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| I'm Ready.When I got home tonight, I was planning on going on a run -- pretty much the only thing that makes me not think about anything else other than that itself. Running.
Well.. When I was stretching.. I just started to pray. and then it came to me..
I have everything that I've ever needed or asked for, I have the greatest of Friends & Family, and.. I officially can say.. that.. I dont leave anyone in a bad mood (or at least I think i dont) or have anyone thinking anything negative of me -- everyday.
and thats what i've been trying to do for so long.
I know that I help people out.. and I enjoy doing it.
I know there is so much more I would like to do.. but. I've gotten everything that I've wanted in life.. and. I .. prayed about that. I know now I can say -- I wouldnt be sad or wanting to get a bunch of things done or changed if someone told me i was going to die tomorrow.
Or even tonight. idk. I dont mean to sound 'emo' or w/e.. but really. Im not afraid of death anymore ( i think it was more of how i would die is what scared me the most.. and.. that i would have unfinished business ) and I know that God will be with me no matter what happens, and he will protect me, and guide me through everything I do. <3
God Bless you all <3
| | |
| and.. the songs i want to learn.. *sigh*So this is a longer list eh? ahah.. pretty depressing. but hey! ill get there! you just watch!.. when i learn them.. ill just put a strike through on it.. :)
Daughters - John mayer
Not myself - John mayer
Emily - From first to last
Dust in the wind - Kansas
Snow - RHCP
Behind blue eyes - Pete Townshend
All Hail the heartbreak - Spill canvas
Stairway to heaven - Led Zeppelin
Simple Man - Lynyrd Skynyrd
Free bird - Lynyrd Skynyrd
Sweet Child O' Mine - GNR
Spiderman - Aerosmith
Good Riddance - Green Day
Island in the sun - Weezer
Wonderwall - Oasis
T.N.T. - AC/DC
Lagrima - Francisco Tarrega
Glycerine - Bush
Banana Pancakes - Jack Johnson
House of the rising sun - !!! this was redone !! like.. more than once! who originally did this? GAH! ahha :)
Mr.Brightside - the killers
Friends - Led Zeppelin
Wish you were here - Lynyrd Skynyrd
Over the hills and far away - Led Zeppelin
Frankenstein - Edgar Winter
For my father - Andy Mckee
A bunch of Johnny cash songs XD
Purple Haze - Jimi Hendrix
yeah. this .. list will probably get bigger.. ahahah *sigh*
| | |
| more blogs from myspace[20 Jan 2007 | Saturday]
WILDFIRE
Current mood: crazy
Category: Religion and Philosophy
I felt the need to blog about this one on myspace, i didnt think this would be anything to hide from people.. so here it goes.
For a while now I fell under the words of others that werent so... 'faithful'
and.. it 'rubbed off' on me in a sense.. and.. i wasnt feeling the best.. but lately ive gotten my chance to get it all back. and it feels great.
it really does.
Tonight was something that i really needed and hadnt experienced in a while.
It was amazing.
I saw people crying.
jumping.
doing crazy dances.
i heard someone speaking in a tongue i couldnt recognize...
I heard people praying.. all at once. it was a big sladjkhfadskjfghs of prayers. aha..
it sounded cool with the music. (when everyone went to pray)
and.. there were flags being waved around, people singing, guitars,drums, pianos.
all of it.
it was soo.. wow.
The only way for someone to know exactly what i am talking about is for them to have been there themselves. there is no word in any language that could describe the feeling.
But -- to try my best.. it felt like.. a tingally kind of cold all over my body, but a warmth down my back. (as we sang) this went on for at least an hour, two hours, possibly three.
The music -- was great. There were soft songs, than up-beat songs. soft songs, then upbeat songs. Not to mention the drumer ---->the best ive heard in a while.
the guitars --> only inspired me to learn even more.
the singers ---> inspired me to practice more.
There was so much motivation from tonight.. its crazy.
But after all the singing, and the praying, it was time to take a moment and sit down, and just listen.
