i hate writting shit like this-because honestly you have no idea my situation, my past, my friends, or really kno me in person so this make me look terrible or maybe  'so cool' but this is my fucking journal so think what you want or

little background on brandon--strungout out on ice. been smoking for 6 years, hot but a fucking pure ass icehead. sad to see these kids go. we got to his house, his mom comes home and see's how fucked up he is. flips a shit then cool down. we spent the day smoking ourselfs retarted--shabong,shilay,hot railing--all our new bestfriend's. had brett

over--holy hotness. yah you get my point. he came over smoked some more, about 3 his mom walks in on us twacking out of our minds smoking out of the shabong. i havent seen a mom as crazy as mine in a while--it was insane-we hot wired his 'sisters' car, which was stolen and sped our way to blakes. driving with no tag, 4 grams of the most illegal drug in the state on us, a stolen car, no license, above age guys, speeding (hah. both ways) need i say more? he had a warrant, we all have pending charges, i have a felony for the drug we have on us, i mean if we got pulled over-i would probably be locked up a good few years-as for brandon. lets just say maybe to life? my girls-probation. blake-back to there county jail. so we get to blakes, there dumbass's locked the keys in brandons truck. so we basically just sat there his dad came home fliped a shit we got back in the stolen car and drove forever--got to bretts and finally after 2 hours convinced a perverted selfish icehead asshole to take us home, cost brandon a KG and 10 bucks-when he already owed money. sucked.

eft on a bad note with everyone and was on our way back to atlanta--took about 3 hours. considering the love for WRONG TURNS, gas money, not knowing the fuck where we were,having to stop the total opposite way from me, etc. anyway eventually got home, jacked the kid and dipped the fuck out.

this is where the good night started haha--smoked a few times then jason josh and brooks came over; spilt the rolls with them. can you say fucked up? hah you have no idea. they stayed over till about 8 sunday AM; jeannie fell asleep at 6.we passed out about 9>slept till about 3 then ate a bit then chilled whatched MTV and listen to daniel bitch at sara and smoked some. took them home--went to taco bell & talked with the bf. ehh, had much worse weekends-but talk about being godamn lucky;

anyway-deff reality check. just reminded me of my days of addiction;i mean not close to what we went through everyday but same kinda situation; running from authority. its amazing the things i do now and how they relate to the beginning of me and scotts relationship. for some reason im running back to those memories witch is odd since i had to leave my life and lost who i was for that terrible time period. yet i want it back? i swear something is mentally wrong with me but im holding on; i have the confidence to keep faith.

make your own blog. your own usernames.your own pictures, quotes,layouts.
your own profiles and away messages. your own colors,fonts. your own life.
--GET-YOUR-OWN-LIFE--
would it make you feel better having people hacking into you're account, stealing pictures and saying they are you? how about taking you're name and changing a letter or number around. taking the poetry,quotes,profiles,away messages, layouts, colors, fonts ect. that you spend time choosing and picking for you're site and you're AIM. or aybe even hacking into you're account and delete the post, leaving the stupid ass comments to people you talk too. will this get you; getting the password to you're screename and email talking shit to the people you care about and harrassing just about everyone.

doesn’t have the balls to talk me about it instead of clicking 'block user' 2 seconds after you think you proved yourself better. wow don’t you feel influential..sad part is you're oh so far in that one babe. if you even know what that means, well there you go, spend you're time looking in a dictionary or asking you're mommy and daddy's--you poor children

i dont need anymore drama espically from girls who are 11-13 spending hours clicking 'copy and paste' of other girls pictures and going from website to website saying what they have. daddys a lawyer and mom is a model, live in orange county, i go shopping and im so plastic preppy and plastic. o come on, get over yourself. do you honestly think i believe a 12 yearold girl is a model, has a porshe, lives in 1.6 million dollar house,has overpriced handbags, wears the top of the line designer clothes? hell no. but i do believe getting a good laugh. so why dont you get in you're beat up truck,go to walmart buy your're cheap makeup.no where close to louis vuitton handbag. your new-hair-in-a-box., come back feed the golden retriever, sit back and have a 'tv-dinner' however over half of america lives. and began to think how unorginally out of you're mind disrespectful you're being. so leave me and the girls on xanga who have lifes and dont spend them staring at celebritys, making there personality on the people they adore, and the fuck load of other insecure physco things you do alone. honestly get out, live your life, you have so much ahead of you, when you grow up realise what you are doing it will hit you hard and you will realise how pathetic you are. seriously, you're insecurities are unbelievably scary. cant even post a fucking picture of yourself; honestly who do you have to impress. its a ONLINE JORNAL, no one honestly is going to respect you more because you may have a 'high class life, top of the line stuff, plastic looking' and whatever society has done to you're poor heads to even think you have

a better life. its not like you are gaining anything from having more comments, subscribers and such. the people that matter may yes come off that way but they look past that shit, their confident and use there beatuy for something, blow there money on things that they adore but dont obsess. now you my dears have gone a little overboard on the way people look at you.

