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af21porvida
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Name: alyssia
Country: United States
State: Michigan
Metro: Ann Arbor
Birthday: 7/21/1988
Gender: Female
Interests: poetry,people- boys, girls, basketball
Expertise: i dont want to scare u away by telling u
Occupation: Student
Industry: Entertainment
Message: message me
AIM:  af21porvida
Yahoo:  acookie1521
Member Since:
12/1/2003
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| ok.......... i feel like a xanga virgin ahahhhaha. I feel like i havent been on here in a million years but its only been like a month and a half which is still alot. But anyways alot of "life" has gone on in my life the past month.
Ive tried alot of things that i wouldnt exactly say im proud of. And alot of other crazy stuff has gone on. I have fallen into the wierdest feelings of love i have ever had/ been in. So like up until about a month ago i thought i was in love with this guy i was with for about a month and a half. I knew my month and a half guy for the past three years tho but anyways we had a very very good relationship. we listen to eachother and worked very hard to keep eachother happy. we changed the way we did things and alot of deep stuff that usually doesnt happen in such a short amount of time. everything was great in our relationship but i still wasnt feelin as right as i should have been like i did love him adn he loved and loves me but i wasnt in love and i didnt see it happening. i loved him for who and how he was but it wasnt the breath taking feeling that i wanted. so i had decided i was going to break up with him 2 weeks before i did the i decided not to do that to him. it hurt me too bad to hurt him so i didnt. Then a week later i went to this hotle party type thing it wasnt very hype so i wouldnt really call it a party but anyway his and that happend i was very happy feeling. after i was ther for about an hour or 2 mike my new boyfriend came over tot he hotel adn after a little while we started to talk. we ended up talking all night. but within 2 hours i was seriously almost lettin 3 big words slip out of my mouth because that how i fealt. and over whealming feeling of deep love . This was a somthing that fealt very simular to a love at first sight thing but it wasnt first sight. i had know him from school the year before. I had liked him but i really didnt pursue him like i have with everyother guy ive liked. I let him know i liked him adn let him do his thing. there was this feeling of no urgency with him so i didnt push nothin on him as if even then i knew we would be where we are at now. so about a week later i broke up with my boyfriend to be with Mike. well i didnt break up with him for mike it was because of how i fealt the whole time. But mike kinda took the last straw that was keepin me with "the guy". So now me and mike are together and makin plans too big for us . but everything feels ok even when we argue everything still feels ok.
through out the whole thing i havent had any questions or 2nd guesses. everything feels right ................ other than me still having this broken hearted feeling from hurtin someone else in teh process.
on a very different note. schools out!!!!! im at sarahs now , just got done watchin poetic justice and yeah life is very good right now even hen its bad. i love all of my friends adn fans love forever and always Alyssia | | |
| hola mi amigos and amigas................. i havent writen in here lately cuz i ve been pretty buzy. umm alot has happend the past week or so..........
im going to start with saturday- lynettes party, umm it was alot of fun , more fun than i thought it would be and yeah clarke i love u and im sorry for chasing u with my titty out. and umm joe and jen i have no words to say about the whip cream thing ahhahah but it was fun even though some bad stuff happpend( not with me ofcourse) ahhaha jen got real sick so i was helpin here out for hours and then yeah asarh and jen spent the night.
school- i started stone on monday and i fucking love it. we do alot of sitting and listening to the damn teachers but other than that its alot better than ii thought it would be, i have a coupple new friends and yeash lots of beautiful guys LOTS! but i love my baby so i guess it kinda doesnt matter.
and umm lots of other stuff my baby came over on monday and we hung out but he was mad i got drunk of saturday....... then lets see what else... i got reall messed up on somthings that u light up yesterday and was feeling amazing and had a great sleep but didnt wanna get up this morning and umm thats about it for now cuz my little shit head want to get on his xanga so yeah umm i might finish later but yeah bye bye
i love u all.......... and u ppl who keep telling me u read my xanga need to start leaving comments. all of u ppl need to leave comments. too many ppl telling me that they read it when i see them in person but u dont leave comments...........Alyssia Wants Comments!!!!!!!!!!!! grrrr
thank u and i love u all lots bye bye
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| - me so horny yea i love my background........... i definately goes for manu ppl around me.. pull ur heads out ya damn asses please before i pull my ghetto black side out on ur asses .............. will some white person please tell me what it means to be black and some black person please tell me what it means to be black becuase i got in a heated argument with some ppl today and i need some opinion please .