And this (not exact words.. sorry.. i dont have a great memory) is what was said;
I want to challenge you all tonight. When you wake up tomorrow morning.. you're supposed to be going to church, its sunday ahaha... i want you to ask god 'what do you want me to do today' and then do it. Whether it be something simple like take a shower and put on some clothes, or something hard to do. God has a plan for us all. That way you can learn to listen to God. Some of you are like 'i cant hear god', Well thats because you're not listening! 'i dont understand' well stop trying to understand, and just believe. Its too complex for any human to understand. We've got thousands of scientists, and they still dont know! But yet its so simple. In Genesis, the very first sentence in chapter one says. "In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth."
(there is another part of it that says a seed is a seed inside itself... or something like that.. ahaha )
You know what, I brought something with me today for you guys. Its great, its really cool. (he digged through his pocket and it looked like he wasnt holding anything, but he really was, and then he finally told us what it was after so many people assumed he didnt have anything in his hand, even after he walked around a bit to show the first row of people)
Its an apple seed! I ate an apple today! (people clap sarcastically "congratz!" was called out from the back jokingly)
When God first created the earth he planted seeds and he was done. He didnt have to create anymore ( there are "seeds" in us too.. ) People just dont pop out of the middle of no where "AHH!.. where did you come from?!.. oh you were just created" (haha.. )
No. He passed that gift unto us.
But this (holds up apple seed).. is an apple seed. that is a fact.. right?
Right? but is it the truth?
Is that the truth? Its a fact that this is an apple seed.. but.. is that the whole truth?
(pauses)
No. Its not the whole truth.
this isnt just an apple seed, its a tree. and no it doesnt stop there!
this isnt just an apple seed and this isnt just a tree.
its a fruit.
its a tree and a bunch of fruit.
and it STILL doesnt stop there!
its an apple seed, and a tree and a bunch of fruit and seeds inside of them!
( A seed inside itself! )
and it still doesnt stop there!
its an apple seed, and a tree a bunch of fruit and seeds inside them that are trees
and it continues!
its an apple seed, and a tree a bunch of fruit and seeds inside them that are trees and a bunch of fruit, that have seeds, that are trees that have fruit that have seeds that are trees that have fruit, seeds, trees, fruit, seeds, trees, seeds!!!!
(pauses.. laughter)
A seed inside itself.
You even have a seed in you.
What you need to do is surround yourself with the right environment to let it grow.
If I were to drop this seed right here(he dropped it, and made sure he knew where it was and pointed at it)
and just left it there, did nothing to it, it wouldnt grow. Right?
Its just in the wrong environment!
You know, a while ago there were these archeologists that went into a pharoh's tomb {sp?} and found all these neat things in there.. and the dead people ahaha but then they got to the pharoh and opened his tomb and you know what they found?
A bag of seeds!
So they decieded to have a look at these seeds and sent it to this guy that ran some tests on it, and he took a seed out, and said hmm i wonder what would happen if i put it in here, a big thing of water.. and it began to grow! it started to sprout! You know how OLD these seeds were?
4 million years old!!!
So it doesnt matter how old the seed, it just sits there patiently waiting for the right environment!
We all have a seed in ourselves, and we all need to keep it in the right places so that we can let it grow, sprout to the lord.
That ^^^^ is just a bit of what he said that I can remember, though, it was muuuuccch better when he said it all.. which is why i wish i could have gotten the WHOLE WORLD to hear what he had to say.
Which brings me to saying this --
While I was singing, and experiencing everything that was going on around me and inside me, i couldnt help but to think of all the people i could have gotten to come with me, and really wished that i could have shown them this.
I really really think it was worth going, and it wasnt just some 'lame christian thing' that everyone thinks church is. It was definatly something that i needed to do, and what alot of people I know need to do as well.
That way everyone can get their life on the right path.
If anyone that reads this is interested in the next wildfire thing is it will be on the third of feburary, though i dont remember which church, i will find out soon, so if you are wanting to go, just message me and ill tell you as soon as i find out.
