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| Some people think Superman is invincible.
Let me tell you, that isn't the truth at all.
I'm sure some of you have questions. I'll answer them the best that I can.
I haven't cried once since it all began.
I'm cool most of the time. But some days it feels like there's a bullet lodged in the left part of my chest. Still smoldering. Still smoking. Still fresh.
I have made promises that I intend to keep. They're all that's left.
But I am fighting a losing battle.
And then there's you.
I'm not gonna lie, I've thought about you.
I don't know what it is you really feel for me, but your eyes sure seemed to say a lot.
You make me feel like I'm already a star.
But I'm less than what you deserve. And I intend to inform you of this.
The rag is back on. I'm pushing people away and hiding from those who notice me. And making decisions that I'm sure to regret.
Attractive, huh?
One thing is for certain,
Things are beginning to feel a little too familiar.
It's gonna be tough to find the sun again.
But I will.
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| It's really ridiculous how often I teter between optimistic high spirits and loving, to miserable, bitter and disgusted with everything I see.
I love people, but they are fucking idiots.
Lord save these stupid babies. | | |
|  | Currently Watching
TMNT
By Chris Evans, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Mako, Kevin Smith, Patrick Stewart
see related |
Cuz Ninja Turtles Are Here To Stay.For awhile there I was on a real high, and you guys missed it.
But it's okay. I'll try to time travel, just for you.
I guess it sorta started with a long conversation I had with my friend Joe. Joe and I were hired at EB on the same day, so we've always sort of had a... I dunno how to describe it. I guess sort of a twin brothery thing goin' on. We'd been hanging out at our bud Cameron's place prior, and he was only dropping me off, but we ended up chillin' in the parking lot for about 3 hours having probably one of the most amazing conversations I've ever had in my life. I can't think of a single topic we left untouched; we talked about our pasts and past conflict, our parents, our girls and how we came to meet them, our oldest friends and our best friends, politics, triumphs and failures, you name it... I'd have to say I learned more about that kid in 3 hours than I've learned about some people I've known for years, and it was fantastic. I love that sort of thing. After we finished, I walked into that apartment, dropped down on this couch and glowed. I definitely added a member to my extended family that night.
The night following was the last time "the turtles" would hang out before the summer came to an end. For those not in the know, which is basically everyone, save for about 3, maybe 4 people, I'd been having an internal struggle with a great many aspects of the current state of my life, the dilapidation of the once herculean union that I'd shared with those 3 guys being one of them. It was to the point to where if anything was going to happen, it had to be a special occasion, and either Eric or I would be hosting it. We hadn't been calling each other. We hadn't just been "hanging out." I had come to the conclusion that I was the only one still invested in that thing. I felt that we were all drifting apart and I was the only one with any desire to fix it.
Now before anyone hops in and tells me the same tired old "friends drift apart, it's a part of life" peptalk.. Please, shut up. I'm sick of people behaving as though that were as much an engraved fact of life as death. There is no all powerful uncrontrollable force that breaks the bonds people share, people themselves are responsible for their relationships. That is fact.
Anyway. Upon discovering that I'd been feeling this way, Eric decided to host a night for us all to just hang out, eat some home made lasagna and chillax a bit. I guess... Play catch up. Now, take the night I mentioned before, and magnify it by 70%, and then you have this evening. We talked. We laughed. We even played some of the original Halo. There were moments where we talked like the kids we were, about nothing at all, and moments where we talked like the grown men we've become, about things that mattered. It was all I could've hoped for.
We never really touched the subject of our disbanding. I think at that point, it was obvious that I was wrong. These guys were still as much my friends as they'd always been. Always will be. To be a fag and quote Kingdom Hearts:
"We can't be together forever. What matters isn't how much we see each other, but how much we think about each other."
That's the truth. And I'm a fool for not believing it sooner.
We discussed the Christmas party for this year. This being the fifth one, we're already planning on making it the biggest one yet. However, we also came to the decision that it will also potentially be the last one; our reasoning being that times are changing, people are getting older, people are moving... How much longer could we really keep it up? Best to go out with a bang, right? So. If you've never been to one, you won't want to miss this year's. Because it'll probably be your last chance, and man, are you gonna feel dumb for missing it.
The ending of the night was somewhat bittersweet. As we were saying our goodbyes, it also felt like we were saying goodbye to a lot more. Like we were exiting a certain phase of our lives and entering a brand new one.
I'm sad to leave the past behind me, but I finally feel that I'm ready to let the future come.
Lenn can be a family man.
Eric can move off to California and be a youth minister.
Lindley and I can move to different parts of New York.
But no matter what,
Ninja Turtles are here to stay.
So, anyway. Those two amazing nights had me feeling very much appreciative of the people in my life. The night with Joe in particular inspired me to start trying to hang out with people I don't chill with as often; so if you were taken aback or weirded out by my sudden desires to hang out with you folks, don't frett. I just love you is all.
