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| So in early 2000 i'm sitting at Jaime and Jeremy's house and i
pick up a card... it says "Congratulations" on the front. Curious i
open it and it says "on your new addition" i look at jaime and freak
out "your pregnant!#$%#%&%&(" of course she was she gave birth
later that year to a healthy baby boy named Matheu Draven ... Moveing
on... I'm at jaime and jeremy's again with Vicky we're partying as
usual and this beautiful specimin of manhood walks thru the door...
This angels name was "Bubba" and I fell in love at first sight... A
little down the road Vicky hooked us up... We were inseperable... We
spent a lot of time at Jaime's house cause Jaime was both of our best
friend... One night that i remember the most we were "up" and there
were alot of people at the house... Jaime, Bubba, and I were huddled in
a corner talking nonstop about our past when we were kids and stuff
like that... That was the first time i noticed the way Jaime and Bubba
acted togeather... They were in Love... and I was in the middle...
Needless to say Bubba and Jaime got togeather shortly after bubba and i
broke up... They were the happiest of happy couples Jeremy moved out
Bubba moved in and all was well... I stll kept in contact cause they
were both my friends... Three years ago today I was getting off work
and my Fiance comes in he says "Mandi we gotta go, Jaime and bubba's
house cought on fire Jaime is dead, bubba and Draven are in critical
condition..." That echo'ed in my head for a moment before it cought on
and I broke down... I got on the phone and found out where they were
and started to drive... I made it to the hospital eventually and his
whole family was there including my other best friend Allen... I stayed
at the hospital till the wee hours of the night but they wouldnt let
anyone in to see him... so i went home... I got a call later that
morning that Bubba too had passed away... All my attention was left to
draven the adoreable blond haired blue eyed 3 yr old little boy that
lived... Draven had to go thru over a year of skin graphs and severe
medical treatments before he could even leave the hospital... He is
fine today except for the scarring on his face and back... | | |
| So... It's like 8 in the morning and I'm up cause yeah the husband had
to go to work early this morning... Things are getting better over
this way except for the fucking weather... I don't care what anyone has
told you... IT'S FUCKING COLD IN THE NORTHEAST! It like snowed on
October 29th.... FUCKING SNOWED in OCTOBER... That's outrageous... I'm
just a southern girl I'm not use to this shit and from what I hear this
isn't the worse "Wait till February " they all say, fuck February it's
fucking cold now... I did on the other hand get a nice warm jacket...
It's like 2 jackets in one with a feather down inner jacket and a thick
ass cotton lined wind/water proof outer shell. It's for like Sub Zero
temperatures which is cool with me at least I'll be post toasty this
winter heh... So I'm on a diet right I've lost like close to 40 lbs and
still losing. Why I chose to lose this weight in the winter up here
don't ask me but it's going and I'm going to fucking freeze... God I
dread this... Snow up to my EARS literally fun stuff.. Hopefully I'll
be thin enough by the end of winter to snowboard or some shit at least
get some fun out of this miserable weather... Fucking Snow... | | |
|
So... I moved to Massachusetts in July. My husbands family lives here
which is good for him bad for me... I've never felt more alone. t's
like his family makes a special point to exclude me from
everything..Last night my husband comes in and asks me "Is it alright
if i go out to dinner with Lisa, Ron, and Renee. (His step mother
father and sister) and of course i say "Well what about me" and he says
"Oh it's just a family dinner".... Hmm family dinner? So what am I some
distant relitive? This isnt the first time this has happend. They have
these little "family dinners" about once a month. I dont know what do
do... i feel like i'm being petty but it really hurts my feelings...
When Adam lived with me in Mississippi my mother and step father took
him into their homes because i loved him... they didnt ask any
questions they didnt pass any judgements they just accepted him as he
was... It seems that his family can not do the same. I feel like they
pass judgement on me in everything that i do. To them I can't do
anything right... And it affects my everyday life... I feel lonely most
of the day. And I feel on the defencive When he gets home from work...
I feel that he looks at me and sighs and asks himself "Why Me" every
time he looks at me... Thats not very good for a girls self esteem... | | |
| Close your eyes...And go back...
Before Xanga...
Before the Internet or the MAC
Before semi automatics and crack
Before SEGA or Super Nintendo...
Way back...
I'm talkin' bout hide and go seek at dusk.
Red light, Green light.
Playing kickball & dodgeball until your porch light came on.
Mother May I?
Red Rover
Hula Hoops
Running through the sprinkler
Happy Meals
Wait...
Watchin' Saturday Morning cartoons, power rangers, ninja turtles
or what about legends of the hidden temple, global guts, double dare, and who
could forget Snick and All that with Kenon and Kel.