If you go to kenwood -- Then you can also go to the wildfire meetings in the morning every wednesday in the theather, from 7:00-till the first bell.
Anyone can go, you dont even have to be christian, but i would really really like to see more and more people show up everytime.. that would be great.
what also would be great is if you could tell me.. hey.. i read this.. and im really interested..
But dont lie guys! (thats a sin.. ahaha. ^-^)
so.. yeah.
i would really like to hear from any of you guys.. and to hear your opinions about it all.
<3
Thank you for reading this! (god bless you all)
>>Danielle<<
WILDFIRE (part 2)
Current mood: determined
So this is my second time going to a wildfire event. This time it was a little different..
in these reasons:
1 - i was more independent. ( with my actions.. i guess? ahah.. <3 )
2 - the power team was there (gary and jarome king.. idk if thats how you spell it.. SORRY!)
3 - I did the freedom dance thingie.. ahaha.. it was cool <3
4 - I did the holy spirit baptizing thing.. though.. i didnt speak any different tongue.. :( so i dont think i received it 'fully' i guess... idk. :(
Anyway, this is how it started. Amanda came and picked me up.. we went to wally world for some eyeliner.. b/c amanda had to get some.. ahahah and then it was 5:30 so we went to the church -- which this time was the Clarksville Church of god <3
We walked in.. and.. found will & chris and sat next to them.. we were still kind of early..so yeah.. but.. then we walked out for a minute or two, and came back and had to put our name down on the list so that they know we came.. and like.. ahahahaha.. poor guys.. when I was writing my name down there were these two guys making fart noises behind me.. and i was like.. O.O what the? ahah.. and then when i turned my head a little to look at amanda & kind of look at them.. they were like.. oh! i thought it was ashley. ahahaha.. now i feel embarressed!.. i .. couldnt help but to smile.. i was like.. ahaha.. dont worry about it.. its okay.. ahahaha but when i turned to leave with amanda i started laughing.. really hard.. ahahahah.. :( oops.
but yeah. then we started to sing.(i got the tingally cold feeling again! .. this time it was came sooner.. <3 and lasted longer <333 i love it!!! :D :D :D :D!!). and we prayed for a moment, and then they introduced the power team.. and they came up and talked for a bit.. and then the first guy gary got a hot water bag.. and blew it up.. ahaha.. it had 'jesus saves' written on it.. ahaha.. and like.. oh man. he said how like.. the first guy to have done that hiccuped while in the process of blowing air into it.. and all the air that he blew came rushing back into his mouth and he made his his lungs collapse and he had to go to the emergancy room.. so.. that just shows how dangerous it was for him to do something like that.. but yeah.. it blew up.. ahaha.. and they broke a bunch of other stuff.. and.. bent frying pans.. like .. they rolled them up.. ahah.. like burritoes.. ahaha.. oh man. and.. all this other stuff.. it was crazy. man. ahh <3
but i was a bit too late to get anything from him.. so i could like.. take it to school and show people.. like.. this is the work of god.. ahah <3 but.. idk. They are going to do some more stuff again tomorrow but i cant go.. so christian is going to get something for me so i can do as planned.. that way maybe i can get more people to come next time.. use the.. ahaha.. "burrito pan" or a broken bat.. w/e chris can get as something for the people to look at..ahah but yeah.. well.. The other guy jarome (sp?.. ahah sorry! ) spoke for a while about all the hard times he had went through and when he turned to god.. (his testimony <3 .. once again -- sp ? .. man i cant spell.. ahah.. )
it was..soo.. great <3 but.. the best part about tonight -- was when gary asked anyone that needed help .. anyone that needed a better relationship with god.. or.. anything like.. that.. and anyone that hadnt been baptized by the holy spirit before.. he wanted them to come forth.. and he would pray for them.. and like.. at first.. i was like.. man. i need to go up there.. but.. at the same time i was too shy to just walk up.. b/c i was too worried about what other people might think.. and then the thought 'well if someone goes up there i will' went through my head.. and then i realized.. everyone standing there was just like me. and that they were waiting on someone to go first.