As this summer comes to a close, I can say that although it wasn't the wham bam party fest that last summer was, I will definitely remember this fondly. I got to spend a lot of quality time with a lot of quality people on a personal level. I saw my film debut, and I shared it with my best friend. I got to spend time with my lady, my baby girl, my doppleganger, my brothers in green, ol' daddy Percy and got to turn acquaintences into people I love.
Man...
It was the bomb hangin' out with you.
Hit me up. Let's put life to the test.
Much love, true believers.
Oh, and by the way. I sorta miss this girl... | | |
| I'm actually bored enough to write in my xanga.So, here I am. If anyone still cares.
I feel kinda funny right now. I dunno, kinda.. Contained. Bridled. Like I have something massive, passionate and amazing building up inside me that just wants to explode out, but something keeps it contained.
It could just be the fact that I actually can't do anything productive, really, as far as my personal artistic endeavors go. My laptop, the fucker that it is, has decide that it no longer feels like charging; so until I take it to the geek squad or whatever, I can't do anything with it. This means I can't write down any ideas, I can't work on SE, and I can't do any art. It's truly a scenario where you don't appreciate something until it's gone. Bah. So for the mean time I'm using my brother's old ass iMac for a loaner. So, if you've tried to talk to me lately and I haven't answered, that's why. I simply don't know how to put up away messages on the program I'm using.
Little Ham is long over by now. It was definitely bittersweet, as I thought it would be. I'm definitely in no hurry to return to Helen Hocker. None at all. It's just the people I miss. And when I'm standing alone with no one else around, I must admit that I find myself humming the songs or at times, even doing dance moves from it. Funny. Anyway, those of you who came out to support my silly little Harlem Jazzical, thank you. Those who didn't? SHAME ON YOU.
Kristen and I have been together for 7 months. Things are advancing nicely, I must say. I'd probably have to say that what makes me most happy in life at this point is her. Since the summer began we've been spending a lot of time together. Even if some of that time is interrupted by the children she babysits (and I have as well, lately). Kudos to this chica for finally teaching a negro as broken as I am how to love again.
I finally got a promotion at GameStop. I'm now the Lead Game Advisor. Hooray.
Speaking of games, has anyone else been enjoying the Halo 3 beta? Some people are saying that it's just like Halo 2, and some people are idiots. Yes, it has similar gameplay, just like Halo 2's gameplay was similar to the original Halo, and just like any other damn video game sequel is similar to it's predecessor. I dunno why anyone is acting like they were expecting something completely different. I, as one of many, am loving the hell out of it thus far, and I've already got my copy reserved. I don't even give a damn if I don't have a 360 of my own just yet. I have to own it.
Anyway, my boredom is slowly easing away. So... I'm gonna end this. I was just rambling anyway.
It's summertime, though, folks. I miss you all. Yes, all of you. And I know you miss me too, so give me a call so we can hang out.
Peace out true believers.
| | |
| By the way, did I mention that I'm in a show?...It's true, everyone. Dane Shobe is in another show. Been in another show, in fact, for the past few weeks. And, for the uninformed, here's the most shocking part...:
It's a musical. Yes, friends. I'm in a musical. Or, "Harlem Jazzical" as the script so colorfully likes to put it.
Interestingly enough, just like Pudd'nhead, this was another show I was tossed into half way through production, thanks to Jeffy K, Kristen and Kenyon. And just like Pudd'nhead, this show was having a difficult time keeping ahold of cast members. However, unlike Pudd'nhead, lines were the least of my troubles.
Give me all the lines in the world, and I'll manage just fine. But add singing and choreographed dancing into that? It becomes an entirely different matter. Honestly, it was a challenge I'm not particularly sure I was prepared for. I'd never done anything like this before. It's been stressful. Humbling, to say the least. To be honest, it's been absolute hell, and for awhile it really had my self esteem going to shit. But, I've survived. And now, we're here in the last week of the show's run, and I have to say part of me will miss it. The cast was a great set people. Truly inspiring people with great senses of humor. I can't think of a one of them I who which would be opposed to working with again. I'll definitely be hoping to keep in touch.
Anyway. The show is on Friday and Saturday at 8pm, and on Sunday at 2:30; cover charge is 11 bucks.
I know. Sorry. But, the people tel lme it's a nice show. So if I'm WORTH (*ahem*Mead...) 11 bucks, I'd appreciate your support. 
So. What else have I been up to? Well.. I went back to prom...... Again. I'm on my way to becoming the best prom date, ever. I've certainly had enough practice. It was a great time, though. Dare I say lovely? Yes, I think I'll say lovely. My lady looked lovely, as did my friends. It was a very lovely time.
I've also been drawing a lot. Fancy a look?
I'm really looking forward to this summer. Eric will actually be here, so for one summer the Turtles will be reunited for once. I'm actually thinking it may have the potential to top last year's summer, which was awesome to say the least. I just need some movie magic in there somewhere.
In other news, Kristen and I have been together for half a year now. And all you cats I met last year, I've now known for over a year. Crazy, huh?
Well. That's enough for now. Just had to let you all know about the show. 
Take care and much love, true believers.
PS. I'm playing the Halo 3 beta tonight!!!
PPS. Spider-Man 3 was great. Don't believe the haters.
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