ok on another note, today was pretty good didnt do anything exciteing which is pretty bad since it is a damn friday night but anyway i had fun doin nothin. ive lost like 7 1/2 pounds this past week and i havent even been trying. And yes i have been eating (alot). i saw some nasty ass commercials and then saw a bunch of shit online so i decided to become a vegitarian again and yeah in a damn week ive lost that much weight so yeha im happy about the random weightloss. All i did today was sleep till like 11 which was too late cuz i was supposed to get up and go see JD today but yeah i didnt do that cuz im lazy...... then i went with my moms fiance to elp his uncle move and i got 20 dollars for that which aint shit but since i didnt knwo i was gonna get it , it feels nice to ahve random money from someone ive never met. im a furniture prostitute  . yeah umm i still havent found anyone i actually want to have a relationship with yet but we are workin on it kind not really but anywayzz im gonna find someone perfect. i know it.im psychic for those of u who didnt know that
ahhahah yeah im slow  im so damn wide awake i dont knwo what to do with my self . go masturbate maybe ahhhhah just kidding. i think . well see when i have to go to bed haaaaaa ahahha ahhahhahhahahhah ahhahahha hahahhah yeah sounds like fun huh 
yeah well my bestfriend is crazy and her as had me in a bad mood all night cuz all her as was doing was complaining. it was reasonable shit thats going on in her life to be complaining about but grr it fucked my mood up so i didnt even wanna go out so yeah shit on her head.
so yeah i really have nothing else to say so im done sounding wierd bubye loves.  | | |
| - We belong together ok so i spent forever writting a beautiful entry last night and made it vanish 
But today is a new day so im going to smile.
So Sarah and Andrew and Jen  , just left a little while ago and yeah it was real real fuckin random that they showed up but i guess its ok. So yeah i love u guys. Anyways its been forever and a million years since i wrote in this thing, except for last night and i dont know why. i dont think i really find this all that interesting but im gonna start using it as much as possible because i need to be keeping a journal and i honestly dont care if other people can see it. So yeah i havent really talk to my boyfriend at all this week and at first i was kinda sad about it because i really really liked him last week (hahah) but now im just like fuck it so if u want some lovin holla at me . Lets see what else...... my first love finally has a new girlfriend and its been like 3 fuckin years so im happy for him ..... Congradulations hun......... and yeah life is crazy right now because for the first time in forever it isnt crazy so it feels so wierd. im a person that is very addicted to drama so this is hard for me to continue to let things in this house be normal .well as normal as i think this house can get. My family is very very very wierd. My uncle just left today and im going to miss him, hes been stayin with us for like 6 months , now hes moving to Colorado. Ummm yeah so now that hes gone well see if people were puttin on a front while he was here. My moms boyfriend/ fiance will probably start going fuckin psyco all the time again but we will see how shit gopes in this disfunctional house. At dinner tonight My moms fiance Chris made me spegetti since i dont eat meat and all that nasty stuff anymore and the noodles werent cooked so i was looking at them funny then my mom grabbed one and threw it at my shirt then another one at my damn head so i grabbed a hand full threw them in her face . yeah it was pretty funny , along with all the talk about vagina it was an interesting dinner........................... but i guess that goes with my personality. yeah ummm ive been quite the bitch lately cuz i dont know how to deal with shit bein non dramatic in my house and my life period so i feel wierd. im going through withdrawl......... happiness and geting along with my family does not satisfy my drama addiction.
New subject now.......... ive been in a very caring mood lately like i want a relationship i think. Im not usually the relationship kind of person but my mindframe has changed alot over the past year and a half and again the past couple of months. sooooooooooo i need someone to love who has time for me. my Boyfriend doesnt have any time for me. I would never ever in a million years even ask let alone expect him to drop the thing thats takin up all his Alyssia Time , cuz i know he loves basketball but its hard to want to stay in this " relationship" if thats what u wanna call it when hes never home he gets home at like 9 30 all the damn time and is so exauhsted from playin basketball for hours that hes either too tired to talk or too boring to talk to cuz hes like half asleep. But i really care about him, cuz hes so different, hes such and asshole but i love it, its so so wierd. Im the type of person that doesnt stand for motha fucka's talkin shit to me especially not no damn boyfriend but shit when he does it im like oooooooohwwww i lvoe it when hes an asshole and hes also very sweet so yeah...... but i think another couple of days of no talking or 5 min phone convos im gonna be done done done. Im bein faithful to a name not a person cuz i dont ever get "him" , his time his touch his anything and when i do get it im so mad at him that im just a bitch the whole time so its a damn horrible circle. but yeah............... im lookin for a replacment. I need someone who can handle me bein me adn still show me how much they care. thats another thing about him he has a hard time expressing himself, alot of guys do but grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr and when he does it just makes me laugh because he doesnt do it enough so i find it kinda funny. yeah so someone find me and love me . thank u.
yeah well im going to go to be soon i think so i think im dont writting for tonight
I LOVE U ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL | | |
| ok well i just spent a half an hour written a damn entry and that shit just disapeard so im very pissed off so im going to bed grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr  
ahh i have no words im so grrrrrrrrrrd out blah bye now i sound wierd so im leaving now have fun! | | |
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