Apart of me feels happy, and full of life....but the other part of me feels sad and lonely. Every where I turn, I end up in a new struggle, that im forced to get through it myself. Having to feel left out, and pushed to the side, isnt really at all helping me. Everyday I just feel like curling up, and just sheltering myself from the world. Eventually ill find myself whole, and ill feel wanted. But in this point in time, I just wanna run away, and hide all my feelings from everyone. The one person I felt I could turn to isnt always there, as I expected him to be. Being in love doesnt mean everything is going to be perfect, although I really wish it did. I have the most amazing boyfriend  I could ever ask for. But lately it just seems like we're actually growing apart. Summer has changed everything. Everyone is acting differently, and spreading it to others, making people feel outta place. I hold back what I truely feel to everyone, as I face eachday alone. Friends grow up with you, but in the end there not at all as close as you wished theyd always be. Picturing myself in the future, is still all a big blur, but unfortunately ill have to decide which path I wanna travel down. Life isnt just about fun and games, its about facing fears and facing reality....

Life isnt at all what I expected. Growing up, is apart of life I no, but I seriously didnt think it would have soo many twists and turns. Honestly, my life isnt all that bad, but then again I do have some down times. Im currently in a serious relationship with an amazing guy. Its been 9 and a half months, and still going strong. Of course we have our moments, and things go down hill, but we've both proved to everyone that we can pretty much get through anything that faces us. I honestly wouldnt know what i'd do with out him now that he's been in my life for quite sometime. This summer isnt bad, but it also isnt the greatest. Being a senior this year is a big shocker, and a really big thing taking place in my life. The hard times in my past are finally over, and has definitely made me the better person I am today. Years go by so quickly, but yet not a memory fades...&& pretty much ever situation I end up in, I look back in my past and relate that nothing could never be as worse. Again, I dont really have anyone I can truely turn to, and ask for advise, so I guess im on my own with pretty much getting all my feelings out, thats why I turned to this. I hope that one day, I can wake up and face reality, with no fears at all. In my heart and mind, I'm still a kid...but realistcly I need to face the world around me, and become an young adult that I am.....