ai_pik_mai_nohz's Xanga

the sound of summer

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 06:22:38 GMT

the beating of the fan

sounds like the churning of the lawn mower,

sounds like the roar of the rain,

sounds like the droning of the air conditioner;

gee add a little laughter of children

and sizzling barbeque,

and you've got the sound of summer.

yes i know, my poetry doesnt have any rhyme or meter. in fact might as well be prose.

sandwiches are life.

Sun, 29 Jun 2008 04:13:55 GMT

So, after a good chunk of time doing the Quiznos thing sophomore year, ive moved on to Subway. work there is pretty decent and tolerable, and we get free lunch sandwiches. Why stay with the sub industry, you might ask. I don't know. i must naturally gravitate towards jobs that involve scrutinized food processing and floor mopping and dish washing. i will say, though, that im starting to doubt the whole Jared advertisings. i mean, ive been eating these sandwiches for more than a week, and i really dont feel any slimmer. in fact ive been sorta gaining weight. perhaps they compare fast foods to subs, in which case there may be some benefits, but going from plain homemade chinese food to italian breads, mayonaise smotherings and meat slices, not to mention the chips and sodas... Houston, we need a diet.

Summer has also turned out to mean lots of down time to watch cable TV. Some of my new favorite haunts have been MTV's Made and 10 Years Younger. Both of these shows emphasize the importance of outward appearance in relation to self-confidence, and also, of taking initiatives to change yourself. Which brings me dangerously close, once again, to the "hmm how should i reshape my image for the next year," kind of thoughts and goal setting. As far as outward appearance, i realize that my style and grooming could use some improvement, but i dont feel as bad off as those middle aged women who dress in really baggy and tired clothes. i mean, i purposely wear t-shirts, and purposely have have some worn and raggedy things, because i like the look. I appreciate the youthful and carefree air that it eminates, like you just got done exploring a forest or something, i dont know. but i suppose that kind of look will become less and less appropriate as the years accumulate for me, and soon il have to wear make up and go for shopping sprees. i can, however, attribute some blame, or explanation, whatever, to my spending habits. Shopping for a whole new wardrobe for me, would be like eating glass. or atleast cutting off a finger. spending that much money at once just doesnt come naturally. ah one last thing. when they give the ppl (on the show) new clothes to wear that are supposedly more feminine and neat, i wish at least, that the show hosts could help them retain some remnants of their personality. all the new clothes that they get look the samee! or maybe personality doesnt come from the clothes themselves, but from the person, and how the person wears the clothes. yay moral extraction from the materialistic world.

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Sun, 01 Jun 2008 04:50:17 GMT

it seems that summer is upon us, and i havent even had time to make a "what im going to do over the summer" list! i must have been really busy with school work, or otherwise preoccupied in the world in my head. so i have survived supposedly, the hardest year of high school without any major scars, but the question is, have i merely survived it, or have i prevailed over it (Faulkner's Nobel Prize exceptance speech)? i guess it depends on what i will consider makes a year successful, and if i didnt get pushed around too much by bad influences and trends. also, it depends on how often i stopped and appreciated and enjoyed things that i had while i had them... which i admit i did not do too much of. But hey, i think i can say i tried my best this time around, and time goes on bringing with it blessed second chances!

this summer id love dearly to:

read =D
work at starbucks
sleep whenever i want to (actually, develop good living habits)
volunteer at the library
get better at basketball
go jogging
draw
go to schlitterbahn
have movie marathons with friends
watch all the cool library movies
go for bike rides
sew a quilt
make some graphic designs
start the ipod case charity business
watch Death Note, Inuyasha, and Ghost in the Shell SAC 2
swim occasionally even though vincent hates swimming
actually do quiet times!!
do stuff with the dgroup =)

ive already thought of all these when it was still school time, but something about lists makes daily life more dramatic and important, haha. so yea, pretty exciting. im starting to feel hot and muggy already though x0. no big vacations, i think, but hopefully the little things can hold me over, and i wont be too bored or restless. just relaax. oh yea and i have to purge my room of all the junior year junk, which should take hours and hours of back breaking labor.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Wed, 21 May 2008 04:53:11 GMT

thinking over memories is kind of like how a cow regurgitates the food in its multiple stomachs and chews on it. when we get old, we're just gunna be a whole bunch of tired out but happy skin bags of memory. all the tastes and sounds, the breezes you've felt and the people you've met and known kind of just pulsing in and out of your consciousness. think about it! everything you've done, said to someone, thought, is important....

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Wed, 14 May 2008 03:46:35 GMT

message to everyone: i will be here the first 2 weeks of summer, contrary to what ive been saying. thats right. no Marie Walsh. i've been REJECTED!! ahahh naomi never wins!! oh well. thats ok. im ok. i knew that letter was too thin to hold news of acceptance anyways. so now i can full steam ahead into summer job and... SAT II's?

on another note. prom is coming up!! and luckily ive found the perfect hairstyle:

i think it would compliment my face shape pretty well, dont you?

