aintya_glad_I_said_banana's Xanga

The Tight Rope

Thu, 20 Mar 2008 13:54:49 GMT

Beware in your prayer, above everything, of limiting God, not only by unbelief, but by fancying that you know what He can do.
... Andrew Murray

There's this balance that we need to find in our prayer life....somewhere between believing and trusting. It's like walking a tight rope...lean too far one way, and you fall into unbelief. Lean too far the other way, and you fall into the name it, claim it mantra of thinking by sheer force of your will, it WILL happen. I think the key may be that when we pray.....the longer we pray, the quieter we get. Then we start listening and God can speak into our spirit's what he wants us to pray and how he will answer.

I'm still work in process when it comes to being quiet. I'm so glad God is SO patient and just waiting for me to shut up...I hope He doesn't have to wait too long....

"Be still and know that I AM GOD".

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Wed, 19 Mar 2008 17:51:25 GMT

I'm bringing Xanga back - drop a comment if you're with me!

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Sat, 21 Jul 2007 11:16:25 GMT

Prayer is the movement of trust, of gratitude, of adoration, or of sorrow, that places us before God, seeing both Him and ourselves in the light of His infinite truth, and moves us to ask Him for the mercy, the spiritual strength, the material help, that we all need. The man whose prayer is so pure that he never asks God for anything does not know who God is, and does not know who he is himself: for he does not know his own need of God. All true prayer somehow confesses our absolute dependence on the Lord of life and death. It is, therefore, a deep and vital contact with Him whom we know not only as Lord but as Father. It is when we pray truly that we really are. Our being is brought to a high perfection by this.
... Thomas Merton, No Man Is an Island

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Thu, 26 Apr 2007 14:53:46 GMT

So I'm off to Germany May 1st. I'm touring in the Frankfurt area and will be working with a band from out there. I'll be there until May 22nd and in the middle of the tour, Adam is coming to visit! Woohoo!! He'll be spending about a week with us and I can't wait to see him! I haven't seen him since November and won't see him again until August so this is a much need "catch up". Guess how much it costs for him to fly from Dublin to Frankfurt? One penny each way plus taxes...isn't that insane? So the flight will cost about $30.00 total. Why don't we have airlines like that in N. America?! Why are taxes on flights 6x more here?! Why is chocolate fattening?!

Last week I was in Calgary and saw Jordan and Vanya. I think something has changed in them everytime I see them....Jordan is growing in wisdom and Vanya is growing more and more in love with God and Nathan....! I also did a concert and got to work with Marty Gray again...whataguy!! So talented! And Marty and Jordan did a short concert as well....wow, is all I can say...though I am a bit prejudice I guess, but Jordan is writing SUCH amazing tunes. I hope he and Adam and Marty do something together when Adam comes home. They could call the band...."the talented". How does that sound?!

Well, I have to go buy some Maple Butter for all my friends in Germany...

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Sun, 25 Mar 2007 22:56:27 GMT

When I was 18 years old, I got on a plane to Manchester England....it was the fall of 1979. I was on my way to Capernwray Bible School and what I thought would be a great adventure. I left behind the man who would be my future husband and an extremely sheltered home life and what I stepped into was life experience and teaching that would forever shape me. I learned what it meant to share a room with 8 girls and be so homesick that I thought I would die and eat my way through 30 lbs of British chocolate that stayed with me all the way back to Canada. I learned to write songs on my guitar that helped me make it through when my dysfunctional social behaviour caused me such heartache. But mostly, I had the privilege of being taught by men like John Stott and Alan Redpath and Charles Price....and I learned that it wasn't all about me. They taught me things that have come back time and time again and how thankful I am for the great teachers that I have passed on my pilgrim's progress....that I had the pleasure of sitting down with them....for a short time.

If I disobey the inner voice of His Spirit, I will lose the fullness. I can never lose the relationship, but I will lose the fullness. When there's disobedience in the Christian life the fullness ceases. He is there but He is grieved. And you soon know when you've lost the fullness, because the joy is gone. The fellowship is gone. The reality of the presence of Christ is gone. It's Satan's delight to tell me that once he's got me, he will keep me. But at that moment I can go back to Him. And I know that if I confess my sins, God is faithful and just to forgive me.
Alan Redpath

Friday, March 16, 2007

Fri, 16 Mar 2007 08:41:50 GMT

I have called my material surroundings a stage set. In this I can act. And you may well say "act". For what I call "myself" (for all practical, everyday purposes) is also a dramatic construction; memories, glimpses in the shavinglass, and snatches of the very fallible activity called "introspection", are the principal ingredients. Normally I call this construction "me"' and the stage set "the real world". Now the moment of prayer is for me -- or involves for me as its condition -- the awareness, the reawakened awareness, that this "real world" and "real self" are very far from being rock-bottom realities. I cannot, in the flesh, leave the stage, either to go behind the scenes or to take my seat in the pit; but I can remember that these regions exist. And I also remember that my apparent self -- this clown or hero or super -- under his grease-paint is a real person with an off-stage life. The dramatic person could not tread the stage unless he concealed a real person: unless the real and unknown I existed, I would not even make mistakes about the imagined me. And in prayer this real I struggles to speak, for once, from his real being, and to address, for once, not the other actors, but -- what shall I call Him? The Author, for He invented us all? The Producer, for He controls all? Or the Audience, for He watches, and will judge, the performance?
... C. S. Lewis, Letters to Malcolm

