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| IM HOME EVERYONE!!!!! YEA YEA YEA!!! SEE YA ALL LATAHS | | |
| have u ever had the feeling where... uve been having a real bad day.... and all u want ryte then was to see the ryte person? someone that would jess brighten ur day and make u smile and laugh? well... today was that way... and the funny thing about it was.. i actually saw him while me and mai roommate were eating at the shopping center and i saw marchial... heh... so i call him cuz he was standing outside... and i sit there and watc him as the phone rings... the pone rung twice and he looked at his phone and what do u expect him to do...? answer it ryte..? heh... but no... he jess looks at it and hits cancel.... and the whole time mai room mate and i were watching him. he then proceeds into the shopping center and he sees us sitting there... and he comes up to us smilin and all playin it off like nothing had happened. so he comes up to us and asks us what was going on etc and we jess sit there amazed at how oblivious he was.... we then ask him y he jess did what he did and he gives us different answers and i was jess like... " great.. mai day has gone bad to shit ..." that really broke mai spirits then..... i mean. jess as u thought ur day was gonna get better... it gets worse... what are the odds of that happenin...? hrmm... then again.. with mai shitty luck its no surprise that things happened the way that they did. and jess now... i tried telling him something... and all he did was turn around and say he couldnt hear me and jess fell asleep.... i wonder why mai heart is always broken and why i always am the one feeling the way that i do...? i jess keep asking maiself over and over again why why why.. and everyone keeps telling me its not u its not u... but... then why am i always in the same predicament..? y do i keep putting maiself in the same situation? i keep believing everyone when they say its not me... but... im really not sure about that anymore.... oh... and after all that happened in the morning.. he had bought me cards telling me he was sorry and everything... but then not even try and listen to me when im saying something...? why do i always let people walk all over me...? i try and keep being nice and i always get back up after i get put down jess to be shot down again... am i being too nice..? WHAT IS MAI PROBLEM?! i need to find an answer... i need something to change... i needsomething... cuz i cannot keep taking all these hits... ive taken too many and im afrai one of these times im jess not gonna get back up at all.. | | |
| hey everyone.... guess i sould updae since i havewnt in a while...
wy is it that everytime u think u find someting that makes u happy it jess is too good to be true...? dont u hate that...? well.. i thought i had found someone that was ryte and made me happy .. but it turns out.... that he cares more about everything that is goung around us to pay attention to us... why cant anything last for me..? everyone keeps telling me that its not mai fault but eveerything always turns out te same way.... whenever anything looks too good to be true it is.... the other day i bought him a card jess cuz to brighten up his day but he didnt say anyting abou it.... didnt even bring it up.. until i asked about it.. he jess says yea i got it... i guess it is what i do.... everything jess turns to crap... now hes more worried about mai room mate tan anything else... hes always so willing to help everyone else. mai roomates boyfriend even says that he seems happier with her than he is with me... is it the way i act? is it the things i do? why cant i do anything ryte...? i keep losing the people that i care about so much and i always end up in the beginning. i try to not let it bother me but ... sometings jess keep coming back up because everything is so familiar with mai past. i dont know y i even try anymore. i jess end up hurting maiself even more. i try and show them how muh i care and how much i love them... man... heh ... u dont know how much i care for this one... i dunno what i would do if the same thing ever happened again.... i try and be happy and grateful for everything that i have but its hard to keep it up sometimes. i keep trying to cange for people but it ends up dying.... i remember when i first met him when he always made me smile.. always made me laugh... and always wanting to know how things were.. but now.... its like were so distant.... maybe its all in mai head.... hes always working so hard and coming back tired .... i know its hard to do anything when ure tired... so i dont know why i get so upset about it... i jess know that i havent opened maiself up to a person in a loooong while... and u all know all the shit that i went through before.. which tells u i really care. i jess dont know why i feel the way i do....
....... maybe its cuz im scared of the same things happening to me again....
please jess let it be in mai imagination and let me jess be over exaggerating...
i wish that everything wouldnt have to be so difficult...
anyway... i cant wait to come home.... get away from this horrid place. i love u all cant wait to see everyone again!
love always,
cecilia
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| hi everyone.... ghavent updated in a while so i decided to...UPDATE! lol... anyways nothing much has been going on here as always.
oh! this is marchial... hes gonna say something to everyone : )
:: hi this is marchial, i am very glad to meet everyone and i hope that everyone is having a great weekend and i hope that u guys have a safe and wonderful memorial day.
awww... isnt he so sweet!!! anyways.. i hope everyone is safe and having a good weekend... and nobody better get into any trouble before i get home cuz thats mai job! >.<
well.. guess thats it everyone. =P | | |
| hehe..... man am i in such a good mood!!! ive met someone recently that i can actually relate to..... hes so appreciative. :) such a great person! anyways.... jess 3 more months before im home!! yay! cant wait... imma sit here and count down to the last minute! haha.... im craving some boba milk tea!!! no lie!!! :: drool :: lolz j/p.... about the droolin. well.. i need to get ready for work now.. ill write again laers when i have something to talk about. | | |
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