Marriage and babies...

Being pregnant in 90 degree weather sucks.  When I first found out I was pregnant, I remember thinking, Oh, I can wear all those cute little maternity dresses in the summer!  I think I own 1 maternity dress and I definately feel less than 'cute' when I wear it.  It's kinda funny because everyone seems to love my belly but me.  I mean I love the little guy inside my belly, don't get me wrong.  But I think it's amusing that everyone seems to think the pregnant girl is so adorable...everyone except the pregnant girl.  Everyone at work is like, "Oh you're so beautiful, cute, etc." and I just feel like a giant toad.  hahaha  *sigh*  4 weeks left and counting...

On a different note, one of my best friends is coming in from Chicago tomorrow morning.  She's only staying for a couple of days but she can't make it to my baby shower so she's makin' a special trip to spend 2 whole days with me!! I can't wait...I haven't seen her in close to a year now!  It's amazing how time and friends get away from you...

Speaking of...3 of my friends are getting married soon too!  I think one's getting married end of September, one in December and the other one in October.  (Congrats Gill, Danielle and Karen!! I love you guys!)  I can't believe how grown up we all are!  Seriously!  Well, just because we do grown up things like have babies and get married, I guess that doesn't necessarily mean we act like we're all grown up...

Losing it...

If anyone was wondering how to lose friends or how to instantly become the oldest person of your age group or the one nobody calls anymore...just get pregnant!  I mean it...it's guaranteed to work every time. 

 I realized this was going to be difficult in and of itself but I never imagined all the outside extra things that were going to make this even harder and I haven't even had the child yet!  I thought this was supposed to be the happiest time and once people got over the initial shock of it, they would be supportive and helpful.  I didn't realize it was going to feel this lonely.  I know, I know it's just the hormones talking...and while that is quite possible, it doesn't make my fears and feelings any less real.  If your boyfriends parents/siblings/friends are more interested or more excited about the other child, it puts a slight damper on your happiness.  I mean it's great if your family is supportive, helpful, excited, etc.  But it's like there's this complete other half of him that I can't touch.  Like a whole other life thats inaccessible to me.  And I often find myself wondering what I've done and will I ever be able to deal with his "other life".  I have let this bug me for so long and I have lived with it every day so far that it just feels normal to acknowledge it every day, hate the situation every day, pray for the strength to get over it every day, maybe cry a little and then move on...every day.  It's like this extra weight I just have to deal with and lug around.  But it's beginning to break me down and wear me out.  I am so exhausted, so hopeless and so fucking angry that I feel like I could explode if I had the energy.  I'm on autopilot, just going through the motions of every single day and not getting anywhere.  Don't get me wrong, I love him and I love my baby, but I feel like a little part of me crumbles and breaks every day and I don't know how much more busted up I can get before I completely break down.

I don't care...this will always be funny no matter how old it is!!!

THE POOPIE LIST

(Don't deny it...you know exactly what I'm talking about here...)

Ghost Poopie

The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet.

 

Clean Poopie

The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.

 

Wet Poopie

The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and underwear so you won't ruin them with a stain.

 

Second Wave Poopie

This happens when you're done Poopie-ing and you've pulled up your pants to your knees, and you realize that you have to Poopie some more.

 

Pop-A-Vein-In-Your-Forehead-Poopie

The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.

 

Gassy Poopie

It's so noisy, everyone within earshot is laughing.

 

Drinker Poopie

The kind of Poopie you have the morning after a long night of drinking. Its most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.

 

Lincoln Log Poopie

The kind of Poopie that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.

 

Corn Poopie

Self-explanatory.

 

Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-Poopie Poopie

The kind where you want to Poopie but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.

 

Spinal Tap Poopie

That's where it hurts so badly coming out, you would swear it was leaving you sideways.

 

Wet Cheeks Poopie (The Power Dump)

The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, your butt gets splashed with water.

 

Liquid Poopie

The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out your butt and splashes all over the toilet bowl.

 

Mexican Poopie

It smells so bad your nose burns.

 

The Surprise Poopie

You're not even at the toilet because you are sure you're about to fart, but oops.......a Poopie!!!

 

The Dangling Poopie

This Poopie refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are done Poopie-ing it. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose.

The "Porridge" Poopie
             The type of poopie that comes out like toothpaste, and just keeps coming.  You have two choices: (a) flush and keep going, or (b) risk it piling up to your butt while you sit there helpless.

The "I Think I'm Turning into a Bunny" Poopie
             When you drop lots of little round turds that look like marbles and make  tiny splashing sounds when they hit the water.

Happy June!

Alright it's been a hot minute since I've written anything so lemme see what I can come up with.....

I'm taking a break from my painting project...I decided a few days ago that I was gonna paint the dresser and shelves my gramma gave me for the baby room...and it's taking me forever!  First of all the furniture is painted this antique white color and I wanted to paint all the drawers baby blue.  This ended up taking two days and two coats of paint.  Not to mention the fact that I had to take all the handles off of the drawers and screw them back on when I was done...I have two drawers left and I'm not sure I have the will power anymore. 

Ryan's at work for the night (well until about 11ish anyways).  He hates his job so much and I feel awful.  I mean, he wasn't entirely happy at Friday's towards the end but it was never this bad.  Plus, at Macaroni Grill they are so anal about the uniform, it drives me crazy.  His shirts have to be ironed and starched every day...yes, this is only a serving job.  But he does seem to make good money there and I think that's the only thing keeping him there.  Well that and the fact that he has to have a job.  It makes me feel even worse when he sucks it up and goes every day and I go into my job for a few hours at a time.  Or, like today, I went home yet again because I was feeling like shit.  This is probably the second or third time I've left work early because I started feeling all dizzy and nauseous and shit.  I know, I know, I'm pregnant...but sometimes I feel so useless.  Because I get tired all the time or I'll be feeling fine than all of a sudden I feel like I'm gonna puke or whatever.  I think I need to take it slower...but then I'll feel even more useless.  God help me when I go on maternity leave.  I already feel like a giant waste of space most of the time....I can only imagine how I'm gonna feel when I'm not working at all. 

*sigh* I think I worry too much....

It's a small world after all...

So as if the whole scene in the waiting room yesterday wasn't wierd enough.....Ryan and I ordered pizza tonight from Papa John's right down the road.  And our pizza delivery guy turns out to be none other than....the potty mouth irate guy from the doctor's office yesterday!  No shit....I almost lost it when he came up to the door.  Ryan, however, wasn't nearly as amused by the whole thing as I was.  It is indeed a small small world...