Yes, I'm back.  Back at work.  Back home.  Back from vacation. 

I'm sure the beach would have been, could have been, should have been nice.  But I got sick!  Can you believe that???  I got a sore throat, achy eardrums, headache, intestinal problems, and extreme fatigue.  I laid in bed for several days, mostly sleeping.  Hell, I could do that at home!  I did get to the beach twice for walks, and it was quite nice, so that's something.  And I'm feeling better now (naturally), so that's good too, I guess.

Anyway, as most of you know, I'm Bipolar and my significant other suffers from severe chronic depression.  No pills seem to help anymore, for the depression.  Nothing works.  I have a friend whose mother is the same.  They are considering EST (or ECT, whichever you want to use) for her.  I mentioned this to Partner.  It's not as bad as it used to be, years ago.  And the success rate is high.  Naturally, Partner's a bit nervous about the topic, and I would be too, but I've known people who've gone through this and the process usually does help.  Have any of you ever gone through this treatment before?  Any advice?  I'm thinking of suggesting it to our psychiatrist, who seems to have given up, which is kind of annoying.

Another friend of mine told me that some years ago, it was the same for them, depression-wise.  And they ended up going to Duke University's medical center for treatment.  They recommended we look into it.  I don't know about that, though.  That's two states away and would be a heck of a drive and because of Partner's work, they could not do inpatient, so I'm not sure how realistic it is.  It would be nice to find a closer facility we believed in though.

Well, I'm at work, so I better run.  Take care.

My significant other has Salmonella poisoning!!!  We ate out Saturday night, and Partner had a big bowl of Tomato Dill soup.  Immediate nausea, so we got Pepto and Tums.  Nothing helped.  A couple of days later, though, it really hit!  Non-stop fever, continued nausea, vomiting, the runs, and extreme fatigue.  It's not gotten better at all throughout the week.  If anything, it might even be worse!  I called the Health Department in the county we ate in, as well as the restaurant's manager.   I'm not sure what else to do.  Partner can't make it to a hospital or doctor -- they are too weak and besides, probably couldn't last long enough without having to, you know, go.... This is very uncool.  Tomatoes have been yanked by restaurants in this area, but maybe a bit too late.  And my poor companion has just been laying on the couch all damn week, bored to death, with the bloody TV on the whole time.  I'd be going crazy too!  And to top it off, I don't see how we can make the CURE concert on Sunday, down in Atlanta, which seriously bums me out.  I've been looking forward to this show for a year now.  *sigh*  It always seems like there's something new, you know?

Well, I hope the rest of you are well and safe and trying to attain happiness.  

I still remember when my then-psychiatrist told me about Abilify -- back in December, 2002.  I had been on Haldol, Risperdal, and Zyprexa, mostly Zyprexa, and I hated the damn side effects (especially the tremendous weight gain).  I had been on antipsychotics for years, and I am convinced I needed and still need to be on one.  My doctor had been a Zyprexa specialist, but now that I think of it, while he told me of the problems Zyprexa was experiencing, and the possibility that it might be forced off the market, he must not have been that good.  I say this because when he told me about a new antipsychotic called Abilify that was being released in January 2003, he said -- and I quote -- "there are no known side effects."  Boy, was I excited!  So, I've been on 15 mg a day ever since.  And you know what?  That fuckhead was wrong!!!  It now appears there are TONS of side effects!  I've been anxious and anxiety-prone ever since the end of 2002.  I have a hard time sitting still.  I pace, constantly.  I lost weight after I went off Zyprexa.  However, I've since gained it back.  My blood sugar has gone up over the past couple of years.  Scary stuff.  Look at this:




Damn!  I've experienced about half of these.  And these are just the main side effects.  There are even worse ones.  I don't know what to do.  There aren't any other good antipsychotic alternatives that I know of, except perhaps Seroquel.  However, I've looked up its side effects, and they are pretty much the same.  So, my question is, what's better:  not experiencing psychosis, or definitely experiencing regular headaches, sleepiness during the day and insomnia at night, anxiety, chest pain, restlessness, tremors, and weight gain???  WTF???

Does anyone have any thoughts on this issue?