|
XxWeathRWayConSprcyxX
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Country: United States
State: Washington
Birthday: 5/31/1987
Gender: Male
Interests: Playing guitar, being with friends, listening to good music while in the car, road trips are quite appealing, not to mention...
Expertise: None. (I could put something that I wish it was up here. But haha, I'M NOT GONNA.)
Message: message me
Member Since:
11/29/2002
|
|
| "A person is never happy except at the price of some ignorance." - Anatole France
So after looking around I've reailzed there a lot more people involved in xanga from our school than I thought. And I wonder why I don't know them. There are so many people I wish to know or get to know but I don't. And why? Would they not accept me? Do they think I'm somebody different or won't except them? I'm done with the sadness, everybody needs to move on, I need to heed my own and advice and have a better outlook, anyways, not everybody in this world is shallow, not everybody bases everybody on looks. And for some reason I realize my logic is finally wrong, since I've been feeling unaccepted for my fucking appearance. Of all things. It should not be a shock to figure out that people WILL judge on PERSONALITY, or other characteristics that are a million times more important. How screwed up is that, that it took me THIS long to realize that!!! It took me forever. Now - No regrets, nothing to worry about, i'm going to have fun, and the little things, well they'll be little. We'll see how long this lasts, but I really hope it's as long as possible. I can't worry about every little thing. If I could feel this content forever I wouldn't need anything else.
This is me I guess, nothing more, or nothing less.
http://www.xanga.com//home.asp?user=ThisIsntHighSchool | | |
| This song is like the saddest song in the world, it's like one you would kill yourself too. So mellow but meaningful and depressed, the tone resembles the way you feel when you've completely given up. I have no good reason to be sad. I do not deserve to be sad, others deserve to be sad, others who have dying or dead parents, dead wives, sick and fragile loved ones that they watch lose their last hours. People who have nothing like the things I do. People who have no computer to write their "fancy" fucking "xanga" entries on. But I still do. I still do feel sad. And people drilling into my head "You have nothing to be sad about" can only make me one more thing - guilty. Maybe I have a self-defeating complex, or maybe it's strictly scientific - a fucked up thing in my head. All in all, I just find those excuses.
I wish I wouldn't cause so much pain to anybody. For those who aren't honest with me though - you deserve it.
| | |
| It's
about
time
for
you
know
what...
It's 7:46 on the first day...and I'm at home. I don't have to go until 4th period. Isn't that AWESOME?!?! Well wait since it goes 1,3,5,7... I don't go until 5th really, then I have no 2nd period so I have an hour and 15 minutes for lunch. I gotta go back to school in an hour, but hey an hour of freetime is cool with me. I'm doing something I normally wouldn't do this early. Eat food. I am very awake for some reason and I'm kind of relieved that school has started.
WHAOOOOOAOOHAHGHASOGOOAGOAOGOASNGNJSNJDNJGNJFUCKBEANSANDAHAMSANDWICH.
LUKE HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY YOU...okay I'm gonna save the insult. I WAS GONNA PAY FOR YOUR LAP DANCE TONIGHT! | | |
| So I could pretty much care less that the summer is practically over. One more night. One last one to spend freely before we have to endure 5 days for another 2 day break each week. This summer has died down though and there are many things I would've liked to do (which I can't recall anymore) which I haven't done.
I want to make this post more colorful and interesting and entertaining but none of mine are anymore because lately, hah, I just don't CARE.  . Drinking finally caught up with me too and it's a good thing cause I was doing that crap too often, I'll see how long I can hold out though it shouldn't be too hard. Just after each time I get sick again, a pounding headache and this morning I puked 10 times in a row  , it was absoloutely, utterly, disgusting and I'm positive that you wanted to hear about it . It's just not worth it anymore, not even sure if it ever was, ugh. I'm tired of convincing myself "with alcohol this time could be more fun" because in all truth it doesn't become more fun. It's made me lose some of my character. I'm not as much of the person I used to be, I'm less like myself, because I'm too used to being a different person when I'm messed up - a person somewhat accepted, people say "I'm awesome" when I'm drunk but it's no compliment. Wouldn't it be better to be told "You're awesome all the time"? I don't like having to rely possibly subliminally on being fucked up to be accepted. It's not right. K. So done with that. Good timing too.
Now I just want to move out to the garage... | | |
|