Fat Albert, Road Runner, Smurfs, Picture Pages, G-Force & He-Man Wonder Woman
& Scooby Doo Underoos
Playing Dukes of Hazard
Catchin' lightning bugs in a jar
Christmas morning...
Your first day of school
Bedtime Prayers and Goodnight Kisses
Playing fairies and indians in your back yard.
Climbing trees
Getting an ice cream off the ice cream truck
A million mosquito bites and sticky fingers
Jumpin' down the steps
Jumpin' on the bed
Pillow fights
Runnin ' till you were out of breath
Laughing so hard that your stomach hurt
Being tired from playin'
Your first crush...
Rainy days at school meant playing "Heads up 7UP" in the classroom Remember
that?
I'm not finished yet...
Kool-Aid was the drink of the summer
Giving your friends a ride on your handlebars
Wearing your new shoes on the first day of school
Class Field Trips
When nearly everyone's mom was at home when the kids got there.
When a quarter seemed like a fair allowance, and another quarter a Miracle.
The tooth fairy was awesome because you got money from her.
When any parent could discipline any kid, or feed him or use him to carry
groceries, and nobody, not even the kid, thought a thing of it.
When your parents took you to McDonalds and you were so cool.
When being sent to the principal's office was nothing compared to the fate
that awaited a misbehaving student at home.
Basically, we were in fear for our lives but it wasn't because of drive by
shooting s, drugs, gangs, etc.
Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat! And some of us are
still afraid of em!
Didn't that feel good, just to go back and say, "Yeah, I remember that!"
I want to go back to the time when...
Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo"
Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "do over!"
or "ooooo...ma ma ma maaa...im telling.." meant you did something bad
"Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest.
Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in "monopoly"
Catching fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening
It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends.
Being old, referred to anyone over 20.
The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was cooties.
Nobody was prettier than Mom
Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better
It was a big deal to finally be tall enough to ride the "big people" rides at
the amusement park.
Getting a foot of snow was a dream come true.
Abilities were discovered because of a "double-dog-dare"
Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for giggles.
The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team.
Water balloons were the ultimate, ultimate weapon.
Older siblings were the worst tormentors, but also the fiercest protectors.
If you can remember most or all of these, then you have LIVED!!!
| | |
| So yeah I'm dealing with alot of stress lately... Some of it is too
personal to talk about on an open blog so yeah if you want to know just
ask me i'm sure i'll spill my guts... I have a bad tendency to do
that... One thing that I can talk about is the fact that all my friends
in mississippi lost everything they own to Hurricane Katrina... Yes i
said MISSISSIPPI and not NEW ORLEANS... The news seems to want to
minimize the damage that occured in Mississippi compaired to New
Orleans... So New Orleans got flooded.... The news focused on a city
underwater when there were about 10 cities that were completly
devistated on the coast of mississippi... NOT just on the coast tho by
the time the storm hit hattiesburg which is about 85 miles from the
coast it still carried catagory 3 winds it tore that city apart aswell
and it was 85 miles from the beach!!! This storm devistated the lives
of hundreds of thousands of people in the state of mississippi and
because New Orleans is more well known they got most of the
publicity... I'm sick of it... My people in Southern Mississippi
deserve better... I talk to my best friend in Ocean Springs every day
and get the real news. News like there are many MANY more dead then
they are releasing to the public... They dont want to scare people.
Numbers so vast it's unbelieveable... Did you know that there are 1,200
people that after the storm are unaccounted for that number is probably
slightly lower now that they are recovering the dead. The news is
reporting the death toll around 220 as of yet. The inside reports i'm
getting are far higher more around the range of 800... And yet it took
4 days for them to get assistance from the government... Little do most
of you know... There is a fully functioning AirForce base about 3
blocks from the beach right in the middle of biloxi... You want to know
what there orders were??? "Shoot on Sight" anyone attempting to gain
access to the base for help... They had water, they had food, they were
playing basketball and exerciseing the day after the storm for fucks
sakes... Now you may ask why didnt they help??? They were told not too,
because aparently it's more important to conserve our military then it
is to help civilians survive... People actually DIED because they didnt
have clean water to drink or food to eat and yet the people on that
base are fat and healthy... Right across the street from the base is a
school that they used for a shelter... During the storm 3 of the 4 wals
that hold up that school collapsed... Did the military come to help...
Surely not they had to do calinistenics and play basketball while the
mothers and children across the street cried cause they were hungry and
thirsty... Is this really our fucking country it sounds to me like some
3rd world country over seas but no this is right here in our back
yard... HAH if it was a 3rd world country they would have gotten
support alot sooner then they did but alas no our countrymen arent as
important as how good it looks to rush to the aid of another more poor
country... Gotta keep up the appearances!!! Anyways i'm utterly sickend
by the way our military and our government delt with this problem a lot
more people would have survived had assistance came sooner but we're
not that important... We're only Americans afterall... | | |
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