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Tue, 30 Jan 2007 19:01:17 GMT

So I'm back from the studio in BC and Montreal is a deep freeze...-21 this morning and no sign of letting up. I thought Calgary was cold, but this is ridiculous! But it's good to be home. I had such a great time in the studio and I didn't even fight with Roy...amazing! AND I got exactly what I was looking for with this project. So the CD is set to hit stores in March and go in the national flier that goes into all Canadian homes, which is really great for me. We used all of Adam's pictures for the booklet and so now he's a published photographer and he's so cute too!! Jordan's friend, Dave with the beard, came and had tea with my mom and dad and me. His beard makes him look very distinguished and learn-ed.....Marty is also Marty with the beard now.....he also looks wise and learn-ed.

Now I have the whole month of February off and I'm going to paint and guess what?!?...I'm going to start playing the harp!! Yup...I'm renting a harp and I'm going to find out if it and me are compatible. My sister Wrenetta mocked me and laughed at me when I told her I was going to take up the harp....o ye of little faith! I shall prove her wrong......or quit after 3 months, whatever comes first.

So now I will go make supper and watch all the episodes of "The Office" that I missed. By the way, we just saw "Little Miss Sunshine" and it was pretty good....alot better than Jordan and Vanya said it was. They have no understanding of the intricacies of a good art movie.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Sat, 23 Dec 2006 10:52:46 GMT

Ahhhh.....Christmas in Montreal! This is photo was taken just 3 blocks from where we live! Though, I have to confess, I didn't take this photo and there's actually no snow in Montreal yet this year. In fact, the Fraser Valley probably has more snow then we do. So it's going to be a green Christmas for us for the first time in many years. Randy just left to do last minute Christmas shopping (which means he hasn't bought anything for me yet and he's going to join the million or so other husband's on St Catherine's Street who have that vacant panicked look in their eyes.....wandering.....wandering the malls). Jordan arrives tomorrow and we're going to go to mass at St Joseph's Basilica on Christmas Eve. The service will be in French, but it's one of the most beautiful Cathedrals I've ever been in....architecturally from the Art Deco period of the 20's. I don't know if Jordan or Vanya have ever been to mass, so it will be a new experiance for them.

Vanya and I went to the Montreal Ballet's presentation of "The Nutcracker" yesterday along with about 1,000 squirming school kids....(sigh). But it was magical! I've never been to a ballet and now I understand why people become so enamoured of it. I think there will be a special place in heaven for ballet...

Well, we'll be almost a family complete this year for Christmas....except Adam and I'm missing him terribly. The Eves Family in N. Ireland have the blessing of him this year and I envy them. I miss his exuberance when he REALLY enjoys a good meal; I miss his steadiness when Jordan and Vanya and I suck all the oxygen out of the room; I miss his enthusiasm for life and everything it has to offer; I miss how thankful he is for everything that comes his way.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS ADAM!!!!

And to everybody who reads my blog, I just wish you a wonderous family filled, God filled holiday!

GOD BLESS US, EVERYONE!!!!!!

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Sun, 05 Nov 2006 10:25:21 GMT

I read this today......food for thought......

The self-sins... dwell too deep within us and are too much a part of our natures to come to our attention till the light of God is focused upon them. The grosser manifestations of these sins -- egotism, exhibitionism, self-promotion -- are strangely tolerated in Christian leaders, even in circles of impeccable orthodoxy. They are so much in evidence as actually, for many people, to become identified with the gospel. I trust it is not a cynical observation to say that they appear these days to be a requisite for popularity in some sections of the Church visible. Promoting self under the guise of promoting Christ is currently so common as to excite little notice.
... A. W. Tozer, Pursuit of God

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Wed, 01 Nov 2006 09:31:45 GMT

I've been thinking about legacies....what we're going to leave behind.

I mean, besides our kids and what we nurture in them, will we actually have a legacy to leave? It could be a despressing melancholy, to think that when I die, I will have not left any mark on this earth that would matter in God's Kingdom....

The thing is, we may never know the legacy that we leave. We may never have our names mentioned in history books. We may be completely forgotten, entirely nameless in 100 years. BUT, maybe one of us will build a church that is so beautiful, that 1,000 years later, it inspires a songwriter to write a worship song that touches the entire world. One of us might go to India and talk to a child on the beach about Jesus, and then this child starts attending a local church. He grows up to be an evangelist who touches his nation with the truth of Jesus Christ, but he doesn't ever remember the name of that "lady" who talked to him that day on the beach. Maybe, one of us will become a developer, who buys land in an area that everyone thinks is a huge risk, just because instincts tell you to, and 200 years later, this building becomes a center for the homeless and those most in need....perfectly located for them. Or one of us might begin praying for our city, fervently, for years, that revival might come, and then, suddenly, through a life changing catastrophe, God touches the heart of the people and revival breaks out in the city that goes on for 15 years. But no one will ever know it was your prayers that started the revival.

Maybe, when we stand before God, we will be surprised by joy.....that we made a difference. Maybe, it's all about living our lives the best we know how.....Just doing the "stuff" that Jesus has called us to do and trusting Him for the rest....