Just one of those moods!

Have you ever just been in one of those moods where you don't know what you really feel like. You don't know wheather your happy or sad, your just like blah? Well that is how I feel. I want to be happy because I have so much to be thankful for, but then I feel like I am sad for no reason. I don't know... 

I do know that today I had a really serious conversation with my boyfriend, josh and it was really wierd. I can't talk about what we discussed but for some reason he still loves me. I have never really had an argument with someone and then when we were done fighting we both said we were sorry and then everything was ok. He still amazes me. I think this one is a keeper...ok, i know he is. I think I am falling in love with someone who actually loves me back and it is the best feeling ever.

We share all of our thoughts out loud and don't hold back. We have gotten in arguments, but in the end we love eachother even more then before. We can be together for long periods of time and not want to kill eachother. We talk about personal things together and give eachother support that we need. We help eachother out no matter if we want to or not. We do all these things and more because we love one another. For once in my life I am happy being with someone because he treats me with respect. He may be younger than me, but it doesn't show. He keeps my life exciting and I love him for that. I love that he loves me for the goofy self I am.

Lord thank you for bringing Josh into my life. And thank you for all the wonderful gifts you have given me. I am nothing without the love of my Lord.

love you all...love abbe

life can be hard sometimes...

(but you are never alone)

So I haven't really told any body, but I have to move out of my appartment and move back in with my mom. This is not a problem because I love my mom so much and it will be nice to hang out like old times. The thing is...I wanted so badly to prove to everyone and most of all myself that I can be on my own and not be dependant on anyone but myself. I proved myself wrong...Times are hard right now because I want more than anything to live on my own and do things that an adult would be responsible for. Everything started off really good and then I realized that I haven't saved any money since I have been living on my own.

I am really good with my money, like not spending it on things that I don't need and not going on a shopping spree when I have no money to really spend. I manage money really well for the most part, but when bills are more than what you make in a month that is a problem. This is the one thing that I never realized was so hard...BILLS!, they can kill ya.

I am thankful for a lot of things since I have moved out which is the only thing that keeps me going. I had no job for three months before I got into Kroger then all of a sudden I had a job, then moved up to floor supervisor, then moved up to office. Kroger is making a huge hour cut from several employees, which meens that over half of Kroger employees have no hours so therefor wont get a pay check. This could have been me.Scary I know! Thankfully God was looking out for me and I think that my praying paid off. I am thankful because I need this job and I tried really hard to be the best I could be at this job. Unfortunately I don't get paid much, but I do get hours, which in the end helps me servive.

So the thing is I get to move out of my place and back in to moms. whoohoo! I say that as a good thing for the most part because my mom and I haven't had much time these past few months to spend time together. The only thing is I want to be able to be out on my own and know that I can take care of myself, but I guess there will be other chances. In this whole mess of things God has never left my side and although I get stressed out about work and bills and not being able to spend time with friends and family, I have still managed to not lose sight of the one that created me.

God is real and He never stops being the one that protects me. I may not like what I have to do, but I am not going to give up because God is by my side. He helps me strive to be better, stronger, braver, wiser, and so much more.  I could not be without my heavenly Father. Without these tests and obsticals I would not be as strong as I am today. The advise I have for those that are going through bad times and wonder if there will ever be a way to be happy and satisfied with life, well God will show you the way. You have to let Him be in the drivers seat and trust that He will bring you home safely. Stop trying to do everything on your own, but let God help you. I may have to move back in with my mom, but everything is going to be ok, because I am being protected.

thanks for listening...I love everyone that God loves... because God loves me. And He cared enough to die for me so that I may live. love, abbe

The love of a friend

Today I had to get up early to be at a meeting for work. The meeting I thought was going to be boring and pointless, but it wasnt if what we talked about is going to help kroger become a better place for workers and customers. I hope things can change for the better, because fostoria lacks nice things and we need something good to come out of this new store. If you need groceries come in and see me, I love to see friendly faces, it keeps me happy and makes my work shift go faster.

I don't know why but this meeting made me think about my friends and meeting new people. I noticed that there were people at work that I never met and it was buggin me becuase I like to know people I work with so I have someone to talk to and I just love to know as many people as I can. So in our meeting today I was able to meet some more new faces and that was really neat to me. I don't know if many people realize how many employees work at Kroger, but there is a lot. You have cashiers, office, dairy, meat, produce, dely, stockers, managers and so many more departments, its hard to know everybody, but it is fun if you do know them all.

There are always people that you work with that you don't really care for. There are those that talk to you and those that talk about you behind your back. There are people that are nice one day then the next they are absolutely the complete opposite. And there are some people that are nice to everyone no matter if they deserve it or not and don't really want to make enimies with anyone. (that seems to be my category) With this beeing said I have found myself stuck in situations that I don't like to be in.

I have already said that I have gotten the honer to step up and work in the office. This may not seem to be a big deal to most, but really it is a major big deal. I have stepped up and now I do a lot of work that most people in my position have worked for over ten years. This makes a lot of people mad, and it has put a lot of pressure on me. I can't go into full detail about it all, but lets just say I was asked to work in the office before some people that have worked at Krogers way longer than I have. This doesn't go to well with those people that would now like my job.

But anywhoo I just realized that I may not know all the people that work at krogers or even like all the people at krogers, but I do have two friends there that would do anything for me. So out of all this I do have a friend maybe even two. I love friends. Everyone should have one. hehe

love you all, love abbe 

Bringing in the new year!

Happy New Year everybody!

Starting off a new year right...well I watched the ball drop with my mom and my boyfriend. Now I am at one of my good friends houses hanging out and having fun.

I want to start my new year off right this year. I thought about how this year has been so unorganized and how I haven't made time for the more important things in my life. I want to start visiting friends and family more, they are so important to me and my life, but I have been so busy with other things and it has taken their place. I never wanted it to be this way.

I have to move out of my appartment and back into my moms house. I am kind of excited, but bumbed out all at the same time. I love my mom with all my heart don't get me wrong, but I feel it is time to be out on my own and starting my life. I am going to be 22 this June, so in my oppinion I should be on my own. I am going to save money while at my moms and then get back out there on my own.

There are so many other things that I want to make happen this year, I sure hope it all happens. To everyone that has new year resolutions...Good Luck!

Peace out homies...love abbe

Jordan...

When I recieved the news my jaw dropped. No words could leave my lips. My eyes filled up with tears and I began to weep. I thought to myself, this could not be true that such a loving young man could lose his life on this day. 12-21-2006

Jordan I am sad today only because you lost your life at such a young age and the heart ache being felt by your family and loved ones, but as I began to pray for your family and your friends I realized that you actually just began your new life. There is no doubt in my mind that you are sitting at Gods table rejoicing and singing praises to His name.

You are a bright young man that loves the Lord with no hesitation. You are loved by so many people who miss you at this very moment. Your bright smile and loving heart will be missed but never forgotten. Your in Gods hands now.

To everyone that feels loss for this friend, I am sorry that you hurt at this time. If there is anything I could do for anyone I am here. I will be praying for you all and to the Parker family May Gods Peace Find You At This Time.

Love you Jordan... love abbe