it's been a long while, babyIt's been a long while since I've written & the lime hisses softly in the ice and tonic, cubes clinking softly against the side of the glass. this is my saturday night. I write now because of an innate sadness I wish to shed like scales around my heart ice age coming throw it in a fire You think I'd learn, juvenile flights and fights of fancy left pericardium scar tissue too tough, too callous to burst. he is not all i think he is, please say he's not. Of course, trouble arises with curves slinking, slinking, who's to say she has a better claim on him than I? I, too scared, with black hole in my stomach, afraid to admit attraction, afraid to touch or to be touched, touch is too intense if it is touch from someone you love. i suppose last year doesn't amount to much, hour upon hour upon hour of conversation is not tantamount to feeling, is it not is it not is it NOT. [I am too scared to admit my feelings and other girls come swooping in like vultures, yes, like vultures, like carrion birds attracted to sinew and sin. I fell in love with him for him, not for his body. There is no vehicle of expression for my feelings, my hope is blindfolded and waiting for the rifle] how many times must this happen before i learn that i was not meant to love? | 