And it wasnt just that that made me go up.. i knew that i needed to. i knew .. that it was something i just had to do.. so i nudged amanda.. b/c i knew that she needed to as well.. i wasnt the only one.. and walked off.. i heard her say my name.. like.. no.. dont go.. what are you doing? but i walked off anyway.. i didnt look back.. but that very moment i walked forward to gary, 4-5.. maybe 6 people followed.. and then i closed my eyes to pray.. but.. when i opened them.. there was alot more people than 4-6 people behind me <3. and gary said 'see i knew there had to have been someone' and then he went to every single person and asked them how old they were and what there name was.. and.. it was amazing how he knew exactly what to pray about for every person standing up there.. He prayed with jenny about something -- i didnt over hear.. and she said that it was exactly what needed to be prayed about.. and same for amanda.. and same for me.
I cant say anything on behalf of amanda and jenny b/c im not them.. and i dont know exactly how it felt.. but when he came to me.. he asked how old i was.. i said i was 15.. and he said something about understanding how it worked.. which i didnt.. in fact.. i had asked jenny what it was that gary was talking about when he was asking people to come forward.. and even after she explained i still didnt quite get it. So gary did.. i cant repeat what he said though im afraid.. i have a terrible memory.. i know what he said.. but.. like.. i just.. cant repeat it.. idk. its weird. and bad.. ugh. but anyway, he talked to me about a gift.. and that once you were baptized or w/e you would speak in another tongue other than english ( i think thats right.. aah.. sorry if im wrong!! :-[ )
and he was like.. so do you want this gift ? And my response -- I really do want to have this wonderful gift.. i want to be able to do all of that but i feel as though there is something that is weighing me down, or rather holding me back from god and i cant exactly say what it is for im not sure. and then he asked if i was depressed or anything like that.. and my answer -- of course was yes.. and he asked if i had any problems at my house with family.. and thats when the tears came.. .. thats when i let it all... out.. well.. not all of it.. ahah.. but.. basically a summary.. of what had been going on with my family.. and.. it was kind of like an emotional breakdown.. idk.. i couldnt help but to have a trembly voice.. and have tears run down my cheek.. but.. idk..
all the while i had that tingly cold feeling.. and like.. idk.. he said okay and then put his hands on my head and prayed for me and went on to the next person.. i stood there for a while just praying.. with the other people... every now and then praying for the other people.. b/c i would over hear their issue and ask god to help them with that.. but over all.. it felt soo... like.. i dont even know.. you cant explain it. just feel it.
and once again -- going through all of this i wish that i could have brought so many people with me.. because there are so many people on my list that i know for a fact need a change.. and .. i know im on my way to a better change.. im not quite there yet.. but almost. and i know that everything that i have been doing for what.. the past.. three maybe four months now ? is adding to that. Thank you lord <3
I could only wish the same for those people on my list. <3 Which brings me to say that I feel like.. (i hope this doesnt come out wrong...) Im supposed to bring people to these things.. like.. i know thats the part of the reason of our school's wildfire club.. to bring alot of people to god and create a change in our school.. get rid of all the bad things that go on.. but.. like... i feel as though Im supposed to really.. really put it all out there.. im supposed to get everyone (on my list) to god. And even if its not supposed to be that way.. like.. i create a great change or w/e.. i feel the need to.. and this is where i start. Esp today at the front.. after i walked up.. there were so many people that followed.. and i was glad to see that happen. I hope that god will continue to work through me... and help others see the light because its a wonderful thing to experience <3 It only makes me wonder what would have been if i didnt walk up there.. would those people still recieve the help they got? would someone else be 'bold' and go forth ? I may never know. :D but im glad it happened the way it did. All i know is from here on out -- I will strive to make a difference. Make a great change in the world, with God by my side.
