Currently Reading The Divine Conspiracy: Rediscovering Our Hidden Life In God By Dallas Willard see related

Question? (rhetorical)

How do you know if you really like someone or if you are just horny as hell?

Sometimes, I got to tell you, I don't know. It's not that being really horny is bad, god made me this way. It's just that it is difficult to differentiate the two at times.

I mean, by me missing someone is it because I genuinely care about them or is it because I'm just horny and want something to touch?

I guess if you care about someone you can enjoy their company without thinking about sex....sure.

You're able to put her/his interest before yours and see her/him as a child of god...ok.

Ultimately, I believe what I'm trying to say is that a man's penis can be deceiving.

And it's my job to save others and myself from it.

______________________________________________

I want to be obedient to god in this part of my life, and I think equally important, I don't want to undermine the person in front of me. I want to do the right thing.

It's difficult being a single twenty-something in a hedonistic culture and trying to follow jesus.

Dallas Willard, in The Divine Conspiracy, talks about it being possible to live in control of this through the power of the holy spirit. Based simply on the fact that the bible says we can. Do I believe it?

Currently Listening Lightness By Peter and the Wolf see related

New older brother

Story goes...

I celebrated Father's Day two Sundays ago by eating dinner with one of my twin brothers and our pops.

Afterwards I headed back to my dad's place to watch some TV. After the show was over I told my dad it was time to head on back to San Marcos. He walked me out, a little odd I thought, and before I arrived to my truck he pulled me aside to tell me something...

A week later, I finished work, then headed straight home to change. I was calculating, grabbing towel first followed by a swift move to the dresser to get out the essentials and lay them on the bed. Before you could count to ten I was out of the shower. I was soon dressed driving to Bastrop.

I stepped out of the truck, made my way to the front door of my dad's home and walked in. Except for an unfamiliar face sitting on the couch the house was empty. In the kitchen is where I found my dad's wife, not a surprise, she's always cooking it seems. I said hello and she pointed outside when asked where I could find my dad.

I opened the back door, stepped out and surveyed the yard. I saw them in the left corner, next to the house. I walked toward them..."Hey, pop"....then I saw my new older brother.

He sat with his back facing me. As he stood he turned and I saw a man I never new nor met before but shared the same father as I.

Through the course of the night food was grilled and beer was had. I came to find out that evening, as well my immediate brothers, that my father met a women. They were both young. She had yet to turn 18 and he promised her that when she became of age he would marry her. He did. For reasons not clearly given it didn't work out. I'm not sure when my father new he had this child. I do know when his son found out.

He was 17 drinking with relatives on my dad's side. Everyone in my distant family was in the know on who this guys real father was, except him of course. So, it was in that night of debauchery that a person having a bad night tries to sooth his soul by crapping on someone else..."well, your dad is not your real father."

I'm not sure how I feel about all of this. Honestly, I don't think I feel anything, not that I don't care. How should I feel? I don't know, it's never happened to me before....later that night I also came to know that it won't be the last...there is another guy out there I will meet someday that has yet to be found.

Currently Listening Easy Tiger By Ryan Adams see related

Question

Is it a good thing or bad thing when you can't tell the difference between a 'believer' and a 'non-believer?'

Seriously, respond.

Why I Run

Put on the shorts. Put on the tee. Tie the laces. And go.

There are obvious benefits and motives for running, getting in shape and building self-esteem are a few.

As of today, there are some that have superseded the others.

Now, I won't go into the cause of recent occurences . I do want to talk about the running, though.

I find when I run, I'm in control. That it is up to me when I decide to stop...10min...20....30...35. I say when I am done.

I'm in control, no one else. I have the power to decide for my life, in that moment in time, what is going to happen. No one else, and as blaspheming as this sounds, not even god.

I'm in control. I decide when to change pace. 100 degree heat...no problem, you will not stop me....concrete hill, I'm running over you...you will not stop me.

I've found that running really takes two virtues: endurance and will.

I WILL myself over the hill and ENDURE the pain...IM...IN...CONTROL...I don't predict, I don't hope, I don't ask, I decide.

I can't control others and will them to be something they are not. I can't control my humanity, I am doomed to make poor decisions sooner or later. I can't control life's circumstances or my feelings sometimes.

However,

I am in control when I run.

I need to know that....even when I don't know where I'm running to.

Currently Listening Friend By Grizzly Bear see related

In Portland

I'm in Portland.I got in this past monday. It's been cool seeing familar faces, beautiful landscapes and tasty food.

This is a welcomed break from a busy academic year that was full of stress, in the form of eye twitching, and busyness.

I know I've only been here for two days, but by-god I don't know if I want to go back.

One more year. We'll see what happens after that.

Oh, and I just saw my reasearch posted on my schools website, check it out if curious as to what i'll be doin for the next year of my life. It's Titled "River System Institute undertakes Cypress Creek study"

http://www.txstate.edu/

the dark hole at the corner is the artisian spring named Jacob's Well ( the head waters of Cypress Creek).