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| Color me anxious. School starts tomorrow, and I've never not wanted to go back so badly.
Maybe it's just uncertainty that makes me anxious. Maybe it's a new routine to adjust to, along with new living quarters and roommates. Maybe it's knowing another year is beginning without the most important piece of my life. Maybe it's because I just don't want to be in school anymore. Or Manhattan, for that matter.
I'm going to wear my bright flowery dress tomorrow. Perhaps for compensation. Or as a distraction against drones of professors spouting off lines from syllabi. First days are always boring.
I like my room here. It feels good; it has good energy. It's warm and loving, and even better when I'm not the only one in it. I feel the same way about my bed. It's too big for one person. And it's the most incredible feeling waking up next to someone in the morning, hearing that they just watched you while you slept because you looked so peaceful.
I wonder if Africa actually smells as good as Pier 1 makes it smell.
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| The weather today is partly cloudy and exciting.
WHAM
Give me love
BAM
Give me life
BOOM
Give me perfection
I can't wait to start painting again.
Time to put on a huge production.
I'd like to be a yogi someday. Except for maybe all the meditation.
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| I can't stop writing today.
Chances are, you won't see any of it.
I wish I could get my thoughts down in an orderly way.
Really, what I wish, is that I could say what I can write. But somehow, saying it makes it more true than writing it, and I'm just not ready for it to be so true.
Today would have been better if I had slept through it.
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| Okay.I've been asked to update. Don't expect much, and don't expect it to happen again.
This is what you need to know.
I leave August 18th.
You know what that means. I need to see you.
Nothing else is important. There's just nothing else to say. | | |
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