel like i want to say it on here.... go to my space its all on there....

Saturday, May 28, 2005

Sat, 28 May 2005 01:13:26 GMT

Hey

well I still dont feel good i have no idea why im still sick... ughh!!!! well i dont know what im doing this weekend.. its the long weekend.....

Well nothing new is really happening.. I still dont want to accept the fact that my life is changing so fast.. My moms "boyfriend" is moving in.. and i dont want him to.. She didnt even ask me... What a bitch.... She is making me help her move shit so we can contor to his needs.. i dont think so.... all my life I never did anything out of my way to please someone and i wont start now... If you dont like the way i am or act then fuck you... im not changing to fit your prefrences.... I dont know what i will be like when hes here.. i dont like the fact that hes taking the place of my dad.. that blows.... Not only do i have my mom breathing down my neck.. always wanting to know what im doing.... Now i have him all in my life... this really does suck bad...

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Sun, 22 May 2005 20:30:29 GMT

With Silent Screams Of Pain... With Fading Thoughts of Rain... Nothing Will Be The Same...Because Im The One To Blame...

Well nothing to new i think.. im still sick and hating it.... i have 19 days of school left...!!! bu i dont want to leave my friends.. :( this has been the best, well one of the best years.... i love my teachers.. and most of the kids in my class.... with the exception of a few... But this has also been a hard year... Dealing with alot at home and with myself.. Theres been alot going on and i cant allow myself to bring that to school.. so when im at school im someone different. a fake.... but im getting older and i cant keep doing this.... Im ruining everything i had going for me.. but what did i have going for me?? I really fucked things up bad with someone and i dont know what to do... And my mom wants to throw me in a detention center because "Im out of control'' i dont know what she thinks out of control means... i dont think she saw the kids who go on the muary show or whatever... She has no idea how good she has it with me.. sure im a little fucked u but hell wouldnt you exspect me to be after what happend in my life.. i see it as. life is like a road.. Its long and curvey, It has many bumps and sharp turns, if you dont pay attention you will fall.. there are many holes in the road and in life... If you dont fill them you will fall in the holes and slowly die from lack of hope.... Some roads are dark and some lives are dark, there do not yet have light in them and can not see past what hurts...

For some this is all they have....

Monday, May 16, 2005

Mon, 16 May 2005 21:20:00 GMT

Hey well i had the Best time at ruths!!! Kyle is so funny!! Becca is always tellin me her butt is smiling at me HAHA lol shes great!! kyle and Ruth were upstairs in her room and were talking then i came up and i was like ruth wheres kyle and she was like i have no idea!! then im like wait then who were you talking to.. then shes like oh just my imangnary friend haha lol.. then shes like kyles hiding.. then i kicked the door to see if he was hiding behind there then i looked in the closet.. then he started laughing then i found him on the floor with pillows on him HAHA.. lol.. then Chirs came and gave him a gift WHAT A GIFT!!! Then , Becca.ruth and me went for a ride for about an hour then came home and chilled.. then saturday was fun all day we went around getting stuff for steves party.. then we went to get kyle then came home... its was soo much fun! then it was steves party!! fun fun fun...... when everyone went home me and ruth played games on the computer and she kicked my ass!!! then Becca and kyle came over after they went to philly.. then Kyle left then Nick came over .... Then Steve came home at about 3.30am.. soo enough said about him... well all in all i have soo much fun... Hailey was sleeping on me for 2 nights AWW shes soo cute i love that girl.... wel i have to go and go to the mall to look for stuff for joe? i dont know why... ttyl

peace

ilu

Friday, May 13, 2005

Fri, 13 May 2005 19:26:02 GMT

Hey Well im going to Ruths and Steves I cant wait.. me and Ruth were counting down the days... lol.. Saturday is Steves Birthday!!! I cant wait to hear Hailey sing i love you, yo

u love me aww i Love that girl!!! Then the party is tommorrow!! well i must be off!!! so

ilu

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Tue, 10 May 2005 18:16:00 GMT

well i didnt go to school because i had a migrain... my mother is pissing me off agian nothing new... I'm chillen with Ruth and Stephen for his birthday!! Cant wait to see them all.. and i get to see HAiley!! yeah!! i missed them.. well... i dont know what else to say so Peace

hellokiddays: heyyyyyy, whos this???????
Lost N Ur LiesXX: is this kim?
hellokiddays: yeahhhh
Lost N Ur LiesXX: its Shawnna
hellokiddays: HEYYY!!!!

HAHA ^

dudette42069:OMG HEY SHAWNNA

Lost N Ur LiesXX: HEY!! lol haha

dudette42069: you habe know fuckin idea what you leaving PV in all... i had to put up with PV shit for like ever

Lost N Ur LiesXX: aww poor little whore.. JK

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Sat, 07 May 2005 01:59:38 GMT

Well... I'm sick of people all together... I can only trust one person.. and i really hate people that act like.. i cant do this.. and all they want is attention.. well woo hoo you got attention... okay!!!!! so go fuck yourselves..

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Wed, 04 May 2005 01:54:23 GMT

Well... Life sucks yet again... so much stress.. and pressure... I fuckin hate it... Nothing is ever going to go right is it?? My mom is pissing me off... Major!!! she is always omg i miss "Will" omg omg!!! then she wants me to feel bad.. but i wont.. I will never "feel sorry" for her ever!! She always makes it seem right to people.. when its not!!