| It's really not easy to understand. I wish I'm normal. And I wish I don't have the mentality that I have. Because no matter how good you have it, or how much people have it worst than you do, it's not the point. It's just not the point anymore. |
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| I had another episode. I'm really just hanging onto a very thin piece of thread now. Is that what's going to happen to me? |
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| Life is, good. There's space for more revamping but, it's good. This will sound stupid but I'm actually letting myself be happy. Which is, almost impossible sometimes but I actually managed.
I'm trying to clean up my act.
Still plant-free. And satisfied. Procrastination is not fully extinguished but there's less of it, which is always better. More productive writing getting done. Meeting The Telescope deadlines. Keeping grades up in classes. More reading. Tivo yoga. Got a new phone, finally. Less impulsive buying and consuming. Kinda quit job but not really? So I'm scavenging for a new one. Still on "diet", I get on and off track but hey, babysteps. But seriously, if you need to deal.. drive thru Carl's Jr and order cap n crunch smoothie, its healing power is incredible.
Hooray for progression. |
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| EvaluationThere's a hell of a lot more on my plate this semester. But honestly, I really think I can do it. I'm not letting myself fail or do mediocre. I must excel. And not succumb to procrastination, dammit. I'm back on writing for a newspaper. Seems legit. Staff members seem pretty hilarious and chillest and such. Writing for the Telescope alone will keep me busy already. It's okay though, it's training. Other classes seem more than tolerable so I'll live. But I think I'm going to drop my Anthropology class. Not because of the teacher, well except for her capability to speak five words per second, and her fascination for bonobos. That's all she talked about for the introduction. Literally. Bonobos and their sexual habits. All I saw in that screen was oversized bonobo testicles and clitorides. She talked about bonobo sexual habits like it was all she ever knew. It overwhelmed me. Didn't realize that most of Anthropology revolves more around animals. I mean I love animals. But I don't love bonobo clitorides. So I'm replacing Bonobo Clitorides 100 to Political Science 100. That transition looks appealing.
Books books books. Write write write.
Diet diet diet. Lose lose lose.
I'm sick of my current job already. I hate working with food. I'm working less hours cause of school. I'm finding a new job. Yet again.
I don't know about you guys but I really really think that Geoff looks like a duck. Not that he's ugly or anything. He just looks like a cute duck. Hahaha. I love him. I really do. And it's not that type of love where you say I love you in EVERYTHING that it loses all meaning. Such as putting it in comments or text messages or icons or backgrounds. And you know what I'm saying right? It's more of a said and known type of love. Like if you read the blog that I wrote on myspace that says "Type Love" which I wrote prior we started our relationship, that is exactly what it is. And people can get as cynical and doubtful about love as much as they want. I've heard about countless heartbreaks, falling out and other people's pain. Maybe it will happen, maybe it won't. But sometimes we forget about hope. And because I haven't I'm happy that I found this. I have been. That to me is as real as it gets.
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