Ok, another early morning, 5.25 to be exact. Damn yo, haterz get on your job! Mad people sweat me. Be easy! I have no time for this shit.

I'm so done with my exes who have done me wrong. I have trust issues when it comes to ex-boyfriends EXCEPT FOR ONE. I guess most of the time I just get G'ed. Why? I'm the nicest girlfriend you can ever have. I hand you a silver platter when you're my man. What happens next? My efforts and generosity are left unappreciated and tossed. It's ok though, because I know that I was the better half.

I'm not going to lie, i've done some crazy psycho shit in the past because I thought it was out of love. Not anymore. I'm a grown ass woman- 23 is creeping around the corner. I realized that a man who tears my heart into pieces as well as a man who lies compulsively does not deserve me. Even as a friend. [Thank you Oprah and KeiF.. LOL]

I just got my second encounter from "the new chick" or "the ex". Let me tell you, it's some crazy shit. I guess it's immature of me to stoop down and retaliate but.. when you're tight- there's no excuse. Seriously though, he's not worth it. There's no future there. Yeah I used to sweat him, he was a gorgeous... but what's all of that if he can't offer you anything nor reciprocate the feeling, better yet- lie to you in your face.

I need "Aimee time" and focus on me. I hold down two jobs to represent for all the independent chicks who don't need their man nor their parents to get what they want. I get on my grind when needed. There's qualities in me like no other, so if I have to boost my self-esteem to keep my mind off these girls- then let it be. Haters get on your job! Say as much as you can... I'm done.

It's around 5:42. Lately, I've constantly been waking up at the crack of dawn for no reason. I feel like something is missing, so I start to get depressed and cry. I can only blaze to put myself back to sleep.

I feel so dramatic. Sometimes it's hard not to cry because I'm hurt. I try not to think about situations, but everywhere I look.... pieces of him are everywhere. Places we went to together, certain cars, even the man that's rollerblading in the park.... I get so sad, I don't want to do anything... I don't want to have fun because I dwell on these memories that I wish was still here because back then, I was really happy.

It's so hard not to feel so emotional when you realize you care about that person and want to be with that person more than ever.

I don't know what went wrong and I really blame myself. I blame myself for fucking up something that was so good. I'm a mess.

Kind of sad how no one can really be here for me when I wake up randomly because normal people are usually sleeping at this time. So after a brief hiatus from xanga, I'm back.

I find myself crying a thousand times... I can't regret messing with you...