Saturday, May 03, 2008

Sat, 03 May 2008 07:45:03 GMT

so i guess its time for my monthly update. so, avoiding the laundry list, il have to say that ive been preoccupying myself with many trivial things in order to avoid the larger, connected, issues. for instance, worrying about the dress when im really concerned with the dance (a rather transparent guise if you ask me), and contemplating current handbag designs.. though i suppose there isnt much connected with that, or there's so much that its too complicated to even think about. this summer i told myself that i wasnt going to waste time with philosophic abstractions and was going to focus on living life "as it was." that effort itself became a colossal waste of time. because while thinking too many deep thoughts, you subsequently live in the past and the future and never in the present, but living life numbly and mindlessly also leaves much to be desired. in any case, thoughts never stop running, and as Sophocles says, "an unexamined life is not worth living." but as Fight Club says, "self improvement is the sedative of the masses"... in not quite the same choice of words. we'll leave the boxing arena for now and return to studies and aim and facebook... normal life. i think ive created an image of myself as a person who highly values school work, or rather, buries herself in it and is constantly preoccupied with it. and while its true that all i do is homework.. id like to be seen as a living, breathing person too!!

xangaa

Sat, 05 Apr 2008 05:35:18 GMT

i guess ive been shying away from the brutal honesty of journals, online or not. but they truely are theraputic. it gives you another place to think, outside ur own head. ok enough of that..

so my dad wants me to go clothes shopping to get some nicer looking clothes, especially for an upcoming award ceramony (for good grades or something like that). he even got me all excited about the shopping, which was kind of silly for me to do, because i suck at both choosing things to buy and dressing nicely. and we even picked out a date to go shopping - saturday. well i guess me and my mom picked out the date. and i got even more excited, because it was something to look forward to during the week. then guess what he does - suggest we go fishing after shopping. which is fine. then he says we should spend most of the day fishing, and shop in the morning, totally compromising the whole planned - doesnt even want to go shopping with me. =(
its kind of like a kid listening in on a conversation about going to disneyland, and assuming that its going to happen, then when summer comes, finds out that the family wasnt really going to go all along. yea ok i just picked a random thing to ramble about, but i do have this irrational feeling of being betrayed. i guess im still a kid

im applying for this summer art program called marie walsh. its for two weeks in a school in coloradoo.. for free! ok i hope marie walsh authorities dont read this, or il sound like a shmo who only likes things that dont require paying for. so here are a few of the pieces that im submitting to be accepted for marie walsh. and i dont like being called artistic, because it makes me sound like im a snooty intellectual who likes to chat in art circles while drinking wine from martini glasses with pinky's up. yea. something like that.

<sean, you should recognize this.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Mon, 25 Feb 2008 02:16:49 GMT

keyboard gunk is the vilest thing (as of now, until i find the next vilest thing).
the dust in between the keys, the crumb looking substances below them, maybe some kind of sticky stuff stuck on the sides.
and how in the world did all of that dirt get there? its sort of like an accumulation of all the times you blobbed out in front of the computer, in addition to the times you procrastinated with the internet (like now), and the quick dashes for online resources. think of all the germs you put in your keyboard with your grubby teenage fingers. eating while homeworking, multitasking as always; picking your nose or scabs, who knows.

food for.. no thought at all. Get Back to your Homework!

i sat on the sat, on sat.

Sat, 26 Jan 2008 00:57:16 GMT

i dont know why everyone's so worried about the SAT's and college and everything. I mean, other than costing alot of money, bereaving teenagers from their parents (at least for some people), being a major transition in life, and setting the direction to the rest of life, college is just another school experience, another succession of hum-drum days. I bet once people actually get there, its like "i forget what the big deal was about," kinda like the transition from middle to high school. anyways, i know most of what im saying is false and naive, im just trying to express a thought here, okay?

so by order of my father, i am staying behind from broomball, listening to the radio, am going to play DDR and knit and watch a movie/tv. and Huck Finn is being an arduous read. probably because im just a bit psychologically out of sorts. just thought id add that irrelevant fact.

20 minutes of exercise for 3 days a week, here i come! thank you health class!

btw who names their kid huckleberry?

Monday, December 10, 2007

Mon, 10 Dec 2007 02:29:41 GMT

i came here thinking that i could express something, but ended up just editing the site itself and putting it off until now whatever i had to say is gone. i would say, "now begins yet another chapter," but no, that's not right. now is only to sing a mournful note. now is to look at our youth group and ask, who are we, really? what do we mean to each other? to the world? How can, and why should we press on? many of us have felt the tear of the sudden removal of a friend, a role model, even a second father, like tearing off a bandaid, or seperating a nail from the flesh. but why the eulogies and dirges? Conrad, wherever you are, whatever happened, i wish you well, and i thank you for the years that you've been amongst us, laughing and crying with us, leading us, and lifting us up closer to God. Hopefully relations won't just dropped and thown asunder like this, and we'll all talk and laugh again, and i'll laugh at this post as a rash and foolish blurb. until then, kisses to the wind; the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.