Also! This couldnt have been possible if it werent for the very important people around me -- like.. for example.. everyone in Kenwood's wildfire club (you know who you are)
<33 God bless you all (and thank you for reading all of this.. ahaha :D :D *mwuah*)
OH! and one more thing! (jenny is a witness.. you can ask her.. ahaha)
When one of the guys tore a phone book he threw it out to the people sitting infront of him and one piece of paper started to land near me and jenny.. and i went to get it but it came closer to her.. and i was like.. :( man.. ahah.. but then she gave it to me *hugs* ahah.. and like.. i started to fold it a few mintues later b/c i was going to go put it in my purse and keep it.. ahaha (i know... im a pack rat.. ahaha.. shush... ) and like.. it had one of those fish things on it.. right in the middle of the square i made by folding it.. what are the odds of that happening ?! haha.. i was like.. whoah! haha.. jenny look!.. and we were both that.. that is so cool! haha.. <33.. man. ahah.. :D :D | | |
| myspace blogs.. i wish to look back on
so im getting rid of alot of myspace blogs b/c .. idk. it just looks too much for me.. so yeah..
but i want to be able to remember this stuff.. so im posting them here :D
Tonights a full moon baby, a night when men's passions, like the tides, are pulled to their highest, achingly unbearable peak.
---I havent seen that kind of face eating since the silence of the lambs
" If we shadows have offended, think but this and all as mended, that you have but slumbered here, while these visions did appear, and this weak, and idle theme, no more yeilding but a dream. gentles do not reprehend, if you pardon we will mend. and as i am an honest puck if we have unearned luck. now to scape the serpents tounge. we will make amends eere long else the puck a liar call. so.. goodnight unto you all. give me hands if we be friends and robin shall restore amends. " ( Midsummers night dream.. FAV! )
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A Moose named Brad lived in the boonies. He constantly queefed after eating alot of apples. Rainbows are gay and very effing boss -like-for-serious-. Peanuts taste nutty. Isn't that just splendid? The lasangne is mint && so is peppermint :D The moose named Brad that lived in the boonies died of a heartattack when he saw a gay rainbow while eating peanuts and smelling Lasangne. The peppermint had nothing to do with the Moose. Everyone lives happily ever after.
THE END
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Vanuatu -- Your everyday inspiration ?
Do you ever dream about getting away from it all on some tropical island? Well, that might not be as far-fetched as it seems. I was reading a very interesting article about a small South Pacific island nation called Vanuatu that was ranked as the "happiest" on the planet. Instead of ranking countries based on economic wealth, the "Happy Planet Index" was based on consumption levels, life expectancy, and happiness.
While many people on Vanuatu don't have money or a job, they can grow everything they need to eat. If they have an opportunity to make money, they take it, but it's not their main goal in life. The people feel a close spiritual connection to the land, their ancestors, and to each other. And they have a relaxed attitude to everyday life -- there is no fast pace to get caught up in, as is the case for most of us.
But is this idea of a tropical island just a dream? I think we can take some tips on achieving happiness from these island people. It seems to me they have their priorities straight. What truly brings happiness is our connection with others and living in harmony with our surroundings, feeling a part of this glorious Universe. And that's something we can all achieve, no matter where we live.
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Risk
To Laugh is to risk appearing the fool,
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental,
To reach out is to risk involvment,
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self,
To Place your ideas, your dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss,
To Love is to risk not being loved in return,
To live is to risk dying,
To hope is to risk despair,
But risks must be taken, because the greatest threat in life is to do nothing,
The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, and is nothing.
They may avoid suffering and sorrow, but they cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love or live.
Chained by their attitudes, they are a slave, they give up their freedom.
Only the person who risks can be Free.
To live life its self it to risk, everything.
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The moment we begin to fear the opinions of others and hesitate to tell the truth that is in us, and from motives of policy are silent when we should speak, the divine floods of light and life no longer flow into our souls.
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[06 Aug 2006 | Sunday]
The Bad side of me -- warning -- alot to read.
Current mood: blah
Im selfish.Im Lazy. Im Inconsiderate. I seek attention all the time, and I over think things -- non stop. Ya know - Jumping to conclusions or thinking to deep into a simple action of another person. One last thing -- My dad's temper has begun to rub off on me. I take it out on my nephews all the time.
