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| There's a man sitting at a bar
just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour. Then, a
big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from
the guy, and just drinks it all down.
The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was
just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand
seeing a man crying."
"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall
asleep, and I'm late to my office. My boss, in an outrage, fires me.
When I leave the building to my car, I found out it was stolen. The
police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home and when I
leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab
driver just drives away. I go home and when I get there, I find my wife
sleeping with the gardener. I leave home and come to this bar. And when
I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink
my poison."
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| Woman crashes when teaching dog to drive
BEIJING --A woman in Hohhot, the
capital of north China's Inner Mongolia region, crashed her car while
giving her dog a driving lesson, the official Xinhua News Agency said
Monday. No injuries were reported although both vehicles were slightly damaged, it said. The
woman, identified only be her surname, Li, said her dog "was fond of
crouching on the steering wheel and often watched her drive," according
to Xinhua. "She thought she would let the dog 'have a try' while
she operated the accelerator and brake," the report said. "They did not
make it far before crashing into an oncoming car." Xinhua did not say what kind of dog or vehicles were involved but Li paid for repairs
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|  Gun-toting granny still firing at age 82
JANESVILLE, Wis. --Not even
triple-bypass surgery has kept Rita Roherty from the shotgun shooting
that has been her life's passion. The 82-year-old great-grandmother
underwent surgery last year, and then recovered to win a bronze medal
in the women's shooting division of the Badger State Games in June.
She hit 91 of 100 clay pigeons to take third place in the competition, three years after winning the gold.
"When a gun fits you, it don't kick," she said of her pet Browning Lightning 12-gauge over-under shotgun.
Roherty, born Rita McAuliffe in 1923, had 14 children in 28 years of marriage before her husband, Donald Glynn, died.
Then she met George Roherty, who took her trap shooting on the couple's first date in 1973.
"It was a very good couples thing to do," she said.
She
says she shoots because she likes competing. When she won her gold
medal in shooting, she hit enough clay pigeons to tie a woman half her
age, then won in a shoot-off by hitting all 10 pigeons, she recalled.
She said she intends to keep shooting as long as she can still hold the gun, and she'll take on men as well as women.
But be forewarned -- Roherty admits she sometimes can't resist asking competitors, "You let an old lady beat you?"
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| "Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined."
-- Johnny Carson
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