abyss_called_life's Xanga

Friday, July 18, 2008

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 14:22:21 GMT

I WILL LOSE 25 POUNDS
I WILL LOSE 25 POUNDS
I WILL LOSE 25 POUNDS
I WILL LOSE 25 POUNDS
I WILL LOSE 25 POUNDS
I WILL LOSE 25 POUNDS
I WILL LOSE 25 POUNDS
I WILL LOSE 25 POUNDS
I WILL LOSE 25 POUNDS
I WILL LOSE 25 POUNDS

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Sun, 29 Jun 2008 04:20:39 GMT

IMSICKASHIT.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Sat, 10 May 2008 23:33:16 GMT

It's really not easy to understand. I wish I'm normal. And I wish I don't have the mentality that I have. Because no matter how good you have it, or how much people have it worst than you do, it's not the point. It's just not the point anymore.

Monday, March 31, 2008

Mon, 31 Mar 2008 16:50:40 GMT

I had another episode. I'm really just hanging onto a very thin piece of thread now. Is that what's going to happen to me?

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Wed, 05 Mar 2008 15:49:45 GMT

BOM CHIKA WAH WAH!

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Thu, 28 Feb 2008 18:05:55 GMT

Life is, good. There's space for more revamping but, it's good. This will sound stupid but I'm actually letting myself be happy. Which is, almost impossible sometimes but I actually managed.

I'm trying to clean up my act.

Still plant-free. And satisfied. Procrastination is not fully extinguished but there's less of it, which is always better. More productive writing getting done. Meeting The Telescope deadlines. Keeping grades up in classes. More reading. Tivo yoga. Got a new phone, finally. Less impulsive buying and consuming. Kinda quit job but not really? So I'm scavenging for a new one. Still on "diet", I get on and off track but hey, babysteps. But seriously, if you need to deal.. drive thru Carl's Jr and order cap n crunch smoothie, its healing power is incredible.

Hooray for progression.

Evaluation

Wed, 23 Jan 2008 19:08:05 GMT

There's a hell of a lot more on my plate this semester. But honestly, I really think I can do it. I'm not letting myself fail or do mediocre. I must excel. And not succumb to procrastination, dammit. I'm back on writing for a newspaper. Seems legit. Staff members seem pretty hilarious and chillest and such. Writing for the Telescope alone will keep me busy already. It's okay though, it's training. Other classes seem more than tolerable so I'll live. But I think I'm going to drop my Anthropology class. Not because of the teacher, well except for her capability to speak five words per second, and her fascination for bonobos. That's all she talked about for the introduction. Literally. Bonobos and their sexual habits. All I saw in that screen was oversized bonobo testicles and clitorides. She talked about bonobo sexual habits like it was all she ever knew. It overwhelmed me. Didn't realize that most of Anthropology revolves more around animals. I mean I love animals. But I don't love bonobo clitorides. So I'm replacing Bonobo Clitorides 100 to Political Science 100. That transition looks appealing.

Books books books. Write write write.
Diet diet diet. Lose lose lose.

I'm sick of my current job already. I hate working with food. I'm working less hours cause of school. I'm finding a new job. Yet again.

I don't know about you guys but I really really think that Geoff looks like a duck. Not that he's ugly or anything. He just looks like a cute duck. Hahaha.

I love him. I really do. And it's not that type of love where you say I love you in EVERYTHING that it loses all meaning. Such as putting it in comments or text messages or icons or backgrounds. And you know what I'm saying right? It's more of a said and known type of love. Like if you read the blog that I wrote on myspace that says "Type Love" which I wrote prior we started our relationship, that is exactly what it is. And people can get as cynical and doubtful about love as much as they want. I've heard about countless heartbreaks, falling out and other people's pain. Maybe it will happen, maybe it won't. But sometimes we forget about hope. And because I haven't I'm happy that I found this. I have been. That to me is as real as it gets.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Mon, 14 Jan 2008 03:08:32 GMT

Life and people man, life and people.

What can I do really? I can't change people. If anything they should do it themselves. But when can altering oneself come to a full realization? Especially when the people who are in dire need of change shut it out, only letting the common and familiarity in, which unconsciously lets the brainwashing in until they are entirely consumed. So what can I do. What can anyone do really. I can only change myself. Obviously. How pathetic have we become.

The odds for a better world and better people are getting slimmer and slimmer.
Ironic.

New year, new self

Tue, 01 Jan 2008 20:43:17 GMT

I'm inspired. And motivated. Therefore I am now determined.

Resolutions

1. Lose 20 pounds
2. Eat healthier
3. MUCH LESS PROCRASTINATION
4. EXCELLENT GRADES
5. 6 months sober from you know what, and will continue to be
6. Lose INSECURITY
7. Find contentment in self image
8. Read write read write read write read write.. big dreams require big sacrifices
9. Get back on yoga
10. Work out 2-3 times a week, AT LEAST
11. Be "SAFE"
12. CONTROL
13. Splurge once in a blue moon, save big money
14. Connect
15. Reconnect with old roots
16. Haven't been watching TV as much as I used to, I want to continue this.. too much TV can only brainwash you so much
17. Be a better sister, daughter, friend, girlfriend, person

So far.

Monday, December 24, 2007

Mon, 24 Dec 2007 13:56:37 GMT

Downside.
I quite my job.
It's sketchy, I mean, c'mon.
Tight on money.
Waiting on the new job.
Paying for tuiton.
Need financial aid.
Need to take my math placement test.
I'm sorry I have "neglected" some of my friends.
I'm sorry it seems like I'm choosing my boyfriend over you guys.
I'm trying to balance it out.

Upside.
Joanne is home! And I haven't seen her yet. What is wrong with me.
Geoff got me a new camera and a SALVADOR DALI BOOK with all his work!!!
My uncle and brother are staying here for Christmas.
Seeing Geoff's face when he opened his presents.
Epic fun times with homeslices.
5 WEEK BREAK.
I hope my mom gets me that new touch screen Verizon phone but, I doubt it.
RED LOBSTER ON WEDNESDAY FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER.
Kuya and uncle are hilarious, but I think they're gay for each other.