so, i just got back from toronto. yes, i have officially crossed  international borders. how was it, you ask? well, it was a bit like a drive-by shooting...i'm just lucky i got out alive.

but God is amazing and He answered my prayers for this trip to the dollar. all i wanted was enough money to break the reigning JP record, and He brought it. God is good. and that's all i got, yo.

moral of the story: immediately returning from my trip to toronto, i decided to wash my car, which had turned from a nice pretty silver sheen to a nasty yellow from the two-month-old collection of dust and pollen in our area. as i am sitting in the brushless cave watching the light show as the cycles change from pre-rinse to soap to rinse to wax, a few thoughts start to run through my mind...gee, that soap is really bubble-gummy smelling, and it's strong...wow, that water has a chlorine smell like a pool...golly, that wind is really loud...wait, it's only loud when it's in the back...must be my antenna...wait, no, i don't have an antenna...what is that?...?...?...?...it really smells like that soap in here... :0)... :0| ... :0( why is my seat wet?...oh dear...at this point, i'm very concerned thinking that there is something manufacturally wrong (totally made up that word) with my vehicle. but then, the lights come on in that foggy, soap-laced brain of mine and i realized that my back window has somehow mysteriously been open the entire time. dare i say that my entire back seat is drenched in pinky-blue soapy wax goodness? why, yes, sadly i can now make candles out of the hardening goo congealing as i air out my back seat.but the good news is my boss's brand-new, $1500 projector wasn't in the backseat...oh, wait. yes, it was.

for christi...

moral of the story: as the steves* were travelling down the road on their shopping adventure in tyler, texas, they came upon a sport utility vehicle. like most texas suvs, there were stickers on the back windshield with a sports ball and the name of the child involved in the associated sport above it.  this one, however, had an enumerable amount of stickers and names.  it was rather far away and mrs. teve was trying to read if they were all for one kid or if they were for different people.  as we're debating this life issue of why it would occur to someone to put so much crap on a freaking expensive automobile, i turn to abby and say, "you know, i really hate it when people do that."  abby looks at me in all seriousness and replies, "when people read from far away?"  yes, abby.  when people read from far away, it just gets my goat.  baaaaah.**

*steve is the combination of the tevebaugh and the stall women

**note: my life has been consisting of cleaning out closets and doing laundry.  this is exciting as it gets, folks.

ehem...is this thing on?

ok...

Dear God,

I would personally like to request a future.  That sounds ridiculous because we all have a future.  But right now, I'm thinking a job would be nice.  Having money so I don't have to live with my mother in Podunkville, Texas would be wonderful.  (Not that I don't love my mother, but I wouldn't seriously date a guy who lived with his mother an didn't have a job, so why would I expect a guy to date me in those same circumstances?)  This was meant to be brief.  But, then again, You do know me, Lord.  And I tend to be really long-winded.  Anyway, thank You for Your blessings, and please consider my request.

In the name of Jesus Christ Your Son,

Amen

P.S. Please be with Tom Cruise.  I think he's suffered a severe head injury.