Currently Playing Aladdin: Special Edition Soundtrack By Various Artists see related

- a whole new world

waiting for life to begin... again.

its funny that i should find myself in the same position as i did a couple of years ago. two years ago... summertime... i was waiting for a move to toronto... vancity living was getting to be too compressed and too stifling... i couldn't wait to begin a new life in toronto and explore things there that i couldn't explore here... i wanted to discover myself...  come out of the closet... learn to become gay... meet gay people... learn what its like to date... learn what its like to be sexual... expand my horizons and culminate new experiences...

i remember clearly how excited i was in my last few months here in vancouver... i remember how antsy i was watching other people move on in the world after high school and feeling stagnant as i waited for toronto for my chance to grow. i remember feeling frustrated... feeling like the world was passing me by... that i was always playing catch-up. waiting for life to begin...

now... two years later... i have achieved what i have wanted to achieve. i moved to toronto. i came out to everyone... family.. friends... coworkers. i met gay people. i met straight people. i learned how to be comfortable with my sexuality and comfortable as a sexual person. i dated. i've had good relationships... i've had bad ones... i've had four month ones... i've had a couple hour rendez-vous... and once again... i'm waiting.

ironically... waiting for a move back home to vancouver. i guess i feel that i've learned all that i possibly could at this particular point in my life in toronto. i'm sure that one day i will leave vancouver with something else to learn and other horizons to capture... but for now... home is where i feel i ought to be. there's so much here in vancouver that i still have yet to learn. things that hadn't been available to me before... but now have suddenly presented themselves. and so now i wait anxiously for the day.... four months from now... when i can finally pack up my things in toronto and come back home and start living and growing once again in a direction that previously had not been feasible...

seriously can't wait...