| i need to get myself on track... so even if i'm not writing in here every day i want to start again. i have tried for awhile to be healthy, workout and whatnot but its just not doing anything for me. i need to restrict myself & get back to my controlled self. today wasnt so great so far, but i think i'll just have an apple for dinner and then be done for the night. i'll write in later |
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| fruit/veggie fast started tonite at 7 here we go |
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| i started a food/workout journal so i can watch everything i eat even when im not near the computer. ive been going to the gym every (or every other) day and its doing me a lot of good. im also trying to drink at least 2 cups of green tea a day. i still have alot of work to do but i think if i keep it up like this then i can do it |
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| im getting really depressed. i have never felt like this before and i really dont know what to do. i cant remember how long its been since ive gone a day without crying... i was at my bf's the other night just laying down & all of a sudden i broke out in tears. i couldnt even say what was wrong because nothing happened, i just felt like it. i cant even drink anymore because it just makes me sadder. what the fuck is happening to me?
i dont feel like sitting around... this winter break is too long. but i also dont feel like going out & doing something i just want to lay around. i keep pushing people away because i know they dont want to deal with someone whos upset all the time.... what do i do with myself? well all i had to eat today was a piece of pumpkin bread for breakfast. i went tanning and the whole time i just wanted to climb out, but i bought a whole month so i dont look like a pale ice queen anymore. i dont feel like working out. at least i dont feel like eating either. how long is this going to go on? :\ |
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| goood morning.... half an apple for breakfast then a mile run. hopefully nothing else to eat today except for a salad for dinner if i have to eat with my parents. ill update later tho :] |
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