Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end...Closing time... Hey three people that read this. I have recently realized that the hardest thing to do is to put your family in the back-burner. It's weird because my generation of the Creed/Cady family has been slightly nutorious and stealthy about it at the same time. Nate, Lindsay, Stephen II, and I have all had a desire to steer away from our home as much as possible... yet we I believe all four of us seem currently vulerable in our own sense. I've seen my eldest brother (fully related) on a table with tubes in him in every direction... with a life expectancy of less than twelve hours to live, who I would later save his life seven times within one month two years later... I've seen a close friend and family perish in a horrible fire that devasted a community, and was broadcasted over CNN as I was told they all died.... I have been to the funeral (and sadly and purposely missed Vincent's funeral) of numerous friends... I currently live with a roommate that daily deals with the struggles of the Iraq war, and the many friends he knew and perished during his tour... I cannot see this woman go this way. My grandmother has been dealing with a MILD case of Alzheimer's since my sopohomore year in highschool. She can still recognize all her closest relatives and talk about events from her past, yet the last ten minutes always seem to escape her. She went to the ER a week and a half ago with a stomach ache... since then and now she has been diagnosed with a twisted stomach (something the doctors at OMC have never seen before), Stage IV cancer of the spine (meaning it has metastisized from somewhere else in her body... most likely the kidney or pancreas), cancer of the pelvis (again, last statement), pneumonia infection, irreversible damage to the small and large intestines (although I may be incorrect... I was told by my mother that her intestines were basically worthless today... so I may only assume on this), and slight brain damage. It hurts to know that it hurts everybody else in my family more than it does me. Please do not take this with a grain of salt. I am devestated to know that the woman who raised me possibly more than my mother, and definately more than my father, is about to pass. I am so ungodly busy with my studies/research/fraternity/resume/volunteering that I consistently feel that I jepoardize any hope of getting into med/grad school if I just leave. Please do not get me wrong... I will ALWAYS put my family before my future in any sense. I am just so confused due to the fact that this is such a slow process. I feel guilty walking into my Calculas class knowing she is unable to do the same... yet also knowing that I am unable to make her better... YET ALSO knowing that all I can do is currently carry on with MY life while she lays there slowly dying... YET ALSO knowing that this is the week of Rock Chalk Revue with my fraternity (the biggest greek competition at KU, and the biggest philanthropy event by any college oranization in the midwest). Double-edged swords were never meant to be sliced one way. I have maybe written in here about twice every year for the past two or three years. I hate to say that I know the next time I make an entry my grandmother will be gone. I shall not write any longer. Please don't tell me you're sorry for me... my life is a lot better than mosts'... say a prayer for her instead of typing a comment for me. Nothing will make me happier than seeing a "0" for the number of comments I have. Just keep truckin', ~Mitch | 