depressing. one there is no perfect but perfect should be in a person eyes; intellegnt, well fit, themselves,in touch with the world, beatiful, and down to earth. not ditzy, plastic, fake, rich, preposterously skinny. you work and look perfect but you are being extremely fucking hypocritical to what you are trying to show the world. plus reading the not needed outrageous comments just is pretty commical, but gets old fast. its there jornal let them wear the designers they want to wear, have a break from the hair dye, and cake on the make up. because they are living to there standards, having it the way they want it. like it should be. just because you cant pull it off or cant afford it dont put them down for getting what youv'e always wanted;its not as good as it seems sweetheart, we all face problems>thats what gets us through the bigger problems. if you are facing this much problem over acception, man do you have a life ahead of you. do not WAISTE YOUR TIME COMMENTING ON THERE XANGA, CLICKING ON 'COMMENT' AND WRITTING YOU'RE NEGATIVE COMMENTS TRYING TO PUT DOWN INTELLGENT, NATURALLY BEATIFUL PEOPLE. are you that bored with you're own life. apperatenly so.

to sum it up::just fucking be orginal-
dont live you're life for someone else. have potential, use you're intellgence, be happy with what you have, take advantage of the thing you have, be thankful you're alive. lifes too short to sit at you're computer and harass people. you never know, you may not may not make it to tomorrow. spending hours attempting to make someone with confidence and a few handbags or a life that you want to risk how you may spend the last day of you're life. ever thought about it that way?

'we can never solve our significant problems from the same level of thinking
we were at when we created the problems.' --albert einstein

so yes back to my point. drugs are not cool everytime i meet someone im not encouraging and bragging about my drug use. its quite embarssing because of how nasty, dirty, low class, over-rated drugs are. so you ask why i do them? well for a more explantion>im me, i tryed above but turned into fake whores. basically, doing drugs are bad, you're risking many things with you're body (heart rate, long term brain problems, lung failure, mental disabilities, physical addiction so much more) if you are willing to take that risk-hopefully for not something temporily like popularity or whatever-then go ahead, but im warning from expreince>drugs fucking suck, they are all happy life is great, fantasy life and once you get in the real shit you will realise when you're fourteen at 78 lbs. in a dark room snorting line after line with blood running down the side of you're arm, havent ate or slept in a week then sent 1000 miles from anyone you know and forced to talk and admit you're addiction;o man you're so popular now. thats when you will ask yourself if it was worth it. so ya dont think its great, i fucking hate drugs.

if you dont apporve or intrested because of any worthy reason of my drug use--dont IM me, leave messages to my away message, call my cell phone, dont comment, dont subscribe dont even look at the fucking site;its you're choice to read my post, to look at my shit. its great you care so much but maybe showing you're care for a person a different way with more postive. you may get you're attention that way--in the mean time. get the fuck out and get a fucking hobbie.

i wouldnt recommend sex drugs or insanity for everyone, but theyve always worked for us.
sara, jeannie-had a great weekend. yes a little fucked up; on both ways haha but yah this weekend was insane and i guess you could say we could add this to the fucking list. haha <3 you girls.

its funny-i use to yell at my parents or older boyfriends for listening to there 'whiny, annoying, old geezer' music now here i am with it playing non-stop till im out of songs of them..hah i just get the message now and appericate them so much more. its not just about  SEX DRUGS VIOLENCE there is no much more and they proove that point through there lyrics and there 'tunes'. great music.

anyway, today just bummed around. caught up on some MAJOR needed sleep now going to grab some chinese haven’t ate most the day-work on this xanga a bit more--desperate need to some subscribing and commenting back--my bad again ladies. hope everyone had a great weekend and not a manic monday. hah

sorry if i bore you--
later lovers--steph <3

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