Uncertainty.

There it was in her eyes. Very faint, almost nonexistent. But it was there. I know her so well that I can easily identify what it was that was flashing in her strangely-coloured eyes. I knew when she was happy. Sad. Angry. But what I dreaded most of all was when she was uncertain. Especially now. In this time of waiting.

My beautiful, confident one. She was not one to be uncertain. No. In the world where we were brought up in, uncertainty could prove to be disastrous. Yet it was there. And I couldn't help but KNOW that I was the one who put it there.

Playing the field too well, too long would have its consequences. Two players deciding to quit... was a Herculean feat. But we knew all along- if belatedly realizing that we did- that one thing we wanted.

But she was still uncertain, nevertheless. It made me anxious a bit. I have worked too hard to get us here. Then again, if she escaped me now, I'll still chase after her. I'd do everything in my power to let the world know, let HER know, that she belongs to me. 

If she only believed wholeheartedly that I, too, belonged to her. Exclusively. Doesn't she know that she has me whether she wants me or not? But that's the problem isn't it? Whether she's sure that she'll always want me. Like I said, playing the field too well, too long.

She's not doubting me. At least I hope not. No. She's more than ever doubting herself. Played too well, too long. The ring I had slipped on with much difficulty but a few months earlier torments her resolve to keep her promise. I wish she'd stop seeing it as her shackles in those times when she is tormented.

I can only guess too well how it is. I've gone through it- still going through it- myself. Permanence. Commitment. These are alien to us. Especially commitment. Hasn't she told me once? 'Forever is such a long time...'

The only thing that had been constant was having each other. Time and again we found ourselves with each other. But it only took so long to realize why. Longer for her, I think.

I looked at her. I knew nothing I say would dispel that look I hated. I wish I can read her mind, hear her thoughts. Will we ever see forever? Much less a year?
 
She was restless. Is it someone else?

I saw him come into the room. Her eyes lit up as she looked at him. Sparkled. She smiled at him and greeted him warmly from across the room. He smiled back. She probably heard him coming long before I was aware of him. Maybe it was he who put that look in her eyes just moments ago.

His wife followed him in a few second later. I looked at her. Smiled charmingly. She sighed and rolled her eyes. There was a question in her eyes.

We rose to greet them as they neared. I can feel that she was getting all excited and worked up. Should I be jealous? I looked at him. He was looking at her. I shook my head. And I turned to his wife. She was looking at them too. Especially at her.

Then his wife turned and smiled at me, understanding dawning in her eyes. I smiled.

I felt her hand slip into mine. I looked down at her beautiful, strangely-coloured eyes, completely deep blue now. The look was gone. My chest loosened up. I felt better, lighter. Definitely happier, too. I gave her hand a squeeze. I understood.  

I turned back to our audience. One of my best friends and his young wife. They are one of the closest friends we have. We shared more than mutant genes with them. His ice blue eyes and her green ones were glowing.

I grinned and said, "Yes. Finally, we're engaged."

*for meg's benefit*