| sooo....after almost 3 years of nothing, i have decided to update my
xanga. do i have some amazing story to tell?? no. it's pretty much just
going to be an unloading of my thoughts. of things i have learned in
college. of things i regret. i am writing for no reason whatsoever. so
here goes.....
1. i have become a bitter and cold-hearted person. after being screwed
over too many times, not being appreciated, stretching myself too thin
to make other people like me, i have reached my limit. people who knew
me in high school would say that i was such a sweet girl. very quiet.
very accomodating. but after 4 years in college, i have learned that
people lack sincerity. everyone is in it for themselves. and we are all
full of shit. blah blah blah....let's be friends....blah blah
blah......no one understands me....drama drama drama......nothing
nothing nothing. and not to say that i've never experienced this....i
have...i still do. but it still sucks
2. i have come to question the true definition of a friend. is a friend
someone you talk to?? or is it someone that you can tell anything to??
do "friends" really tell each other everything?? or are people
"friends" when they can just hang out together...and waste their lives
away together....and never really connect the way that i pictured them
to....maybe what i think friends should be is this illusion that never
really happens...or maybe my social skills are so horrendous that i've
never experienced it myself. either way....it's too depressing. moving
on.
3. i have let a lot of close(r) relationships slip through my fingers.
most likely because i stopped going on AIM. how sad. part of it is my
fault. part of it is your fault. and then there are some relationships
that i've held on too for too long....it wasn't worth all the effort. i
have decided to become more proactive in maintaining
relationships...but it's slow work. and i sometimes wonder if people
even want to reciprocate.
so the moral of the story - if you have true friends...you're lucky.
don't lose them. i am bitter at everyone...not necessarily because they
wronged me, but because i'm jealous of what i think they have. maybe
they really have it. maybe they don't. anyway, that's the end of my
blabbering. see you in 2009.
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| long time no update...because i have nothing to say.
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| school. yuck.
early classes. yuck.
no air conditioning. yuck.
exams exams exams. yuck yuck yuck!!!
chocolate cake soaked in chocolate syrup....
mmmMMMmmmmmmMMMM!!!!!!!!!! =)
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| i feel so loved.
special thanks to stacy. heidi. mom. dad. yuhong. anna. carmina. dave. dutta. shirley. lauren. samhitha. christina. matt. ed. henry. prem. juanita. juliana. cyrus. allison. joe. stacey. sunny. wei. and yanzhi.
=) |
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| one more week left.... *tear*
who wants to buy my physics book?!? =D |
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