| Welp, first semester is officially over, minus my 8:30am psychology final (which takes place in about 3 and a half hours  ). It was a good time, I probably partied way more than I should have, especially towards the end, but you live and learn. Spring semester I'll actually study and do the things that good students do, especially considering I'm taking pretty intense courses. my line up includes: Human Anatomy & Physio I, Intellectual Heritage, Eastern & Western Philosophy, Basic Spanish I and Men & Women in American Society. That's at least 2 specifically writing intensive courses which means I'll have papers coming out of my ass. I'm changing my major from psychology to nursing, at least that's what I think I'm doing, the world of college is confusing to say the least. But I'm enjoying myself, and learning so much about who I am and how I interact with the world around me. I absolutely adore my roommates and the friends I've made here, they really are like my family away from home. There is significantly less drama here than at home, which makes me a much happier person. Honestly I think I'm becoming more relaxed and happy and not the only one who's noticed it. Not saying that college is easy, or a piece of partying-your-ass-off-cake, it's a challenge, and in the beginning I was beyond miserable, but it is an experience and you have to learn to take the good with the bad and make the most of it knowing that you become a better person in the end.
While I enjoyed most of my first semester at Temple, it's good to know I'll be on my way home this afternoon. I will miss Temple and my Temple family, but I'm excited to share the holidays with my friends and yes, my family. In 5 short(ish?) weeks I will return again for the start of my second half of this journey through freshman year at college and I'm excited.
I wish everyone luck on their finals that are left, and for a safe trip home, wherever that may be. Happy holidays, share them with the ones you love, and the ones that love you, because that's the best way to create memories.
  
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| So...college...
Yeah, I've got nothing.
Which really could be directly related to me feeling unsure, alone, lonely, lost, hopeless, anti-social, neurotic, tense, etc.
On the flipside, I feel like I've made some new discoveries in the past week about myself, my relationship with my family, my friendships, the way I connect with others, etc. And these new discoveries make me feel hopeful and give me a sense of what I need to do in order to fix things.
So while I feel empty and isolated I also feel confident and reborn/renewed.... like things make sense.
I have absolutely no idea what is going on with me. I think that is the only thing I am sure of.
I think I'm having slight difficulties adjusting.
Oy vey.
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Honestly I'm feeling like I took five steps forward and ten steps back.
I can't shake it.
So much for inner peace...
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| Graduation was so anticlimactic.
Perhaps I'm just emotionally retarded when it comes to major lifetime milestones.
Or maybe it just wasn't that important to me.
It's neither an end, nor a beginning, it's just a step along the way; another hurdle to jump over; another hoop to jump through; another bridge to cross; another brick in the wall, and the list of cliches continues.
I need a road trip, just me, myself and I driving far away from this place. I need time to reflect, to question life, to gain perspective on myself and other matters. Blaring music, driving fast, feeling free and at ease soothes my soul. I need to drive away from the pain, the past, the memories that should have been forgotten long ago. I need to let go of the past and realize that it is what it is and I can't keep burning bridges.
I need to find inner peace.
So I'm taking the Jeep for the weekend and going to my Aunt's in Maryland. Hopefully I'll return refreshed, rejuvenated and relieved. If not, I know I won't come home empty-handed; this trip will have an effect on me, I can feel it.
I'm driving 95
And I'm driving (it) away
I shine a little more lately
Someday love will finally be enough
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| 18 years old today and life is looking great.
I've reached the point of actual happiness in my life.
It feels
so
good!!!
Seniors '07, Temple '11 .... hell freaking yes!
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