SO
first things first. ( selfishness >.< ) :
I am selfish when it comes to family, I was with past relationships, and now im being selfish with brad's time. Rachel says that I'm only selfish about the people I care about.. but, I dont think thats the case.
I am selfish with my mom b/c I get frustrated when she cant take me somewhere b/c she has to do something else with desirae, go pay bills, go to church, grocery shopping, or anything else of the sort.
I always get upset when i have to do chores b/c i am inconsiderate of what everyone else has to do.. im the only one with time to clean the house. My sister is always working, along with my dad. When They arent working, they both usually try to take advantage of the time that they have by either doing something they need to get done ( mostly my dad ) or going out somewhere ( mostly my sister ). If I were in their position.. I would be the exact same way. Im always saying how I want to have more fun. I can never get enough of it. My mom on the other hand, she is so used to the life style in which she sleeps half her day away ( and life ), watches gospel tv shows, and takes care of my dad. [ makes breakfast for him, goes out to pay bills, get groceries, etc.] so i guess you could say she doesnt have time to take care of the house either. With brad -- I say its all him but really.. its all me. It always is my fault for something. He is always working so he can pay for his things and have a little money on the side for other things. When he is off for a chance.. he generally likes to get out, unless he isnt in the best mood.. i dont know. Being who he is, alot of people are going to be wanting to spend time with him, so he is swamped with plans the majority of the time. Here I am asking him to take a break from his life for me, bending over backwards. Is that not selfish or what? Then of course when it comes to relationships -- Its always about me. I almost never think about what the other person may want out of a relationship. Thats not how its supposed to be. Never. Basically -- If I dont ge what i want, i make a big deal about it, become upset and stressed about it. Which is never good.
Laziness- All I am doing is XC practice, and trying to hang out with friends as much as possible. I can be incredibly lazy when it comes to doing chores. Like.. all i usually do is Vacuum up & downstairs and the dishes everyday. Every once in a while I will get a strong urge to dust, clean the bathroom ( hardly ever ), my room, and MAYBE clean all the glass in the house.. most of the time its not even all of it... Im also really lazy with school work. I could be getting at the least A's and B's but i decide to lower my standards and just go with the flow. If i dont feel like doing something then i dont do it, and then I end up getting a really bad grade. This usually works with only homework and studying. Which I have made a habit of not doing ever since 4th grade. Im going to be a sophomore for Christ's sake! I only have three more years and then im out. Unless of course i fail. And then to top it off.. there is College. I AM GOING TO COLLEGE.
Inconsideration -
I can be very inconsiderate of others personal space. I know that much. I will put my hands in people's faces and not even notice it unless they say something about it..and then i still go off and do it... or i will get pretty darn close to hitting someone by simply getting in someone else's space.
Attention Seeking - If im not getting enough attention I act as though something is bothering me and then Keep with it. If I still dont get attention, then I eventually give up. This isnt ALWAYS the case though -- so dont give up on me.
Over thinking My over thinking has gotten me into situations I wish I had never gotten into.
Drama. Lots of it. That or I will lower my trust for someone just b/c of a thought. When its in the moment thinking -- I usually dislike the person I'm thinking about. If not that then I hate myself for whatever I had said or done. I always say there is two sides to a story BUT when I think to much.. i disregaurd that fact. Yes. Its a fact. ( so many people have their own opinion there is bound to be someone that disagrees with you, I promise you. Thats why its a fact! :D ) While thinking too much -- I usually jump to conclusions. Something I learned from my father. He always does it to me. ( Example -- For about a week and a half I have been not allowed to say out past 9 b/c my dad thinks somehow i would be sneaking in at 2:00 in the morning.. I wouldnt even ATTEMPT! But thats only partial. Its also b/c of school.. ahahhaa .. at least im hoping. )
New Learned Temper - I have become more and more impatient when it comes to my nephew and certain people that erk my nerves. *cough* you know who you are *cough cough*
( not saying any names ) I take it out on my nephews all the time.
