| | well well well........what to say today????? well the guy i love "CANT"
love me back so that really super sucks and thats really the only thing
i care about right now for some reason... no matter what i do, all i
seem to think about is him...most of you know who i am talkin
about....i have to see him almost everyday and go home knowing that
there will never be anything between us... DO YOU KNOW HOW FREAKIN HARD
THAT IS? yeah well if you dont then your lucky....one piece of advice-dont ever fall in love-
cuz once you do no nothing else matters......anyway tonight was a good
night....i was suppose to have the day off but i got called in so i
went in till 8 then about 9:30 me and haylie went to get applebees and
took it down by the river and ate and just talked a lil and then went
to old chicago and had some desert. it was really fun cuz we havent
really done anything like that and it seems like me and her have slowly
been drifting apart which REALLY REALLY sucks and i do not want that to
happen. If it werent for my friends i dont know what i would do...heres
to show my appriciation..................................
Haylie~ I love you so much! I really
dont want you to leave me here.....your my best friend. someone that i
can talk to hang out with....just the whole big cookie.... and im
really gonna miss you...thank you for puttin up with all of the
bullshit through the years and no matter what i will always be here for
you. dont EVER forget that.
Destiny R~ We have gotten so close and
i will never forget our memories...your mom has been like my mom these
past few months. no matter happens between me and you know who, thank
you for trying to help me with that, and if it does happen well..... we
wont even go that far....but yeah you have been such a good friend to
me this year and i know that i can tell you ANYTHING and you can keep
it a secret....thats what i love about you....we can share things with
each other and know how each other is feeling and know how to cheer the
other up!!! i love you much Drey!!
LeAnn~ I have so many memories with you
since seventh grade and i wont forget em'. We've been there for each
other through everything and i hope we still will be after you leave...
hopefully our guy problems will go away soon because mine is just
cutting my heart deeper and deeper everyday, but then you help make it
a little better when i talk to you....you know that i will always care
for you no matter what happens!! and you can talk to me about anything
and i will listen!
Jymme~ We dont talk near as much as we
used to but we've been friends since the sixth grade and i know i can
talk to you about my problems and you will listen to me, and i will do
the same for you.i know you love john sooo much and i support you in
everything you do including that....most people dont think i have a
chance with "S" but i know you know how i feel and believe that there
is a little chance.....maybe.....we better still talk.. i love you....
Kristi~ well we never talk anymore. i
feel so far away from that side of the family, and it really sucks. you
always tell me the truth about everything (even if it hurts my
feelings) you have been the best cousin anyone could have....your whole
family has been awesome to me through everything that has happened, and
thank you soo much for that....know that i am always here for you and i
know i can come to you with anything!
If i didnt put you on here it doesnt mean i dont love you, its just
these people have been with me for many years of my life and i needed
to tell them how i felt.
Why is it that when your at the hardest time in your life ever, you
feel so alone? like no matter how many friends you have, no one
can ever fill that piece that is missing? my friends mean the world to
me but sometimes you just need someone to hold you and tell you
everything is going to be ok. and that person you want it to be, isnt
there for you.....what do you do???
I feel like i have no family left....ever since i moved out of my moms
house, i feel so empty. I love my dad to death but we just dont ever
see each other, and i come home to an empty house everynight, and dont
know what to do with myself.....i have everything i could want for the
most part but yet i am still so unhappy with life. Graduation is coming
up fast and the closer it gets the more i think im not going to make
it. i feel liek no one believes in me which gives me no motivation to
do anything....
i miss my brother ALOT......he doesnt even know how much i need
him.....it seems like ever since he left things have just gotten worse
and worse. and now his gf just moved down there and took my niece
with her... i miss them too
i just feel like giving up....like there is nothing else worth living
for like my life has no meaning, there is only one thing that i want
and i cant have it, but thats what life is all about isnt it? well im
done complaining for the night.....peace
~~cassie~~
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| | Posted 4/21/2005 2:01 AM - 10 comments
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