Guess what.

I hate myself. Its been a while. Im definately not anorexic or bulimic anymore, and I hate it. Ive gained so much weight, I want to throw up. I admitted to my friends the other day that I used to have an eating disorder, they didnt care. So Im going to starve or throw up.

hello!

happy new year! this year is a change for me. Im on a diet that i made up, ill tell you guys later i dont have mush time.

comment on my regular xanga dirtysocks55, but nothing about ana.

<3333333

Hello everyone, this is going to be a dumb entry, so if you dont want to read, dont.

The past few months Ive strayed away from anorexia, but always the thought lingering in the back of my mind, always a shadow over my day. I know how many calories are in that muffin, I know How much fat ill be eating if I go there, it never ends. So Im coming back, I cant keep living this way, i need anorexia, I need bulimia, life sucks, I need a way to make it better. With an eating disorder, I have something to do, I have somewhere to feel safe in my hellish world. Ive missed all of you guys. I hope you are doing better than I am! No more days of regretting, Ill be in control. Ive gained weight, ive been feeling so depressed. I need a plan, a regiment. I need to exercise and never eat. I need to be thin. this is my ultimate goal. if i'm thin, Ill be happy, if i'm thin, maybe he will love me, if im thin, maybe my mother wouldnt consider me to be the fat girl that was a mistake.

I must be thin. No more food, I will not be content until I have become the thinnest, most beautiful girl there has ever been.

<3Carrie<3

Hi people, I havnt been updating, as usual, but today im staying at school till late for theatre,a nd every other day this week too, Im going to try and eat as little as possible, and try not to think about it, because when I do, I binge. I have to go, <333