matt made it official official last night hahahahahah. he announced that i was his girlfriend in his apartment so i guess we're in the game lol. uh 131.5 this morning still. i think i'm starting to get a beer gut : ( time to start some crunches again pretty hard. i ate this morning because i had that after inebriation grumble and it was weird. not eating the rest of the day and i'm off to work.
131 before i got in the shower. i did eat, though. after not eating yesterday and gettin trashed. i tried a small piece of chocolate cake [literally a tablespoon] that my mom made. i had a small handful of baked ruffles, probably 1/4 cup of beans & a serving of cheese cubes. it seems like a lot...
i'm about to go jump on the trampoline here in a bit and i can go for quite some time on it cause its fun, lol.
so i was at the party last night and mitch walks up to me and asks if matt and i are like officially dating and fucking around or whatever. i really don't think it's his business, but i just say 'no' and he says 'well good, cause matt and my friend sarah have been hangin out all the time and they're pretty much dating.' i was pretty pissed. everyone at the party said it wasn't true, that sarah just has a HUGE crush on matt & matt isn't interested, but mitch and sarah are friends and he wants her to hook up with matt.
so matt asked if we could just make us 'exclusive' which i guess doesn't slap the boyfriend title on? lol he said so.
so it's 'exclusive' atm.
i dont think theres a difference at all. he just doesnt have to tell girls he has a girlfriend lol.
132.5 this morning. i started the rag this morning too, though. i also had peanut butter cookies yesterday. : ( i hate when work is boring, and they bring good cookies! anyway, i'll be partying this weekend i'm sure so i won't be eating. i work all day & i'm pacting myself to not eat past the waffle i had this morning. [had something before work, ate early so there's time to burn it. shouldn't be hard to burn the calories in one waffle] 2:30-9:45, drive to work, work 10:30 - 4:00 [which is really about 5:00 or 6:00) so i'm hoping i'm set.
when i got off work last night i was supposed to go to matt's. i went over there and he was passed out with liz in his bed next to him [not cuddled up, liz was laying with her head towards the middle and he was laying the same way, their feet were on opposite sides of the bed...] so i went home. i was kinda pissed. he texted me at 9:15 this morning and asked why i went home, apologized & asked if i was pissed. it's now 1:00 and i still haven't responded cause i am a little irritated.
oh, and i jumped on the trampoline for like 15 minutes, lol.
well, i'm not sure if i can do the 129 by monday, but i'll still try. i know i'm going to be busy all weekend so i'm hoping hoping hoping.
132 seems to be a breaking point for me. i went shopping last weekend, i forgot to mention this in previous blogs... size 6 for jeans. not insanely large, but it's still a step down. at any rate, i can't break out of 132. it's irritating. i'm sdtill going for 130/129 by the end of the wekeend, though. wish me luck, i'm wrking ALL FUCKING WEEKEND.
oh & the not-currently-slutty matt and i are doing well... last night he pulled up my shirt & told me i had a sexy stomach lol. and he always texts me and tells me i'm beautiful, it's cute. something nice to hear : )
sorry, off to work, i'll definitely comment al of you on like, tuesday or something lol.
132. hoping to hit 129 by monday. probably not gonna happen, but i'll be at 130 for sure, well, i hope. fuck i just want it off. like, even half a pound a day, i don't care. i want to be thin enough for me by my birthday.
how can i fast for that long & not lose much weight? what?! really?! fuck.
i've been kickin it with two matts recently. i don't know whats going on. i've been drinking ALL THE TIME. like this whole last two weeks has been a blur of like 90 calories every few days and too much alcohol. i can't remember most of it. i just know i didn't eat. cause everyone told me they hadn't seen me eat.
i fucked up a little today. came to my mom's at about 9:00 am. had two slices of pizza, 2 cheese sticks & a piece of dessert pizza... purged a good amount of it in the shower.
but i'm not eating anymore today, and i ate it all WAY before noon. i'm hoping i don't gain. if i can maintain through that, i'm good for another fast. since i'll be working all day and night the next three days and all weekend i'm sure i'll be partying.
so, uh.
i'm broke. i want to be skinnier, and everyone is telling me i don't need to be. but i'm not happy with it i'd settle with more toned. thats what i'm working at.
no one ever reads all of these words i seem to type so if you want to know the deal between the two matts let me know.
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