I hate to do it, but when its in the moment, i cant help it. I Dont like.. get in their face or anything of that sort but i get pretty strict on what they can or cant do. I dont give them a chance to have fun every once in a while. I really dont want to be an extremely strict parent when im older..
The Main reason why its probably taken me so long to admitt all of this is b/c i dont want to bring up all these issues and then look like the type of person you dont really want to talk to anymore b/c she has soo much issues she has to work out thats the thing i think im worried about the most.
If you read all of this -- wow.. thank you for your time.
If not.. oh well.. your not missing out on much.
---- a comment to this.. that made me think
let me tell you why you need to calm down (in a friendly way :P). There is not one person i know that isn't like that. It's just that you actually think about it and realize what you;'re doing. You're what's called a profound thinker. You see yourself like you're in third person. That's an amazing quality. The selfishness is understandable. Every teenager has it, you'll get used to it lol, it comes with high school. The "laziness" is not laziness at all. You're just a very social person. I doubt you would have ever done cross country if you didnt have friends in it or were making friends in it. You would have never started running by yourself ( icould be wrong, but you'd have to be weird). So if you think about it, the reason you dont like doing chores and whatnot is because it's lonely. Trust me, when i'm mowing the lawn with a friend, or cleaning up some big mess while chattin with one of the guys, it's not nearly as anti-boring. It's how we social people get along with life. It's just cause noone likes being by themselves. The whole inconsideration thing is just you being weird lol:: the big one that i might be able to give you some advice on is the overthinking::::
I had the same problem until this year, i decided i didnt want to deal with it all, i put myself into so much drama. So what I started doing was staying away from conflict, and smiling. Think about things that make you happy. It'll make you always feel cheerful. With cheer comes a more easy-going person. You don't actually know me know me but if you did you';d understand what i mean. Stop taking things so literal all the time. Everything will always work out in the end. It always does.
And by the way being selfish about a guy's time is just you being happy around him and always wanting hat happiness, it's perfectly natural you just have to learn how to miss someone without having to bug them about it.
I hope everything works out for ya
| | |
| Bad Inspiration
So today was a plain and simple day, nothing to drastic happened.
Other than realizing what I need to do and dont to.
I looked back at all the bad things that I've been through in the past all the way up till now (at least the ones I can remember)
and yet another inspiration struck..
to never go through that stuff again.. and do the good things that prevent it.
I just want to be known as a great person. I want to be KNOWN. like.. make history. I want to make a difference in the WORLD not just my little community but the world. I want to have an impact. I DONT want to be another person to go unnoticed by the world. And I wont. If got a few plans brewing in my mind at the moment. But that is for a later time for me to disscuss..
but back to the bad stuff ---
Im not going to spill out my life story but I have changed.. soo much.. in the past couple months that I have in a while.. and changed for the better.. there are those of you out there that put bits into this change but it was over all me (obviously) who did it all.. and to some it may not seem like the truth.. or it may not last long or w/e but it will.. and if I ever change -- it will be only even better than now.
There are so many things I wish i could say to certain people but i just cant.
i
just
cant.
why -- that will stay with me as well. I really dont see how people could be 'bored' anymore.. i know i used to say it all the time.. but i really dont see it anymore. there are so much stuff you could put your time too.. so much.. that Sleeping almost seems a waste of good time..
Ive come to the realization of alot of things.. all by the little words of someone. (you should know who you are)
Granted I ventured into other subjects, but it all started by those words I heard.
The sad truth is that the only way that someone can be 'great' in someones eyes is to be completely and utterly selfless. But even then -- that can be a bit much b/c then the seem like.. oh.. they are a push over (like people say about ms. lang) which isnt right. So then what makes a great person ? I guess i will find out. I will strive to be that person. I will strive to make a difference, in me, and the world. I will be known.
Little by little everyday.. I will get there. With the help of god -- I will.
(wow i jumped around alot from one subject to another.. and back, but.. if it doesnt make sense to you.. im sorry. its really not supposed to make sense but to two people. Those two -- only for me to know. So yeah).
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