Zurui_fox's Xanga

Friday, November 03, 2006

Fri, 03 Nov 2006 02:41:51 GMT

No one uses xanga anymore but that's okay.... Jeez. I'm sure everyone has someone in their life that makes their life a living hell. One girl I know lets call her "B" she just loves doing EVERYTHING that I do. But she doesn't understand she is pushing all my buttons. so sick and tired of this stupid bitch. Stop revolving around my life and go find a life of your own.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Fri, 03 Nov 2006 02:41:48 GMT

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Sat, 16 Sep 2006 05:59:58 GMT

So today Jon brought up what is he going to do when I go to college. How I'd rather avoid the subject :P. I wish that he could come with me. I can barely last a week without him how would I last several months. I love him I really do. I never want to have to leave him for college but I'm going to have to... the comforting thought is that it'll be a while before I go to college.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Mon, 24 Jul 2006 00:04:39 GMT

"When one door closes, another one opens, and five more slam in your face"

Once again someone, namely my mother, holds higher expectations for me then everyone else, and I just don't reach them. Okay, so it was my first time driving on the road not having 2 hours of driving experience already, she asked if im ready feeling confident I said yes. But in the car she begins yelling and I'm nervous already but yelling only increases that. She really knows how to break a spirit and eat at confidence. For everyone who told me I couldn't drive, you win.

Break my Spirit, I'm getting used to it.

Friday, July 21, 2006

Fri, 21 Jul 2006 20:45:06 GMT

what am i doing wrong?
why is it always my fault?
why can't i be everything you want?
im just trying to be the best for us?why am i the one always crying?
...and why dont you care...
there's only so much i can take.

Monday, July 03, 2006

Mon, 03 Jul 2006 03:37:45 GMT

Do I just suck at getting boyfriends?
I love him. I really really do. But I hate feeling second best to his games. I hate the tone of voice he uses when he's angry. I hate when his eyes are so cold and sharp they peirce me like a knife. When he's mad I wanted to throw myself into traffic. I can't imagine being without him. I can't eat food it has no taste when he's angry. I love him. bleh i really have to think...but yea i just don't want to even bring up the break up possibility.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Mon, 19 Jun 2006 23:24:52 GMT

My Must Reads of all Time.

Vampire Kisses

Vampire Kisses 2: Kissing Coffins

Twilight

Single White Vampire

Love Bites

Tall Dark and Hungry

One quick Bite

Old Magic

Just Listen

Vampire beach: bloodlust

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Wed, 07 Jun 2006 05:27:57 GMT

Hey thought about updating.

Jon and I are good. I'm so happy with him :) We fight once in awhile but thats normal. I like making up. Summer school is bleh so boring drivers ed, ends friday and i start next week at iolani. WTF am i going to do there? I mean everyone is so quiet, and i'm so well not. Its time for a revolution.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Tue, 14 Mar 2006 04:51:42 GMT

Does it ever seem that people have higher expectations for you? and only you? I think thats how it is for me. I'm pretty sure I vaguely remember being told that people do have higher expectations for me? Why me? I don't understand. What have I done to make people think that I can live up to what they want me to? I can't, I just can't. I apparently keep letting people down. Its making me an emotional wreck because I can't keep up and I don't want to let anyone down. But its not fair to me to keep giving me higher expectations that I just can't obtain. I tell you I can't meet your expectations and yet you just keep setting the bar higher and higher... I can't keep up. I'm sorry I'm not perfect, I'm sorry I can't do it. I try my best I really do but there's just only so much you can ask before I break

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Wed, 22 Feb 2006 05:07:36 GMT

I WOULD LIKE TO GO ON A RANT:

So everyone knows I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs. So some kid keeps saying that I do. I get really annoyed because A) there are so few people that haven't tried those things and i'm proud to say i'm one B) If a teacher overhears and takes him seriously DON"T YOU THINK I"D BE IN A LITTLE BIT OF TROUBLE!?!?! fucking watch what you say C) I Hate being accused of stuff i've never done, and never will do.
I have morals believe it or not. And my very few morals I hold sacred. When I say I won't do anything like that MOST CHANCES ARE I WON"T! FUCKING A my own MOTHER believes I drink. WHY? No actual proof its more or less along the lines that from between the like 4 month period she checked a rum bottle in the fridge some is missing!...uhm did dad not have a party where everyone was drinking? Do you think someone could've drank it? Her response? "Not many people drink rum" FUCKING A there were over 100 people at the party you don't think theres even a slight chance that someone would drink the rum? Frick when I say I won't do that stuff I wont' do that stuff, why does no one believe me? Like just because I hang out with those types of people occasionally DOES NOT MEAN I DO THAT SHIT! I know I do some stuff that is "looked down upon" but seriously doesn't everyone? But I REFUSE to do SUBSTANCE ABUSE. So you want to know why I'm so pissed the accuser of this thing i do not do...this is why... You can't and shouldn't judge me by what YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT